Leisa Watkins: What to Do When It Rains and Pours Problems
Within a period of a few days Leisa’s husband was diagnosed with cancer, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and their daughter went to the hospital. In today’s episode she shares tips on how you get through heavy times with your sanity and even with joy.
Episode Discussion Points
Leisa has had many points in her life where it has both rained and poured problems and complications.
A couple of things she learned during the hard times were the power of positive self talk:
“Leisa, you can make it through the next minute.”
“Leisa, you can make it through the five minutes.”
“Leisa, you can make it through the fifteen minutes.”
Another thing that helped was looking at the big picture—we got through this situation and that situation previously, and we can surely get through this new situation as well.
There is wisdom that comes only by going through tough times.
Focus on the things you can control—like maybe you can’t control when your husband gets hit by a drunk driver, but you can begin to take back control of your life by cleaning out a drawer or some other little thing to create order.
Going through hard times helped her become resilient, and for her resilience is tied to hope.
Change is constant and the sooner you can adapt to it, the easier it is.
We also have to learn to control and change our expectations—because life isn’t going to turn out the way we thought or hoped.
For Leisa acceptance means, “This happened. So now what, what can I do about it? And the only thing you can do is control how you react to it.”
When Leisa was raped as a young woman, she went to a therapist who helped her process all of her emotions and helped her learn it is okay to be angry. So, Leisa learned to process all of her angry emotions out on paper by writing it out in a journal. Then she’d burn the angry words and her anger would dissipate. For Leisa burning the pages is more effective than shredding the pages.
You have to be willing to do the work. Often people feel stuck when they stop working on themselves.
Take baby steps when you don’t know what is the next thing you can do.
If you don’t know the next right step you can ask your brain, if we were pretending we knew what the next right thing was, your brain will fill in ideas.
Sometimes when you are heading for burn out because you are doing too much, you have to pause and take time to breathe and do self-care. You will be better at doing all your other roles if you stop and take a day off now and then.
Choosing to do things “happily or unhappily.”
When you have a negative thought, dismiss it and then counter it with the truth or a positive thought.
Asking the right questions is important when we encounter a difficult situation. If we ask, Why did this happen to me? Then your brain will find answer to it. So be careful to ask more productive questions like:
How do I want to look at this?
How do I want to approach it?
What can I control?
What can't I control?
What can I do?
What can I do about this?
What good things can come out of this?
Another idea is to take photo per day of something you’re thankful for that day.
Tips to Get You Out of a Dark Spot
Ease up on the self-judgment
Give yourself credit for the little steps forward you make.
Take focus off yourself by helping others.
Do self-care. (Leisa’s favorite is to turn on music and dance in the bathroom). Moving physically can actually help you get unstuck mentally.
Do positive self-talk.
Let go and let God be in control. Talk to God if you are struggling to move forward, picture handing your problems over to Christ.
Ask God to help you figure out how to take the next right step for you—especially if you are stuck.
Connect with Leisa
Leisa blogs on her website cultivatinghealthandhappiness.com
There you will find resources, tips and more of her family’s experiences getting through hard times with happiness and joy.
You can also download her Overcoming Obstacles Checklist
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #multiplesclerosis #tips #babysteps #choice #choosetobehappy #outlook #cancer #rape #recover #journaling #heal #selfcare
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
[00:00:00]
[00:00:03] Leisa Watkins: When I was diagnosed and then my husband, you know, he's reading these cancer forums and I'm reading these MS forums and there was just so many people. It just like my life's over! They were suicidal. Just so full of despair. And I thought wow. I mean, how is it they have the same diagnosis as I do? And they just feel like, you know, everything in my life is just done. It's not worth living anymore. And I thought something's got to change.
[00:00:30] Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times all with God's help.
[00:00:48] I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
[00:01:00] Tamara K. Anderson:
[00:01:00] My guest today is an author, speaker and blogger who is passionate about helping others overcome stumbling blocks in life. She is the mother of three grown children and lives in Salt Lake City. With her husband, she loves to travel, do photography and art. I am pleased to present Lisa Watkins. Lisa, are you ready to share your story of hope?
[00:01:23] Leisa Watkins: I am. Thank you for allowing me to come on here as a guest and share it.
[00:01:28] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh, I'm so excited to have you. Lisa and I have been trying to get together for a long time.
[00:01:33] Leisa Watkins: Yes, a couple of years, I think.
[00:01:34] Tamara K. Anderson: So, I think, I think we're glad that we finally picked a date and we're able to make this work, but breaking the ice. Lisa, what is one of the favorite places that you have traveled in your life?
[00:01:47] Leisa Watkins: Oh, my goodness. Each place has some really fun memories. Really love the ocean. So just walking along the beach. San Diego, it's one of my favorite places where I just take off my shoes, walk along the beach.
[00:02:01] Soak in all those good positive ions. Um, and yeah, I just absolutely love it. Probably followed by Zion's National Park, which also has some really good vibes.
[00:02:11] Tamara K. Anderson: Yes it does. I love the beach too. There's something. So relaxing and filling about just sitting there. Now, if you have little children there, it's not always relaxing, especially if your children are running water and stuff like that, but
[00:02:29] Leisa Watkins: I never went with little kids, so
[00:02:33] Tamara K. Anderson: There you go. We lived in Southern California when my kids were little and it was, it was fun to go to the beach. But you know, I've had kids eat sand and, you know, I mean yeah. Chasing them into the water anyway, making sure they don't drown. Right. If you're going for therapy, don't take little kids.
[00:02:59] Leisa Watkins: Exactly. Precisely. Yes. Precisely.
[00:03:04] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh, well, I guess we all need a little self care in our lives and I'm sure we're going to cover that today a little bit, but one of the reasons I've wanted to have Lisa on is her life has been a pattern of when it rains, it pours. And I admire her so much because it seems like she'd get one hard thing and you would think, okay, if somebody gets one hard thing, You know, that is good enough, but she seemed to get multiple hard things like on top of each other.
[00:03:38] And my question to her is first of all, take us back to maybe one of those times when it was pouring in your life. And, and share with us that, but then also share with us how you got through it, what you learned. Because I think we all have moments when life is crazy and we feel completely overwhelmed and we'll be going through a hard thing and then something else will come up and you just kind of want to go, really God?
[00:04:11] Leisa Watkins: I actually have said that.
[00:04:15] Tamara K. Anderson: Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one. So take us back to a time in your life when it was one of those times.
[00:04:24] Leisa Watkins: Right. So, My husband called, at five o'clock in the morning one time. You get that phone call in the middle of the night, you know. I answered the phone and he says this, the police arrived at the house. I'm like, what? And he goes, they're on the way to do notification.
[00:04:38] I was just in an automobile accident hit by a drunk driver.
[00:04:42] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh my
[00:04:43] Leisa Watkins: Okay, taking him to the hospital by ambulance. They says, bring me some pants. They had to cut my pants off. So at this point, I'm driving to the hospital, having no idea. Whether is it going to walk again, you know, all these other things.
[00:04:56] And as it turned out, I mean, he, he was fine, but he was out, ended up being out of work for several months because this car accident. At the same time, my daughter was in the hospital for 30 days with a blood clot. She'd had surgery and she was having the complications and I was dealing with, Some postpartum depression.
[00:05:14] That particular week our power was turned off. Our water was turned off, and our car was repossessed. I mean, it was just like, well, you know so it was like just one thing after another.
[00:05:26] I remember actually just like falling onto the floor and think. God truly, this isn't the way you want me to live. You know, and I knew I had messages that I wanted to help share with people. And I thought, how can I even share my message with anybody if I can't even keep the water on? You know, that type of thing.
[00:05:44] So it was just, um, that point I thought, okay, I've really got a change something so that I can actually, you know, work my way out of this. And so I got really good at, self-talk-- positive self-talk I should say, we always talked to ourselves.
[00:06:01] Tamara K. Anderson: Sometimes that negative self-talk is pretty awful.
[00:06:08] Leisa Watkins: And, many times it was this, it was literally Leisa, you got this. Leisa, you can make it through the next minute. Leisa, you can make it through the next five minutes. You know, oftentimes, I mean, there was, there was weeks at a time where I told myself, you can make it through the next 15 minutes. You can make it through the next 15 minutes. You got this, you know, breathe and that type of thing.
[00:06:32] And when I was trying to focus on, okay, Leisa you can do this and that type of thing and just concentrating on the big picture it was too overwhelming. I just had literally had to break it down to, you've got this for the next 15 minutes.
[00:06:51] You did that. Leisa, you can do it again. You can do it again. So that was really a key to, helping me get through it.
[00:07:01] And, and then realizing that we went through this stuff and we're fine. It's okay. I mean, we're okay.
[00:07:09] Tamara K. Anderson: There, there is a wisdom that comes with experience and, and it seems that we gain that only by going through it. I wish there was some other way seriously.
[00:07:23] Leisa Watkins: Right, right.
[00:07:25] Tamara K. Anderson: I wish there was another way to learn all these big lessons, but you can only learn them by going through them.
[00:07:30] Leisa Watkins: Right.
[00:07:31] Tamara K. Anderson: And I think God knows that and that's why He allows these situations to happen in our lives because they turn us to Him and they help us rely on Him. Because honestly, I don't know about you, but when they happen and it sounds like you were like this, you're not strong enough when it happens.
[00:07:50] Leisa Watkins: Right.
[00:07:52] Tamara K. Anderson: But you gain that strength little by little in those bite-size increments, as you pass through it, it's like it's like exercising or working out. Right, right,
[00:08:03] Leisa Watkins: Right. Yeah. And I think it's really important to that point to actually learn to grasp on the things you can control. You know, I mean, it's, it's so important because I want to think I can control everything, you know, I control this outcome, but, you know, certainly I can control my drunk driver hitting my husband and that type of thing.
[00:08:21] So you really have to kind of grasp onto those things. And sometimes it was simple as, okay my life seems like it's such a chaos. What can I organize? And I would argue. One drawer or something like that, you know, so that I, I would start to take back control when my life felt so out of control to take back and just control the little things that I, that I could.
[00:08:44] Tamara K. Anderson: I like that. That's a really good idea. So, if your life is out of control. with chaos, whatever it is, physical issues, mental health issues, whatever, focus on what you can do. And I love that idea of de-cluttering a drawer or maybe dusting a shelf, or, putting the dishes away. I can control that.
[00:09:13] Leisa Watkins: And it doesn't even have to be the whole drawer. I mean, just organize the teaspoons and, you know, I just do something to make him make it feel like, okay, I do have control over a lot of my life and that, and that was something I had to remind myself often and that was just that act of doing something really helped to remind me of that.
[00:09:34] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh, wow. I love that. That is, that is brilliant. So going through this experience and many after it, it gave you kind of the resilience. Resilience is, seems to be a big buzz word right now. Doesn't it? Um, it gave you resilience. Define resilience from your perspective and share with me some of the lessons you learned along that bumpy pathway, gaining it.
[00:10:04] Leisa Watkins: Right. Right. Well, Resilience to me, it's just being able to, I don't want to say overcome. It's actually like, even in the middle of the chaos or whatever you're going through, resilience is that ability to not get caught up in that pattern of despair and that type of thing.
[00:10:22] And that hope, I mean, to me, it comes down a lot to hope. That yes. Things are happening, but there's always, there's always hope. And I think that that's something that kind of naturally comes along with resilience in a way.
[00:10:38] And I think that, like, one of the things I had to learn is that, you know, change is constant. The sooner I learned to adapt to it, the better off I'm going to be. You know, if I sit there and my fight and I'm just resisting that and you know, like, okay, this isn't going to happen to me, and that type of thing, you're going to be much more miserable, you know? And I had to give up my life would look a certain way.
[00:11:05] We all have this expectations on what your life was going to look like and never did I picture that I would have multiple sclerosis. Never did I picture that I'd have nine miscarriages. I just didn't didn't picture that all of this stuff would happen. I didn't picture myself being raped. I just have to understand, okay, yes, this happened. And acceptance doesn't mean that you're accepting it into your life, that, okay, this is ruined me. You know, it's an acceptance. Okay. This happened. So now what, what can I do about it? And the only thing you can do is control how you react to it. So yeah, you always have a choice at that moment.
[00:11:45] How are you going to react to it? Are you gonna choose to go this way. And there's certainly, there's been days I feel kind of down. But overall, on that diagnosis where we had that, you know, cancer diagnosis and MS diagnosis and everything else, um, I didn't cry. It just was okay. This is just, life right now.
[00:12:02] Tamara K. Anderson: I'm used to this. Okay. But, but let me ask you this, because some of these things, especially rape and stuff like that. That is a lot to mentally process and be able to heal from physically, emotionally. There's the whole aspect of God and forgiveness and all of that. How do you process those crazy emotions when you're going through them?
[00:12:37] Leisa Watkins: Right, right. That one was the hardest one for me to deal with actually. And it was probably because I was younger at the time. I went to a therapist, so to help, help deal with that. And then there's stages of, you know, you go through grief and that type of thing.
[00:12:54] And I actually wasn't even allowing myself to be angry about it, which was interesting, which, which my therapist like, It's okay to be angry. And I mean, of course I had some anger deep down inside of me, but, but I was suppressing that anger. So being able to just write down all the angry thoughts I had and that type of thing. So I think journaling is a big key. I'm a firm believer in writing out the negative thoughts you have. And then I burn them or I shred them
[00:13:20] Tamara K. Anderson: It's therapeutic to burn things, isn't it? Maybe there's a little bit of a pyro in me.
[00:13:27] Leisa Watkins: It is. And then I picture the smoke. There goes the anger in the smoke and it's dissipating. And so I think its very visual. I've shredded it things that it's not quite as effective, I don't think. It's the burning, you know? And so just, Taking steps like that. Being willing to go to therapist, if you need it. Being willing to do the work. Because there's plenty of things that people can do.
[00:13:53] I think it's just where the real problem is, is we feel really stuck as if we stopped doing anything to help ourselves.
[00:14:01] Tamara K. Anderson: So if you're at a place where you're feeling stuck and I've been there and I know you've been there. What would you say is the first step to get unstuck?
[00:14:14] We're going to take a quick break, but when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
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[00:15:14] That he understands us. He loves us, knows what we're going through. And he is more than willing to help us bear that burden. And I love that about this story that it gives not only me hope, but it will convey that sense of hope for all of you. So get your copy of it today. Tamara K anderson.com/. You can order 1, 2, 10, 20, however many you want, and we will get those to you so you can get them distributed.
[00:15:47] All right now on to our show.
[00:15:49] So if you're at a place where you're feeling stuck and I've been there and I know you've been there. What would you say is the first step to get unstuck?
[00:16:02] Leisa Watkins: Sometimes there's even been days where I don't know what the next step is. But I ask myself, what's the next step I could take to get myself out of the situation? And then I do it. Now, sometimes if you don't know what the next step is, I ask myself, well, let's pretend like I knew.
[00:16:19] And in your brain actually will like, oh, okay, we're pretending? And it'll start giving you some ideas. And we're talking about baby steps here. Okay. Baby steps. This is so important.
[00:16:31] After I was dealing with postpartum depression and stuff. My, my house was so overwhelmingly cluttered and that type of thing. I would set an alarm and I'm like, I can clean for 15 minutes. And at first, it was like, I've got to get this whole house clean. And just being able to, set an alarm for 15 minutes, I can do this. Or even at times just organizing and one thing, but I think it's just really important just to take it on-- what's one thing I can do? And it doesn't have to be big.
[00:16:59] It could be breathe, Leisa. Take a deep breath. That could be what it is that, you need to do. So, intuitively we oftentimes know what it is we could do. It's just that we're kind of stuck in this pattern of it, of overwhelm.
[00:17:16] Tamara K. Anderson: Yeah. No, and I've been in that overwhelm pattern many times in my life and I think you're right sometimes. We have to do a little bit of self care in there. Yeah. I'm overwhelmed because I'm not taking care of me. And so I'm going to take some time to breathe, do something for me. Maybe, maybe that's another idea.
[00:17:38] Take 15 minutes. I'm going to take 15 minutes for me and there'll be 15 minutes on the house. Exactly. Right. Or, or the other way you can motivate yourself. I'm going to work on the house for 15 minutes and then I get 15 minutes for me. Yeah. Kind of dangle the carrot in front of yourself.
[00:17:58] Leisa Watkins: Last month I was just going and going and going. And I headed of just pure exhaustion. Absolutely absolutely exhausted. And I had multiple people come to me that day and say, I need your help with this. I need your help with that. And I was so proud of myself because I actually just said, I need to rest. I'm sorry. I recognize that you could use my help right now, but I knew that if I, if I didn't take that step and rest, I was not going to be any good to them the next day or the next day, next day, you know. So self-care is really, really important.
[00:18:33] Tamara K. Anderson: And it's almost like you have to give yourself permission to do it. Yes. Because it's like, especially, I don't know if it's a mom syndrome or a woman's center. I guess I've seen men struggle with that as well. For me, I almost have to give myself permission Tamra. You take this time for yourself, right? And you're a better mom. You're better wife. You're better all these other hats that you wear.
[00:18:55] But I'm no good to them. If I'm completely exhausted and worn out, I have to take care of myself.
[00:19:00] Leisa Watkins: Yeah. I learned that the really hard way.
[00:19:03] Tamara K. Anderson: I think we all do, dang it! Maybe theres some people who can learn it watching others, but I sure wasn't one of them.
[00:19:12] Leisa Watkins: Yeah. I just thought I can do this. I can do this and push, you know, I can do it multiple, multiple marathons, you know?
[00:19:22] Tamara K. Anderson: That is what it feels like, honestly. Oh my, that is, that is really, really true.
[00:19:29] Now you mentioned, as we were preparing for this interview, that there was something about quality of life, a lesson that you learned that revolved around quality of life.
[00:19:42] Leisa Watkins: So, your quality of life is not due to your circumstances. You know, so often we think that if I had this, if I had that, if I wasn't sick. If this event hadn't happened, then my quality of life would be so much better.
[00:19:59] And the quality of your life really is not the circumstances happen to you. It is how you react to the circumstances. So choosing to see the good and things. For example, you know, all the challenges I've gone through, I would not trade any of them, because they made who I am today, but I'm really passionate about helping other people overcome stumbling blocks in life.
[00:20:26] And so those experiences has helped me to realize that the quality of my life is, is different than what I thought. It's wonderful, it really is. You can choose how you're going to react. And that was really what determines your quality of life. It's the thought process, your thinking, not the circumstances.
[00:20:49] So you can be in any type of situation and, and be miserable or you can be happy.
[00:20:57] Tamara K. Anderson: Yeah, that totally reminds me of my dad. When I was younger and we'd have our chores to do. Doing the dishes was like the ultimate worst chore. I don't know why it's not hard. But as a kid, it was like, I don't want to do the dishes! But my dad always used to say, you can do it happily or unhappily, but you will do it.
[00:21:21] Right. And it's the same thing that's a totally dumbed down situation in life, but it applies to these big things in our life. You're going to have multiple sclerosis. You can do it happily or unhappily, but you're going to have it,
[00:21:36] Leisa Watkins: Right. Yeah. When I was diagnosed and then my husband, you know, he's, we're reading these cancer forums and I'm reading these MS forums and there was just so many people. It just like my life's over! They were suicidal. Just so full of despair. And I thought wow. I mean, how is it they have the same diagnosis as I do? And they just feel like, you know, everything in my life is just done. It's not worth living anymore. And I thought something's got to change.
[00:22:03] We gotta change this story that people that we're telling ourselves about these different things. And not that, you know, I don't have negative thoughts ever. That's not the case, you know. But I've also been like when a negative thought floats in my head, I just like, oh, okay, bye.
[00:22:22] I don't dwell on it. I'm not doing that now. If those negative thoughts I've actually told them I'm not doing that now. No, I don't believe that. You know, that type of thing.
[00:22:30] Tamara K. Anderson: So you dismiss it, and counter it with the truth or positive thought.
[00:22:36] Leisa Watkins: Right.
[00:22:37] Tamara K. Anderson: I like that. That is a really amazing thing. And I don't think I understood the power of our thoughts when I was younger. I think people tried to teach me.
[00:22:49] Leisa Watkins: I tried to learn.
[00:22:50] Tamara K. Anderson: Yeah. I think it's something I had to learn along the way. And as I was going through the hard thing, you know, feeling that overwhelm I had to, it's almost like you have to step yourself back and away from the situation and say, okay, this is how I'm feeling.
[00:23:10] Leisa Watkins: Right.
[00:23:10] Tamara K. Anderson: But, is that true? Can I change anything about it? What can I do? Kind of like you were saying before. It's like you have to push the pause button on your emotions and just kind of get a grip on yourself and say, Right. Okay. How do I want to look at this? How do I want to approach it?
[00:23:31] What can I control? What can't I control? What can I do? And I feel it's kind of what you've been saying.
[00:23:38] Leisa Watkins: I love all those questions you just said, because I think the questions you ask yourself are extremely important. Like you can ask yourself, well, why is this happening to me? And then, and then all of a sudden, well, remember when you ran over that cat, oh, you know, with your, you know, whatever those types of things, your brain starts coming up with all these reasons on why you deserve this, you know?
[00:24:02] And so if you ask yourself more powerful questions, what can I do about this? What good things can come out of this? Your brain going look for evidence of that. And, and it's going to come up with things. I just loved that you, you asked five questions right there, because those questions are very, very powerful when you're talking to yourself.
[00:24:21] Tamara K. Anderson: That's true. That's really, really true. And, and you can control what you're thinking. There may not be much else you can, but you can control what goes on in between your ears.
[00:24:35] Leisa Watkins: Right? Yeah. And that's what controls your happiness. I mean, you know, it really comes down to you can't be happy despite life circumstances.
[00:24:49] Tamara K. Anderson: And I can't help, but think of this, this kind of plays this attitude.
[00:24:54] You know, when we're in a tough time, if you're having a hard time being happy, then finding something to be thankful for. It can be super simple that that's even a starting point. If you're struggling to stop the negative thoughts, think of things to be thankful for? Well,
[00:25:15] Leisa Watkins: In the midst of all this, I started taking photographs of one thing I was thankful for everyday.
[00:25:20] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh, I love that idea!
[00:25:24] Leisa Watkins: So I'm actually starting an Instagram channel for it. So it's like, Went for a walk and there was these beautiful rocks. They were incredible colors. So I'm like, I'm thankful for those colors and, and that type of thing. And so just really simple things, just taking a photograph of the blossoms on the tree, on that type of thing.
[00:25:43] Tamara K. Anderson: I like the photograph challenge! That is often awesome. You'll have to give me the link to that and we'll link it in the show notes. I think that would be really fun to find and follow you and the little things that you're thankful for every day.
[00:25:58] So Lisa, we've talked about a whole bunch of amazing thoughts and ideas and lessons you've learned. What tips would you share with somebody who is in a dark spot right now?
[00:26:10] Leisa Watkins: First of all, I'd tell them to ease up on the self judgment. Don't be so hard on yourself. That's really easy to do. So just make sure you're very cautious to not, not judge yourself harshly or anything like that.
[00:26:24] Then give yourself credit for, for progress, no matter how small it is. For example, when I'm walking around the track, I do one lap. I pat myself on the back. Good job, Leisa. And I will walk into room and I'm like, okay, this looks like chaos. I'll put away three things or I'll even put one thing away and say, good job, Leisa you're making progress. just give yourself credit. We don't give ourselves credit all the time.
[00:26:49] Tamara K. Anderson: No, we don't.
[00:26:50] Leisa Watkins: And this one I think is very helpful is to take your focus off of yourself by helping others. And it doesn't have to be anything big. We had a friend who serves the homeless under the viaduct, and I keep thinking every Sunday I'm going to go down and help him.
[00:27:06] But there's no way at this point in my life that I could have done that. I was just dealing with so much stuff, but I, but what I could do is Take advantages opportunities. Like I was a gas station and there was somebody there whose credit card was declined and they were trying to buy a hot dog and a drink. And so I'm like, here, let me get that for you. You know?
[00:27:28] Or when you're interacting with people at the store to smile. And that type of thing. And so that just taking your focus off of yourself and help put it on others really can help you during those times, and it doesn't have to be big.
[00:27:41] Tamara K. Anderson: I love that. It can even be a text.
[00:27:45] Leisa Watkins: Yes, exactly. Hey, I am thinking about you!
[00:27:47] We talked about making self-care a priority. Um, that's that is really important.
[00:27:53] Tamara K. Anderson: What is one of your favorite self-care things too?
[00:27:57] Leisa Watkins: I love to dance really. And so I will put on music and I'll go to the bathroom at I'll just move for a little bit. And I think that's also key when you're feeling kind of stuck in the situation to move a little bit. So that, that is, that is something I love to do.
[00:28:17] Tamara K. Anderson: Oh, I love that. You know, whats interesting, one of my kids, uh, did a little bit of therapy and the therapist taught us, that when you feel stuck, if you physically move your body, it helps get things moving. Not only processing things physically, but mentally as well. It helps you. Get unstuck. Do you know what I mean? So I can see how, if you don't want to walk outside on a track, go dance in your bathroom like Leisa.
[00:28:44] Leisa Watkins: Exactly. And I even like, we'll put it in ear buds, so nobody even knows. You know, I mean, not that I dance in front of other people too. But it was funny cause I was walking through Primary Children's Hospital one time and I thought, every day I'm going to do something that makes me feel uncomfortable a little bit.
[00:29:01] And there's this little girl that was like, there was music playing. And she was dancing so I went over and started dancing with her. it was so fun. I mean, it's like, I was so glad I didn't dismiss that, you know?
[00:29:13] And then again, Get really good at that positive self-talk. That's just so important. It's gonna get you through those times. That's probably the, the most important thing actually.
[00:29:28] Tamara K. Anderson: Yeah, I agree. And if you're struggling with any of these things, don't be ashamed to talk to God about it and say, dear God, I am struggling with negative thoughts. I need you to help me learn how to change them into positive thoughts.
[00:29:43] I need some help learning how to stop being so judgmental of myself, right. Help me to learn how to do that. Because God is awesome about helping us in our unique situation. And because we are so unique and different from everybody else, He can help us do it in the way that's perfect for us.
[00:30:02] Leisa Watkins: Right. In fact, actually, that's one of the things too that I, um, that helped me during these times is I had actually pictured myself handing my problems over to Christ. I just like, I am too overwhelmed. I can't deal with all this. And here. And that, that was just the sense of relief that comes from that and letting you know, basically letting God be in control.
[00:30:31] Tamara K. Anderson: Which he is anyway.
[00:30:32] Leisa Watkins: Right, right.
[00:30:33] Tamara K. Anderson: I just have an illusion of control here. The older I get, the more I realize that yeah.
[00:30:38] Leisa Watkins: The more you fight against that, you know, the more miserable you'll be.
[00:30:44] Tamara K. Anderson: I know. Well, those were amazing tips. I love that. Ease up on self judgment. Give yourself credit for what you do. Serve in some little way. Change how you look at life circumstances, make self-care a priority and give yourself good, positive. Self-talk I just thought I'd reinforce one more time.
[00:31:05] Leisa Watkins: Thank you.
[00:31:05] Tamara K. Anderson: And then turn your burdens over to God.
[00:31:07] Leisa Watkins: Yes. Yes, exactly.
[00:31:09] Tamara K. Anderson: So in the midst of all this Leisa, has there been a Bible verse that has become like your go-to, I need to read this frequently verse?
[00:31:18] Leisa Watkins: Yeah. The phrase that came to my mind the most was this too shall pass, but that's really not even a Bible verse. But I found comfort in it, thinking that it was. But Isaiah 41: 10, "Fear not for, I am with thee." it goes on further but that beginning of that Bible verse was key in knowing that, okay. Yes. I'm going through all these things. Yes. It's hard. But I don't need to fear, you know, God's with me. So
[00:31:49] that's is powerful. And it's a good thing to remember. Don't fear. God is with me. Don't fear. You can even repeat that mantra.
[00:32:02] Tamara K. Anderson: That is awesome. Wow. Well, Lisa, this has been so amazing. Thank you so much for diving in and sharing how you have been able to build resilience, and turn your fear into hope by just doing little tiny things to get through the situation and then changing your mindset about so many amazing things. This has been amazing.
[00:32:28] There's going to be people who are going to want to connect with you. And I know you blog, would you mind sharing us where you blog, what you do and where they can connect with you?
[00:32:39] Leisa Watkins: So my site is called cultivating health and happiness.com and it's where I share resources on how to cultivate more health, happiness, and joy in life, actually.
[00:32:53] I have resources, thoughts, and more all designed to help you do that. And I have an overcoming obstacles checklist that is available there for you to download.
[00:33:03] And it has a list of different tips you can do when you're dealing with stuff that happens in life.
[00:33:09] Tamara K. Anderson: Ooh, I need that list. Oh, that sounds amazing. Well, we'll be sure to point people to your website and I'll put a link of it in the show notes so people can access it more easily. Cultivating health and happiness.com.
[00:33:25] That is awesome. Thank you so much for being willing to share this, for sharing your happiness for sharing your joy. You're an inspiration to me and I'm thankful I haven't had to go through all of your challenges and that you've shared with me the wisdom that you've learned in spite of all that.
[00:33:44] Leisa Watkins: Well, thank you for having me. I'm very grateful that I am able to help others through a medium like this. And thank you for doing this.
[00:33:52] Tamara K. Anderson: Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast.
[00:34:11] If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show. Please visit my website, stories of hope, podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show the transcript. And one of my favorite takeaways, you know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them.
[00:34:34] Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really, really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on with the strength to keep going. When things get tough, remember to walk with Christ and he will help you bear the burden and above all outs.
[00:34:59] Remember, God loves you.