Michael Richards: Want to Change Your Family? Try This!
Have you ever thought, “Something needs to change around here,” when looking at your family? I invited my friend Mike Richards on to share a insightful poem and we chat about how changing something in our families starts with one big step.
Episode Discussion Points
When Mike shared this poem at an author retreat a couple of years ago, it really impacted me, and I wanted him to share it with my listeners.
Mike has learned that sometimes when he gets inspiration, he has got to act on it, and that is where this poem came from—he wrote it in 30 minutes.
The poem conveys a yearning for better work/family life balance and a desire to make an impact by making little daily changes in yourself.
“If I wanted to change my family, I would…..”
If you do want to change your family, you begin by leveling up yourself
Reaching out to God in daily prayer at the beginning and end of each day
If you put God first, He will bless you to know how to help your family.
Asking Him to help you parent His/your children in a better way—and following those promptings.
As parents we are often our own harshest critic.
Teaching repentance and forgiveness by example.
“If I want to see this ripple effect of change in my children, then I need to model it myself.”
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #family #faith #change #changeyourselfchangetheworld #changestartshere #JesusChrist
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
Tamara Anderson 0:02
Have you ever wanted to change something in your family? If so, you're not alone. I think sometimes as a mom, I look around and think I would love to see things function a little differently around here. And if you've ever had those thoughts, I have a special treat for you. Today I'm bringing on a friend who wrote an amazing poem that has just kind of gone over and over in my mind today, and he is going to share that with you so that you too can learn how to change your family. Stay tuned.
Tamara Anderson 0:39
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 1:05
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Stories of Hope in Hard Times podcast. I'm your host, Tamara K. Anderson. And guys, it's not very often that I get to bring on a good friend. But today I get to do that. And I am so excited to have my friend Mike Richards on today. Mike, thanks for coming on the show today.
Mike Richards 1:22
Thanks, Tamara.
Tamara Anderson 1:23
Oh, we're I'm so excited to have you. And the reason I wanted to bring Mike on today is because a couple of years ago at an author retreat, he shared this poem that has just kind of gone over and over and over again, in my mind. And it just had a really powerful impact on me. And you can tell Mike is a good writer if he has that kind of impact, through his words, in a poem, and so I am just thrilled to bring him on now. Mike, why don't you give me a little bit of background on how you ended up writing this poem to begin with?
Mike Richards 1:59
Yeah, no, absolutely. So it's kind of interesting. I, I do things a lot by inspiration, I guess is what I would say, I can almost feel a thought or a nudge coming to me to go, hey, you've got to, you need to write this or you need to reach out to this person or something along those lines. And I know that if I don't pause for a moment, and and figure out what I need to do there, then it will just pass me by. And so this this poem when I wrote it, honestly, I almost feel like it was downloaded into my into my mind it. I wrote it in about 30 minutes. One morning.
Tamara Anderson 2:45
Wow.
Mike Richards 2:46
Yeah.
Tamara Anderson 2:47
That's when you know, it is inspiration, right?
Mike Richards 2:48
Yeah, exactly, exactly. It was about 10 years ago, when I was working with a company. We were trying to create these faith based online games for kids, and where we'd have the characters play through these different scenarios and stories. And I was the head writer there. And I think being in that creative brain daily, I think that helped as well. When I was at work i i arrived early, just kind of waiting to get things started and just had the thoughts come to me and I wrote it down.
Tamara Anderson 3:26
Yeah, and how many, like Where were you in your family at this point? Did you how many kids did you have? And were they ages approximately?
Mike Richards 3:35
And? Yeah, so it's, it's funny, because when I read it now, while it's still very applicable, I look at it and go, I can definitely tell with a four year old, a two year old and a newborn. And I can definitely see that desire of trying to balance my work life with family life.
Tamara Anderson 3:56
I think that's a struggle that we all have to balance that out. And and so it's neat that you're able to take those desires of your heart and put them into words. Well, that desire for balance that desire for change, although you did mention you didn't like the word "change." Tell me why.
Mike Richards 4:17
Yeah. So when I've gone back, and I've read this over the years, I feel like every time I read it, I go, I wish I'd use a different word other than change, because I don't know that that for me personally. And maybe for others. I don't know that that was my desire. I certainly didn't want to change my family. I have a wonderful wife. And at that time, I had three great kids and loved everything about it. And I almost think that it's more of rather than change I feel like it's maybe moving from good to great or transforming my family or or even leveling it up in a ways is what I would say just
Tamara Anderson 4:56
Making an impact. I want to make an impact on my family type thing.
Mike Richards 5:01
Yeah. And I didn't want to let the years go by, with, you know, the desires and things that I wanted to be as a husband and a father and just let those pass by without trying to constantly just try and improve and be be better and better each day what I could do in those aspects.
Tamara Anderson 5:22
That's awesome. So with that in mind, Mike, would you mind sharing this beautiful poem with us about how we can impact or change? Or just take baby daily, tiny nudges towards progress? Not only in our family, but particularly in ourselves?
Mike Richards 5:43
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I am grateful for the opportunity to share it. So thanks for asking me too.
Mike Richards 5:50
If I wanted to change my family, I would begin with myself. I would stop wondering what if, stop planning for some day and start enjoying the sunshine of today. If I wanted to change my family, the moment my eyes opened each new day, I would roll out of bed and onto my knees. I would first thank Him. And then I would ask for His guidance. And I would do this consistently, without missing a single day.
Mike Richards 6:18
If I wanted to change my family, I would change my priorities. Family comes first. Always first. Their phone calls to the most urgent, their time the most valuable, and their needs the most important. If I wanted to change my family, I would show love. A hug here a kiss there, a gentle pat on the back. The red marker on the wall, the shattered vase from long ago, the toys from yesterday put away, only to be scattered on the floor today. It's okay. Kind words, no yelling, understanding learning.
Mike Richards 6:56
If I wanted to change my family, I would ask more than what did you learn in school today? I would prepare my children for the future. I would teach them how to use their hands, how to use their minds, and the value of hard work. I would explore their talents so that I could help their light shine bright.
Mike Richards 7:18
If I wanted to change my family, I would stop saying I am too busy. I would turn the television off and hide my phone away. The latest text, tweet and score update. They can wait. My time becomes our time I would minimize my extracurricular activities. And I would ask my children to minimize theirs. And I would do all this so that when they are my age, my children won't to ask, where did the time go? And when I my parents age, I want to ask, how did they grow up so quickly?
Mike Richards 7:53
If I wanted to change my family, I would talk to my children, live their adventures and dream their dreams. I would involve them in all that I do. So that they will involve me in all that they do. And I would realize that all they really want is to know that I love them.
Mike Richards 8:12
If I wanted to change my family, I would embrace my role. I am called Father. I'm called Mother, provider comforter protector, entertainer, cook, chauffeur, handyman, educator. I am called Hero. If I wanted to change my family, I would see their eyes looking at me. As I am so shall they be. Clean thoughts clean hands clean speech, clean actions--in the light of day, in the darkness of night, all day every day. My foundation built on honesty--unwavering and immovable.
Mike Richards 8:50
And if I wanted to change my family, when the day is done, I would be there--pajamas on one last song. One last story. Tired, eyes tucked in tight, a kiss on the forehead. Lights go out. Good night, back on my knees humbly, meekly offering gratitude for the blessings that I ever received.
Tamara Anderson 9:13
Hmm. That is such a powerful poem. And I hope you as listeners can see why it has just gone on and over and over and just played in my mind. These last few years since Mike originally shared it with me. I feel like there is a certain sense of personal accountability in there you know that it's it really is leveling everyone up. But we do that by improving ourselves. And that's that's the message I glean from it most of all, is that if I really want to change everybody, I need to look at me first. What parts are more pertinent to you now?
Mike Richards 10:00
You know, as I read through it, I still feel like I always thought like, the most important part of it was bringing God into it. And from the moment that you wake up, and when you go to bed, I think there's, it's really, really important to spend that quiet time in the evening, whether it's just two minutes, 10 minutes, and just recognize the blessings that you've had that day and the things that you're thankful for. Because you can always find those, even on the worst days. And I think that that puts you in a good mindset, as you, you know, as you go to sleep, and helps you be ready for the next day. And I also, like I mentioned earlier, it's still kind of a constant battle, in my head of trying to find that, that proper balance between work and, and family, and that worry, as a father that, you know, am I there, enough for my children. And so it's, yeah, that that's what sticks out to me the most.
Tamara Anderson 11:10
I love that, because I think you're spot on that. God wants us to prioritize things in the right order. And often it is, things that are not as important that distract us and drag us away from the things that are most important. And it almost takes a conscious effort of saying, okay, as I put God first, then He helps me then put my family first, He helps inspire me to know, okay, I need to do this with this child or that with that child.
Tamara Anderson 11:42
You know, a couple of years ago, I even ended up, we ended up getting a dog because I felt through inspiration that one of our kids needed it. They were going through a really hard time, and they've always loved animals. And even though I did not want an animal in my house, that inspiration helped me realize--this is what this child needs. And it's been a blessing to our whole family. So you know, we got to follow those those daily promptings. Right?
Mike Richards 12:12
Right. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I almost feel like it was working hand in hand with God. And I can tell in the times, even when, even when I wrote this poem, when you're focusing on the right things, and just you get so much inspiration in so many different ways.
Tamara Anderson 12:32
I think you're absolutely right. I love how you said, working hand in hand with God, because I've often felt that He being the Heavenly Parent, knows so much more about my children and loves them so much more perfectly than I do, that if I need to help them, then I really need His help to do that. And also trust that, that He's got an eye on them, on the days that I'm really worried about them, you know, as they enter those teenage years, and you start, there's so much out there, right? So much bad out there. And just, it's almost like they go to school each day. And I kind of entrust them to God and pray for angels to be around them. And because life is hard, you know, if I feel that way, as an imperfect parent, I can only imagine that Him--that He sees us and loves us exponentially more. Infinitely perfect. And and that He cares, not only for me and my ability to be the best parent I can be, but He cares for them. And hopefully He makes up for my deficiencies.
Mike Richards 13:53
Yeah, like, I think, at least for me, another aspect of that is, as a parent, I feel like I'm probably my harshest critic. And sometimes that can go in a negative way, where it's not helpful for you to try and you know, you're almost being too hard on yourself. And they think that, that that continued focus on God allows you to have hope for yourself as well.
Tamara Anderson 14:24
Hmm. I think you're, you've got that spot on right there. I love the idea of being continually repentant, and, you know, turning to God for forgiveness. But I also remember seeing this example in my own father that when he made mistakes, as parents often do, I remember him coming to me and just saying, Hey, I'm sorry, I yelled the other night. You know, and as a teenager, that was a great example. And when I remember the first time, yelling at my two year old or something like that, and it was hard I'm going to confess this online, it was hard to swallow my pride and go and apologize to a two year old. Maybe I'm a little prideful, I don't know. But I just remember thinking, shoot, my dad can do it. Surely I can do it, you know that we model that example of, okay, mom isn't perfect, dad isn't perfect. We're going to make mistakes. We too need Jesus in our lives. So, so much. And so we're going to need to repent and ask for forgiveness all the time, too, because we're on our own life's journey. I don't know.
Mike Richards 15:37
Yeah. I feel like the more that I'm willing to admit my mistakes in front of my kids, that they're more willing to come to me and my wife with, you know, things that they they've done, and at least I hope.
Tamara Anderson 15:53
Yeah, well, and I think that's kind of the basis of your poem, right? It's, it's the idea that if I want to see this ripple effect of change in my children, then I need to model it myself. Right? And asking God, okay, what do I need to change? I love that you invite Him in at the beginning of the poem, and you end the day, thanking him for the day, and asking him to be with you. You know, because that's what every day should be. It should be a pattern of involving God at the beginning. And at the end, and everywhere in between, because I don't know it. We're all imperfect. And we need His help.
Mike Richards 16:35
Yep.
Tamara Anderson 16:35
Because Parenting is hard. And the older my kids get, the more complex and difficult if he comes, I don't know.
Mike Richards 16:48
Yeah, no, I totally understand.
Tamara Anderson 16:51
I think my mother in law said, the bigger the kids, the bigger the problems. And I'm like, you know, she was really wise when she said that.
Mike Richards 17:03
Right.
Tamara Anderson 17:04
Anyway, Mike, thank you so much for being willing to share this poem with everyone. We are expecting great things from you. Mike has a book coming up that I'll probably bring him on the podcast again to share all about in the next year or so. So you will be hearing more from my dear friend Mike Richards. Thank you so much, Mike, for coming on today and being willing to share your your story.
Mike Richards 17:29
Thanks, Tamara, I really appreciate the opportunity.
Tamara Anderson 17:34
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Tamara Anderson 18:59
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going when things get Tough remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden and above all else Remember God loves you.