Kenneth Earl: How a Naval Cryptologist's Mom Changed the World
Kenneth Earl may not have had the best start in life, but like the sun he learned the foundational principles he needed to rise—all due to his angel mother.
Episode Discussion Points
We discussed what being a naval cryptologist means
How his mother influenced His life with a lot of love—even though she was a single mom
She was a great example of strength, courage and integrity
Treat people like they want to be treated
Prayed all the time and loved the Psalms
Because she worked so hard Kenneth didn’t know how poor they were
She made a way out of no way
She inspired each of her children to succeed
She taught her children to pray—which came in handy when he was stranded on a roof and in trouble.
His mother helped lay the foundation which helped him be successful
What inspired him to write his book—he realized he owed his mother—and he wanted to honor his mother.
No matter where you come from in life, if you partner with God you can achieve and become your best self—overcoming all obstacles in your way.
Here are some of the Life Lessons he “cracked”
A mother’s wisdom is indisputable.
Character and integrity is worth something.
Mistakes and failures should be options for growth— And the story of him praying for an angel after being stranded on the roof. Lesson—when you fall, learn and get up.
You can’t buy peace of mind
Overcoming and defeating yourself is freedom—meaning you have try to be the best version of yourself.
No matter what you do in life, no one can beat you at being you. “Be who you are, or who God made you to be.”
Unhappiness and frustration are unproductive
Favorite Bible Verse
Philippians 4:13 “ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Connect with Kenneth
Website: Illegitimate-sun.com
Buy his book, Illegitimate Sun: How a Naval Cryptologist Cracked the Code of Life Lessons
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #change #become #mother #tribute #lessonslearned #navalcryptologist
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
Kenneth Earl 0:00
I titled this book illegitimate son for a reason. You know, the sun rises. You know, and raising four children without a father in the house, you know, back then we were characterized as illegitimate. I want anyone to feel that maybe, maybe, maybe the luck wasn't on their side, maybe it was born on the side of the track. Or maybe there's some other limitation to what it is that you have in mind. That shouldn't stop you being the best version of who you are.
Tamara Anderson 0:34
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 0:59
My guest today was born in an impoverished neighborhood in Columbia, South Carolina and might never have left Cherry Street if it weren't for his mother's inspiration. Determined to make his mom proud and her sacrifices meaningful, he embarked on a world wide journey of military service, secret communications and international espionage. His book, illegitimate son is a true spy memoir of overcoming a difficult life start to serve his country and work in top CIA, FBI and military counterintelligence, and with law enforcement officials in the spy world. Motivational and inspiring this incredible story of a mother's wisdom, self discipline, triumph and intrigue will help you crack the code to life's most important lessons. I'm pleased to present Kenneth Earl Kenneth, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Kenneth Earl 2:00
Yes, I am tomorrow. Looking forward to this and looking forward to the interview. So absolutely.
Tamara Anderson 2:06
Oh, well, this is going to be so fun. And I'm just really excited that you could come on and, and share this not only memoir to your mother, but how it life took you on this crazy journey. So first, let me just ask you this. You are a naval cryptologist. First of all, what is that? And what led you to that field?
Kenneth Earl 2:28
Well, good question. And I gotta honestly admit, when I was recruited by the naval recruit the Navy recruiter, I didn't know what was on it. So I will. I will explain that and for your audience as well. So obviously, you know, I joined the military, when I was in high school was my senior year in high school, and my two best friends or two of my friends from high school that joined the Navy. And, you know, I was an athlete in high school and didn't get an athletic scholarship, and I needed to figure out what I wanted to do.
Kenneth Earl 2:57
And I tell I spoke with my basketball coach, and he said, Hey, Craig, you know, I'm an Army veteran. You can join the military, learn to trade, get an education, serve your country, travel the world and play basketball. He said yes. So then after that conversation, I ran into my best friend. And we had this conversation, they told me to join the navy. Long story short, I met with the recruiter, he gave me what they call an ASVAB test and some basic aptitude tests. And I took the test. And I did pretty well. And then he said, Hey, you did pretty well. And you want to take another test for languages. And as a and I said, Sure, not not a problem. I took another test. It's called the DLAB. It's a Defense Language Aptitude Battery. And it's a test to test your ability to learn foreign languages. Apparently, I did well on that, too.
Kenneth Earl 3:49
So months later, I find myself at the join the Navy at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, California, but was signed up to be a Russian linguist. What the heck, what is that? And then they put me in Korean. And after eight months, I got reclassified as a cryptologic. technician communications. So you ask the question, what is a cryptologic? Yes, well, cryptology is the study of cryptograms. And secret codes and messaging. So the short of it is this is within the military and within and within our government, you know, we have in order to protect our communications, we have to encrypt them. So it's just almost taking a plain conversation like we're having today. And you use technology and other, you know, other methods to scramble those messages. And then on the other side, you decrypt them. And what I did for 21 and a half years was to protect those, you know, secret or classified communications, and whether that was supporting submarines, aircraft or special operations, or even some of the class in this time level word. That's what I did. And
Tamara Anderson 4:57
that's really cool. That's really neat. So let me ask You kind of a follow up question to that. How did growing up on Cherry Street? What did that look like for you? And and how did your mom influence that life that you have led so fully? Now?
Kenneth Earl 5:15
Oh, just this lots of love. My mother was a single mother of four children. She was born in the Depression era 1937 and in the segregated south, Jim Crow era, and she became pregnant with my older brother at age 17. She had to drop out of high school, so she ended up getting a general education diploma. And then my other brother came, and then my sister and myself. So she had four children at a very young age, in the segregated south, with no real, you know, formal education in terms of anything but you know, general education diploma, which is back, but she never went on and had any advanced advanced degree.
Kenneth Earl 5:57
So how did how, what did that look like? Yeah, I don't think I can tell you, it was just a lot of love and a lot of praying. And she was a definite, my mother was highly intelligent. It's just that, you know, those times were very hard for someone raising children, but she wanted a better life for all. So she was a great example of strength, courage. And what I can say is integrity. And that's what she wanted. Well, all of us.
Kenneth Earl 6:23
And she worked really hard. She started off as a cook in the kitchen, and she worked her way up and be a top, a top nurses age were nurse's aide, where she garnered the respect of veterans who were going to Veterans Hospital for 40 years. So the veterans, the nurses and the doctors to mirror what was so amazing about her. Those folks that had advanced degrees and families and better lives, they sought her out for her wisdom, she was so neatly smart. And that's what it was like. So she just wanted the best for us hard work, dedication, treat people like you want to be treated. She was a lover of Psalms.
Kenneth Earl 7:02
And one of her favorite Psalms was Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd. She prayed all the time. And so I didn't know that we were kind of growing up or because she we always ate, I could tell you that I was never hungry, that's for sure. But we did not really realize, you know, our state of being until I finally left left South Carolina, like, whoa, you know, and I really saw the economic challenges that we've had, I've seen poverty around the world.
Kenneth Earl 7:29
And I won't say it's anything close to what we may have seen Indian and other third world countries, like India is third world, but they have some aspects of that. And but I didn't realize growing up at those times was that tough, because she made a way out of no way. And I can tell you is because I'm a believer in God and, and in Christ, and she prayed a lot. So growing up was a lot of discipline, a lot of treat people like you want to be treated, and just a lot of life lessons.
Kenneth Earl 8:00
Oh, that is that is such a beautiful tribute to your mom and, and her determination to do her best. And that God opened doors for her. And I think I think that's the neat thing about sometimes when you're at rock bottom, you're like, I don't know how I'm gonna get through this that God sees away. And as long as you keep connected with him, he kind of helps guide your path, you know, for her it was getting her GED and moving on up and being able to serve veterans and and just being able to provide for her family. What what an inspirational woman!
Kenneth Earl 8:35
It was. You Yeah. And I have to say, you know, and she worked hard. And you see if you can see in the background here, this is the wooden house we stayed in, or Cherry Street is no longer there. Cherry Street is still there. And the neighborhood is still relatively the same from an economic perspective. But she worked really hard and in 1968, at five years old. So there about some time after this photo, we moved up a Cherry Street and she moved us out of that neighborhood to build us you move to a better neighborhood she worked up save enough money to do that, because that's what did she worked really hard.
Kenneth Earl 9:10
And seeing that was definitely inspiring for all of our children. My older two brothers one, the oldest one went into the US Air Force and did 24 years. My second brother, he went to the US Army where he was a tough soldier. My sister went to college and almost no other struggle to put her through. But you know, I was the last one and I ended up going into the Navy, US Navy spent 21 years currently in the federal government did very, very well in the military. I can say to you something ironic that I discovered when I was writing this book, illegitimate son as you in I Am I realized when I left home, I was 17 that she was 17 when she had my brother and someone had asked me like, you know What was that? Like when you told you was going off to the military? How did she feel? You know, one thing I can say was, and I remember and I reflected on it, Tamara that she was happy. And I was like, you know, and I was happy to I was happy to leave, right. But she was really happy. But what didn't dawn on me at that time was she has spent her whole basketball say to her whole life from age 17, raising four children. So at the same age that I'm off shipping off and the last kid out of the house, we come on empty, but with a empty bedroom center with
Tamara Anderson 10:32
Empty nester
Kenneth Earl 10:34
An empty nester, so I didn't even register at that time, because I was thinking that's my mom, right. But she's thinking, now I can have my life so much into the veterans and raising four children. So you know, at first I was like, well, she was just happy, I was leaving, not not so much as much, she was probably happy to get our life back. And that being said, I can say this, I can really to truly credit her and a lot of the mentors and, and different folks that have come in my life to to help me to be where I'm at today.
Kenneth Earl 11:06
But the foundation for that was based upon her integrity and her wisdom, and her character. And if there's one thing that I've taken from her is that, you know, having good personal being a good character, you know, treat others like you want to be treated, we remember the golden rule, all those basic things. And I can say fundamentally, you know, having those early lessons, has really put me in a position. It wasn't the education that I obtained, or people I've met. It's just those fundamental things that she ingrained in me.
Kenneth Earl 11:36
And I just want to say this real quick. I cracked 10 codes. And that's the book says The subtitle was how a naval cryptologist cracked the code of life lessons. And remember a cryptologist crack codes, right? Yeah, the life codes. One of them was a mother's wisdom is indisputable. And that was the last of the 10 ones. And what I discovered through my life, that a mother can influence good, bad or indifferent, is very, very powerful thing and not having a father in homes. You know, I mean, I discovered that I don't know if other folks can appreciate that. But if it wasn't for our mothers and our fathers, of course, we would not be here on this earth. And I felt like before I left this earth, I needed to do something to honor her. And I hope I get a chance to tell you what inspired that at some point.
Tamara Anderson 12:26
Yeah, tell me tell me what inspired you writing this book? Because obviously, she was so influential in your life. Yeah. So tell me the story behind the book.
Kenneth Earl 12:35
I was reflecting on my life. And you know, never, you know, you haven't gotten married. I've never had kids. I've had a wonderful life. I've traveled the world. I did everything my basketball coach said I would. And I was just reflecting on my life. And, and I was thinking like, oh, you know, if I were to, you know, unfortunately passed today, what would be left? And I was the only thing I could think of and I said, Well, you know, what if I passed and my siblings and my nephews and nieces that can get, you know, the assets that I have? And in my house shallow, right? That's all I mean, I'm gonna be left with just okay. There's an inheritance going to nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters. So I was thinking in the context of finances, right? That's it has to be more than that.
Kenneth Earl 13:22
And then I was thinking along with finances, well, I don't owe anyone anything. I don't have any debt. I don't owe anyone. And then I thought, well, yes, I do. I owe the lady who gave me like, I owe her. And then I'm thinking, Well, how do I repay her, so to speak, and I said, I'll write a book. I'll write a book that I have a legacy that will honor her. And when you open the book, and the dedication is a picture of her right there. And it just says, you know, sunrise, the sunset, and it shows her a beautiful picture of her. And it talks about and I'll just read what it says dedication, to honor my mother.
Kenneth Earl 14:02
I wrote this book to give back what was given to me, the legacy of her parent. And that's something that she gave me. And that's something that my nieces and nephews and sisters and brothers and friends and family, people that have loved her and always cherish and this book of going forever, that money will be spent. So that's what really made me say, I'm doing this, because at the end of the day, you know, they said every man should you know at least have a son, pilot tree or write a book. I never had any kids. I think I planted a tree in school. But I wrote the book and it's probably the best thing I have ever done. In my life. If you asked me, Craig, what's your greatest accomplishment? honoring my mother because she was one terrific, fantastic human being. I can't wait one day to To see her when that time comes. And that's what this was about.
Tamara Anderson 15:06
That is what an incredible story behind the story, right? Yes, yes. And it's true that it's interesting that stories are what influence people, right that her life and example influenced you. And now you can share those same stories with others, right? So tell me, what were some of the other codes that you cracked as far as life goes? And some of the stories behind cracking those codes for you? Oh, wow.
Kenneth Earl 15:37
Well, let me tell you, thank you for asking. You're talking about character and integrity? Yes, each chapter of the book is a story. So they're independent stories, like, you know, almost like songs, new issues alone, learn of songs. And it shows the trials and tribulations of this kid growing up through life, right and interesting. So one of them was no character and integrity is worth something. Now, I think in today's age, I just thought it was important to do that. Because you know, we live in a world of myths and disinformation.
Kenneth Earl 16:06
And, you know, people aren't always truthful. But you know, I told I'll tell you this. My mother had me believing as a kid that only bad people tell lies. To and I'm serious. So she taught me like, Craig, if you've ever if you ever you ever been in trouble for lying, or stealing, I'm not if you go to jail, I'm not going to ever visit you. I mean, I mean, and I know that they'll sound too good, too sophisticated. But what I want you to know is it worked, right? And I don't know how you, you know, keep your kids and, you know, along those lines, that's how she did it. Okay, so character integrity was one of those codes is worth something, I think people need to understand that despite what happens on the internet, and what happens in life, you have to have good character and have good integrity, because it is worth so another one, which is huge.
Kenneth Earl 16:57
And I heard one of your guests speak about this mistakes and failures should be options for growth. That's what that's one of the codes. And what I discovered is some of the best lessons I have learned is from some of the mistakes and some of the things that I felt, it's just not staying here. So I think a lot of folks, particularly join the military, I was taught, failure is not an option ingrained in your head and you're afraid to make mistakes. But what I've discovered is that that is probably some of the world's best teachers.
Tamara Anderson 17:26
So can you give me an example from your life, or perhaps the life of your mom, where you had something that you were able to learn from?
Kenneth Earl 17:36
Yeah, I will tell you, there's a chapter in the book. And, you know, it's not the most it's not the proudest moment here that I had about mistakes and failures. You know, I was I was I was 17 years old, coming from South Carolina, when in the military travel to California, I've never seen anything like it, right. And I, you know, at age 18, I turned 18. While I was in the military, I gotten into a, a, let's just call it a conflict or confrontation with a young man. And I didn't go and tell anyone that following week I saw him and, you know, out of fear, I kind of, you know, took matters into my own hands. And I ended up getting into some trouble. And I'm not I'm not proud of this Tamara, but it's in the books, I'm going to share it with you.
Kenneth Earl 18:21
When the authorities came, I found myself running and I get on top of a building for five hours at night. And they had a manhunt going on some some other movie. Oh, the guy could do was pray. And this is a part I know you appreciate. And I prayed to God that He would send me an angel because I am in trouble. And I did not want to be sent home and not make my mother proud. And I said God if you please get me out of this situation. And sure enough, I turned myself in and you know, went through a process. And and I met this Marine Corps Gunny sergeant. He was he was a Vietnam veteran with a raspy voice. I described him in the book.
Kenneth Earl 19:05
And this man, I told him the story of what happened. And he said, You know what, I really understand why you did what you did. But you can't take matters into your own hands. And that's was your mistake. You should have went and told what happened to you instead of you know, taking it on. But he thought because of my good character and a kid that I was I was a kid at that time. Even greater than he embraced me. He went to bat for me, my instructor at that time, he went to bat for me, and I went through this process. And in all the, all the charges, the military charges were just dropped. And they talked about the potential that this young man had.
Kenneth Earl 19:49
And from that day on, I went from what we call E one e nine, that's the highest ranking listed that you can go up to only one point only one 1% of the military Get to that rank. And I just turned my life around. And the reason why I share that, but that chapter on mistakes and failures is because I had made that mistake.
Kenneth Earl 20:10
But I had been given another chance. And I took full advantage of that, and sometimes is making those mistakes and not staying here is there but also to, you know, I did pray to God, they helped me and that angel that he sent me was that Marine Corps Gunny sergeant. So, I think the lesson and the takeaway from that is to, you know, if you make a mistake, just don't stay there stand up and be a person of good character.
Kenneth Earl 20:33
We all want to make mistakes, whether it's a situation like I this drive, which was very dramatic, and I was trying to be dramatic. But the truth is, there's small things too, that will sometimes get us down or to be me something to spell on a test. Or someone you know, maybe just the mistakes that we just make, we just can't stay in those things. It's not the falling down. It's the not getting up from those things. And so I think that's the takeaway from that. And hopefully that was useful.
Tamara Anderson 21:04
Oh, it is and, and I love how you prayed for an angel. You know what I mean?
Kenneth Earl 21:09
I did yes indeed.
Tamara Anderson 21:10
And God answered you, in a way, you probably wouldn't have seen that guy initially and thought, here's my angel, right?
Kenneth Earl 21:17
Yes, yes, it was. Me, He gave me a hard time now. I mean, he didn't like the fact that, you know, when you're young, you just don't know how to negotiate problems. And I think that's another takeaway, if you kind of look at the part of that chapter, it's kind of like describing a new full 17 year old coming from Cherry Street. Now he's in the military and you know, now in life, you can't use you can't take the matters into your own hands. Sometimes you got to use your intellect, you got to be smart, you got to be above those things.
Kenneth Earl 21:47
And that was the lesson was okay, you know, find other ways to negotiate these things and, and likes I don't think I could think to do on top of that roof was prayed because there was nowhere to run. And they couldn't find me. So I was left with God is that God have been teaching us to pray, she made us get on my knees every night. And I remember, you know, I have memories of being on the side of the bed with my sister, like that you see here is praying, you know, you know, how you lay me down to sleep, you know. And so I remember all those things. And those were those lessons that she taught and ingrained in us.
Tamara Anderson 22:24
It's interesting how those lessons that mothers teach us come back at just the right time, just the right moment. I know there's a verse in the Bible, I think it's in the Old Testament, where it talks about Train up a child in a way they should go on when they're old they won't depart from it. and I think some so many times mothers beat themselves up, oh, my kid made this bad decision. My kid made this bad decision. But I think the point that you're making here is Yeah, kids are going to make bad decisions. But what what mothers teach comes back into their mind at the right time. Exactly, you know, to kind of inspire them. And and when you're on those, I'm stuck on a roof moment. Remember to turn to God. Right?
Kenneth Earl 23:12
Exactly. That's the metaphor. And that's, you know, people, folks and friends that have read that book, they understand it. And the truth is, I'm just telling you, it was those fundamental things that allowed me to, you know, ascend to where I'm at right now. It wasn't a degree it wasn't here. Of course, those things contribute to it. But I'm saying the fundamental foundation is what my mother had established. And I'm telling you, a mother's wisdom is indisputable. better and different. It is going to have an impact on that child.
Tamara Anderson 23:42
Oh, absolutely. So moms out there, do your best. Yes. And trust that God will help your kid figure out the rest.
Kenneth Earl 23:52
Exactly. Exactly. Hope they get those messages, right.
Tamara Anderson 23:56
No, absolutely. That's fantastic. Yeah. Now now take me through your career and some of the other life codes that you are able to crack.
Tamara Anderson 24:05
We're going to take a quick break. But when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
Tamara Anderson 24:14
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Tamara Anderson 25:49
Yeah, now, now take me through your career and some of the other life codes that you're able to crack.
Kenneth Earl 25:56
Yeah, thank you. I mean, you can't buy peace of mind. So obviously, when I retired, I spent 21 in the US and a navy went from, you know, the lowest listed rank to the highest and I retired, that joined the federal government start working in the intelligence community doing some very special things. And what I can say to you is through that process, like I said, you came by peace of mind. And I think, you know, through the trials and tribulations of dealing with people and you know, worldly global things, you know, oftentimes it kind of get, it comes back to us and not. And I realized that if, you know, if you gotta be the best version of yourself, you have to really do the work on yourself. And I was always striving to have peace of mind trying to have peace. And I just found out you came by, and it's not something it's not a commodity, it's something that you really have to do work on.
Kenneth Earl 26:48
And along those same lines, I put overcoming and defeating yourself as freedom, what I've discovered is you have to really focus on trying to just be the best version of yourself. If you were to ask me, you know, am I, you know, am I there yet, I'm still not there yet. I'm still, you know, striving to be a better version. Hopefully, I'll be better tomorrow than I was yesterday. But I really do think that we have to spend time, you know, whether that's praying to God or focusing on on our own development, but, and one thing about peace of mind. There's a quote in here, and I just want to read this to you.
Tamara Anderson 27:23
Yeah, please
Kenneth Earl 27:24
see this is anonymous. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts. And I think that's so powerful. You want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts. So we might think it's those external things dozen times that's bothering us. And it is, those are real. Sometimes that could be a symptom, it could just be a sign of things. But I really do think if we want real peace, we got to stop fighting with how we think I've come to that. And I think I have, I won't call it perfect peace. But I understand how to, you know, get that peace, because that starts with who I am.
Tamara Anderson 27:59
Can you pull one of your life stories into that, perhaps and share how, how maybe you weren't feeling peace because of a certain situation, how you were able to kind of change your thoughts or conquer your inner demons to be able to find peace?
Kenneth Earl 28:17
So many, I'll just share one that came to mind. I worked in an office where we deal with what we call, you know, counterintelligence, or kind of espionage. You know, dealing with spots. I mean, real life, okay. And it was fun. coming to work every day tomorrow. It was like going to Howard was the best trained spies in this world. And I'm not, I know, you probably got a pinch yourself right now. But yeah, it's so cool. That's what it was like for me. And it was so much fun because I did the cryptologic work, and did all this other stuff before working there. But this was different, because I was doing what we call a human intelligence. And so it was fun at first and you got to a point where I started getting a little paranoid. I would come to work, I'll just tell you this.
Kenneth Earl 29:08
I came to work one day, and it was early and I came in my office, I had my own office, and I found myself, like looking into sillens for cameras. And I found myself looking on my desk for bugs. Now you might say, well, Craig, you know, you're kind of losing it. Not really. Okay. Because we kind of leave it at that. I had good reason to to, I wasn't imagining and then in the story, I mean, the book has an all detailed or what how it led up to that. But what I would say to you is at that moment, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, like this is not normal. This is not normal, and I wasn't having pizza. I was having a lot of like what is going on? I didn't know how to discern remember I was taught that the a person of integrity a person of the character, so why Am I in my job worrying about these kinds of things. And to that degree I had, I was very, very, I didn't have a lot of peace, didn't sleep?
Kenneth Earl 30:10
Well. It was part of the job. It was just something that just didn't cut well with me, in terms of, you know, what it is, I didn't have a, I didn't have an intellectual challenge with what we're doing to protect this country. Right. Right. Right. But not that I'm out. I love that I still do similar kind of work now. But what I'm saying to you, I didn't have peace with, you know, some of the things that I was seeing, and I started experiencing it myself. So, you know, the short of it is, you know, I said, if I'm gonna have that peace of mind, I needed to do something to change.
Kenneth Earl 30:46
And I took myself out of that environment. And, and I wrote something at the end of that, and I put, I had lost my mother. And my last love, I was not going to lose my mind. And, you know, to that extent, remember to how we think, you know, it influences what we do. And I found another place of employment, okay, that I didn't get promoted out of that. But that experience, right of just knowing and it was a good experience, it wasn't all bad. It was just that that's where that whole thing about peace of mind came. And then I started doing I did a lot of self reflection. And I do kind of talk about that I started focusing on what is success? What is what am I striving, what am I trying to do, so I had to just kind of reassess my life. And so I just did a lot of self reflection, I did a lot of, I started focusing on if I'm being honest, I started focused on Maslow's triangle of needs. And that's where the hierarchy of needs, and
Tamara Anderson 31:49
tell me what those are for the people who don't know.
Kenneth Earl 31:52
Okay, so That's like self actualization. So at the bottom of that pyramid, you know, or that hierarchy, there's, there's food, water shelter, so all of us in order to have life, we have to, you know, we have to eat, we have to agree with them, or those those basic things that maybe a parent may give to a child, or even a grow on them. So those are things that you have to have, if you don't have water or food, you're not going to survive. So as you move up that hierarchy, at the next level, now you're talking about, you know, housing, shelter, you know, you're now you're talking about, you know, your self esteem, your your, the things that makes you who you are, and then you get to the top of that is hot self actualization.
Kenneth Earl 32:33
So I'm actually looking at this, so you go this, the physiological needs at the bottom, in this, the safety needs, that's the housing the parents, and stuff over you, the social needs, so the stuff we need for social stuff, and then you have your esteem, at the top is actualization. So I already had all those things covered at the bottom of that pyramid. So once I got really the when I got the Esteem part down, then I'm at that top where we're focused on actualization, and that is living up to your greatest potential right now.
Kenneth Earl 33:04
Now, obviously, I grew up from a praying mother, so I often prayed, but I did a lot of self reflection, a lot of meditation, a lot of that, and, and it's just so interesting when you start reflecting on the Bible, and some of the things that some of the stories in the Bible, you know, which I didn't draw a lot of, you know, spiritual, religious aspects of it. But all those things, kind of get back to those things, you know, and I hear that, you know, God is inside of us, right. And I think as you reflect on being the best version of yourself and actualizing, as your greatest potential, somehow know that you're going to do what to connect those dots. So I will say the shorter the story is, what did I do, I focused on being the best version of myself, I stop trying to, you know, not to please others.
Kenneth Earl 33:56
But I focused on one of the codes that like Craig said, no matter what you do in life, no one can beat you at being you. So tomorrow focused on trying to be the best version of who I was not trying to, you know, be that through the top spy or be this personal, be that person, be who you are, who God made us to be. And one of them, I got to share this one with you. And I know you would appreciate this.
Kenneth Earl 34:21
One of the other codes I cracked was one happiness and frustration on production. And what I was doing my time of reflection, I thought about all the times where I would be unhappy and frustrated, and things of that nature. And I realized that, you know, it's just not productive to be that. So I try not just like mistakes and failure. You just don't want to stay there in the mistake and stay there in a failure. You don't want to stay in that unhappy because all that stuff is still internal and is no happiness is not going to come from him. So you can't go buy happiness. Can't go buy peace of mind, you know, shared a story about my sister and I opened up a store and we just felt put a sign out there called peace of mind. We figured, like if we do that people come running to the door without to put nothing in the store because everybody wants it. And it's the same thing with being unproductive and unhappy.
Kenneth Earl 35:16
And I'm starting to learn that happiness is a skill, right? It's something that we can practice. And again, it's all about how we how we might think and reflect on stuff. So I can say, writing this book really has helped me to, you know, analyze my life, and to just reflect on steps that I can do to just try to be a better person.
Tamara Anderson 35:40
Oh, it does. And, and if I could just pull on some of the lessons that you shared there. Yeah. When you're in a bad spot, and you're feeling unsettled, to remove yourself from the situation, to do some self reflection and and decide if you're feeling those negative feelings. Have some prayers, have some maybe journal a little bit, meditate, figure out, okay, I don't want to stay where I am. How do I change that. And what's cool about that is, is that God will guide us to figure out what exactly we need to do in our particular situation, because it's going to look different for all of us. Not all of us are in the Navy, you know. And so he guided you to do exactly what you needed to do, just like he's gonna guide each and every one of us to take the next right step for us. But I like that concept of, of sometimes we have to move past our own demons to defeat those, those negative self, that ourself now paranoia, and just say, Okay, let's focus on the truth and, and happiness and progression reaching our best self?
Kenneth Earl 36:53
Yes, yes, I gotta tell you, you know, you had asked me early on, you know, what was one of my favorite passages in the Bible, and I said, Philippians, 4: 13, or 13, and says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and, you know, strengthens me, I can do all things. You know, it's not, I mean, obviously, our parents, our influencers, relationships, husbands, wives, doctors, you know, clergy, all of us can help influence and shape those things. But that strip is going to come from him to you, not through someone else, you know, the validation has to start with yourself. I mean, we have to validate ourselves, we have to love ourselves, so we can love others, love them clean with a clean heart, and things of that nature. And all I can say to you is this, if I would have figured this out long time ago, I wouldn't have had to go that route, you know, but all of that. I mean, all of those things that we go through in life, you know, they they shape, they shape who we become.
Kenneth Earl 37:58
And I'm convinced I'm convinced through the my 58 years of life, that I'm convinced that no one can beat us and being us. So we focus on this being that best version that's through the Bible that, you know, in your own relationship with God or even others. I'm just glad that I've had the good fortune, come here and share with you this story. And I hope is very meaningful to you and your listeners. And I hope it will.
Tamara Anderson 38:27
Oh, well, thank you for coming on. Now. Before we go, yeah. Would would you take some time and tell us how we can find you and where we can buy your book as far as connecting with you and more about all of this wonderful, this wonderful lessons that you've shared?
Kenneth Earl 38:47
Thank you so much. Yes. So there's a website. It's called illegitimate das en sun S. O N, and also is on Amazon, you know, you can order it at Amazon. Easily. A lot of folks have that. I mean, II and also Barnes and Noble. I mean, any of those platforms that you might use is there. Also to my app can be reached at Kenneth Earl. I'm at the site, there's an email, you want to contact me to talk about some of these things.
Tamara Anderson 39:15
Well, thank you. That is That is awesome. So Kenneth this has just been so much fun. Thank you for coming on today and for sharing, not only such a beautiful tribute to your mom, but the hope that we can overcome these personal demons and become our best self. But one of the things I've just really drawn from your story today is that no matter where we start, that we can progress and become probably something beyond our our possible imaginations when we involve God in it because I think God sees who we can ultimately become and we've just got to trust him that some of those bumps in the road are gonna get us where we need to go right?
Kenneth Earl 40:07
I just have to comment on this, and I'm just going to be transparent here. We all know Martin Luther King. And I remember something, you know, everyone knows about the I Have a Dream speech and things of that nature. But it says something, and I don't know if he's the originator of this quote, because I've heard it in some other history books as well. But he, I heard him and it's in my head said, if you can conceive it, and you believe it, then you can achieve it.
Kenneth Earl 40:34
And I can tell you this, I have, for a very, very long time, I can't say I didn't believe it, I never thought I was skeptical, but I never felt like I can be anything I'm going to be the army had a commercial, you know, join the military, join the army and be all you can be. And I'm sitting thinking, No, and you hear that from your parents and other folks that have made it in life, you know, from presidents and, and other, you know, CEOs and everything. Well, you can do anything you want to online. And that's really hard to believe when you're coming from a place of lack, or, or in things of that nature. So I can't say that I always had that belief.
Kenneth Earl 41:13
But when you do get to I did get to a point in life where I'm saying it is so true. And I find myself giving those messages back to young people. I recently went back to South Carolina Cherry Street, you know, visited that street. I actually went to a high school two weeks ago in South Carolina and spoke to school. They call the Junior ROTC Air Force students and kind of share the story. Because what I'm saying is, and I did say they can be the best version of themselves, you can be an I even quoted the Martin Luther King thing. And those messages, you know, it's kind of hard when you're coming from the neighborhood that I came from, it's hard to believe that, but it's true. And you know, and obviously, you know, we have to be realistic with some of those things. But at the end of the day, you know, it is about how you might feel and think about yourself.
Kenneth Earl 42:01
And if you put the hard work into it, you can get there, and with the help of the Lord and prayers and brands and family and others, you can be that you can be that best version of yourself, whatever that is, you know, whatever that is, I can just tell you, I'm a better person than I was yesterday, for sure.
Tamara Anderson 42:19
Well, and that's, that is what gives us all hope, right? That we don't have to live in the past, we don't have to let our mistakes define us. We can use them to help improve and learn from kind of like we were talking earlier. But but that we can, there is hope be true and honest, kind of like your mama taught. Yeah, you know, live with integrity. And, and life will eventually work itself out.
Kenneth Earl 42:47
It will it really will since writing this book, and having to do this live autopsy of my life, to honor the person who gave me life who gave me the wisdom, the integrity, the character, you know, because at the end of the day, that's that's what I'm not here because of the degree or because I traveled the world, I'm telling you, it was because of those basic fundamental tenets of being a person of good character, and integrity. And those are things that get us through Psalms 100 is a popular Psalm for you and your family and Thanksgiving. And I'm like, wow, and what was so amazing about hearing you do that it was a small clip about three minutes. And what was so interesting, and ironic for me was before the podcast, I was like, wow, you know, I guess I'll just have to express to her my gratitude, I need to maybe I need to, maybe I need to Google something on gratitude or something, you know, because that's what I'm billing.
Kenneth Earl 43:46
And I found that clip that you wrote about that and how you you all do that everything's given and it's just a tradition for both of your families. And, and I was so moved by that, because that's what I have gratitude. And I'm just grateful to be with you here today. And just know that that matters to and having gratitude and less tied to the fight. It really is. And all these things that matter are free. Whether it's gratitude and a personal carrier to being having peace of mind. You can't buy goodnight, I said you can, you can, they said you can. You can buy on Sleep mattress, but those Sleep Number mattresses and those pills, but they won't guarantee a good night's sleep, it's not gonna get the bag, go get that and it's not a robot house, it's not going to promise you a good night's sleep.
Kenneth Earl 44:34
That's something that comes inside you. And all I'm saying is that I know that there's something special about this podcasting, I'm gonna figure it out. And you will be the first to know and I'm saying, This is what this moment has done for me. And again, I want to thank you and your listeners, you know, for this opportunity today because I'm telling you there's something very, very unique and special about what is happening to me in this podcast.
Tamara Anderson 45:01
Well, thank you for being willing to share and, and to share those moments in your life where, you know, you had to learn some rough lessons.
Kenneth Earl 45:07
Yes, I did, I did. And I didn't shy away from telling them either because, you know, I titled this book, illegitimate son for a reason, you know, a sun rises. You know, and raising four children without a father and a house, you know, back then we would characterize as legitimate. I want anyone to feel that maybe, maybe, maybe the loved one on their side, maybe it was born on on the side of the track, or maybe there's some other limitation to what it is that you can have in life. But that shouldn't stop you from being the best version of who you are. Because no matter where you start in line, you know, you can you can you can build on those things. You don't have the status, right. Yeah, that's really ultimately what this was about.
Tamara Anderson 45:51
Thank you so much for sharing that and that we can all rise from wherever we are.
Tamara Anderson 45:56
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote, or a scripture verse that they really, really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember, God loves you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai