Becca Goeckeritz: Tuning Bitterness Out and Bringing Hope In
Becca didn’t let her paralysis keep her from living her life fully, but kidney disease tested her faith and led her to have a deeper connection with Christ she never had experienced before.
Episode Discussion Points
Being paralyzed from the waist down since she was a baby
Having and ignoring the thought she needed to prepare for something hard in her life.
Her story of being diagnosed with kidney disease and sinking into depression.
Crying herself to sleep when she felt like every dream she ever had was being taken from her after diagnosed with kidney disease.
One of her biggest griefs was when her doctors said she and her husband not have children, when all she had ever wanted was to be a mother.
Wondering where her miracle turnaround was that seemed to happen for other people—but seemed to be eluding her.
A heartfelt desire she had in a hospital room while reading the scriptures
The inspiration she received when she asked God for help to remove the bitterness from her heart.
Key: Place your hope in God, not in man
Feeling shame sometimes that she didn’t have enough faith to overcome her fear.
“When you put your hope completely in Christ, everything becomes better.”
Becca loves being able to perform on her violin with the Tabernacle Choir, and has several favorite songs that have helped her in her dark moments to keep faith going.
Her biggest miracle—planting Jesus Christ’s grace into her heart
What keeping her heart tuned to the Savior looks like compared to tuning her violin—the Savior is all about the fine tuning (in our lives).
Inviting God to help you tune yourself to Him—and asking God the specific questions—how do I change? How do I move out of this place?
God will give each person the right answers for them and their unique situation.
Tips to Keep Focus Riveted on the Savior
Prayer
Word of God
Uplifting Music
Becca’s Go-To Powerful Music Resources
Be Still My Soul; view the performance by the Tabernacle Choir here on YouTube
Jesu The Very Thought is Sweet; view the performance by the Tabernacle Choir here on YouTube
How Can I Keep from Singing; view the performance by the Tabernacle Choir here on YouTube
Connect with Becca
#paralysis #faith #hope #kidneydisease #dailyconnection #JesusChrist #grace #music #upliftingmusic #tuningtoGod #tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
Becca Goeckeritz 0:03
So Matthew 11 says, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn with me and you shall find rest unto your souls." And as we read those verses, we were actually in the hospital, I was receiving an iron infusion. It's my spirit just cried out. That's what I want. That's the relief I want. Maybe the physical isn't gonna go away. Maybe all of this stuff is just gonna stick with me forever. But if I could just carry this yoke with the Savior, then I know that I could get through this I could get through anything.
Tamara Anderson 0:47
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 1:13
My guest today was paralyzed when she was hit by a car when she was 15 months old. At six years old, she began studying the violin. She graduated with a performance degree from Weber State University and currently plays with the orchestra at Temple Square, where she regularly performs on music and the spoken word with the Tabernacle Choir. She enjoys fashion, Legos, her dog, Chewy, handcycling, traveling and spending lots of time with her husband, Isaac. I am pleased to present Becca Goekeritz. Becca, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Becca Goeckeritz 1:53
Yes, absolutely.
Tamara Anderson 1:55
So Becca, just to break the ice a little bit. You won a contest at a point in your life. And I'd love for you to tell me about that. And what it was like.
Becca Goeckeritz 2:05
So I had the opportunity to go to New York and have the makeup artist Bobby Brown, do my makeup for me. And the way that it happened was my husband I were first married and I really wanted to go to New York. I had this New York bug in my heart, you know, once you go once, you kind of have to go every so often. And it was that so often time and we didn't have any money. We were this newlyweds. And one day, I get an email from Bobby Brown. And the email says win a trip to New York. And I thought it was one of those like sweepstakes entries. But and I was gonna, you know, trash the email. But I decided to click on it and see what it what it was.
Becca Goeckeritz 2:51
And we had to create a makeup video of how we use for products. And my husband, he is a videographer. He produces documentary films. And I thought, oh my gosh, we just won this contest. And so I talked him into filming me do my makeup and we sent him the video and I made it to the second round had a whole bunch of makeup sent to me and we had to make another video using that makeup. And then it went. We had kind of a little, I guess, viral campaign where people voted for the videos they liked and mine ended up being number one so I so we spent several days in New York at Bobby's expense, and I got a boatload of makeup from her then as well all the personalized things that she recommended for me and so I'm wearing the blush that she recommended
Tamara Anderson 3:50
That is so fun. What a neat experience. I love that so much.
Becca Goeckeritz 3:57
Fun. We got to New York. So
Tamara Anderson 4:01
Yes, indeed. So tell me your life hasn't been all winning contests and stuff like that. It has also had some difficult challenges that you've had to navigate Why don't you kind of kick it off for me and talk me through? Obviously you were paralyzed from the waist down?
Becca Goeckeritz 4:22
Yeah, about T8. So for any scientists out there to people to know about the body. T8 is where I'm officially paralyzed from which is just right about that where your belly button is. Yes paralyzed from the waist down.
Tamara Anderson 4:40
And that wasn't the only challenge.
Becca Goeckeritz 4:45
No, I so in 2009 I, my husband and I were applying for life insurance and we had the the nurse Come over to do our exam for us. And when they took my blood pressure it was elevated. That had never been the case for me, I'd always had a really normal super normal, healthy blood pressure, I hadn't gained any weight, there wasn't anything that indicated any other issues. And so it was kind of surprising that this was this would come back this way. When we got the results back from my bloodwork, they said that there was something it was something to do with my kidneys.
Becca Goeckeritz 5:36
And so I reached out to my urologist, because I just thought my urologist has treated all of my, like UTIs. And if I ever had like a kidney infection, he treated those too. So I thought that that's what urologists just did. So he treated me for a couple of years, but never with like blood pressure medication or anything like that. We just kind of watched my symptoms. And then one day, my I noticed my blood pressure as I was taking it regularly on my own. And I noticed that my blood pressure was just getting higher and higher.
Becca Goeckeritz 6:11
So I scheduled an appointment with my urologist, and he, we sat down and when I sat down at that appointment, my blood pressure was like 180. And I can't remember what the lower number was, but it was pretty high. And he just looked at me and said, what what do you think that I can do for you? And I I was so shocked, I said, help me with my kidneys. That's not what I do. I and I said what? Like, I'm kind of like the plumbing. I do all the plumbing. So yeah, your kidneys are part of that. But I'm not really the doctor for that.
Becca Goeckeritz 6:51
And I was actually kind of angry at that point, because I had just spent two years with him. Why would you not tell me this two years ago? Anyway, so he told me I need to go see a nephrologist. And I'm not sure if it was the stress of that appointment or what but the rest of that day, my blood pressure just elevated, elevated, elevated. And by four o'clock that afternoon, my blood pressure was 220 over 180. And so we went to the hospital, I think it capped out in the 230s. But they took me and they put me right up into a room, I was going to spend some time there until they figured out what was going on. I was there for about three days. They right away lowered my blood pressure with medication. And from that point on, I was on medication for my blood pressure until about my transplant. We found out it was kidney disease and that my kidneys were failing.
Tamara Anderson 7:56
Oh my word.
Becca Goeckeritz 7:58
So I started this journey of kidney failure. And and that was in 2011. So yeah.
Tamara Anderson 8:07
Wow. So tell me a little bit about how this affected you like mentally and emotionally. Where were you at that point in your life?
Becca Goeckeritz 8:19
I was in a really rough place. I had had a feeling right after my husband and I were married in 2009. I had had this feeling in my heart that I needed to prepare for something really hard. And I chose to ignore that feeling and determined that I should be happy because I was a newlywed and just thought, you know, I'm not gonna let anything rain on my parade. So I didn't I did not heed that, that prompting that feeling which I believe was the Holy Spirit telling me, you know, Hey, God has something really hard for you to do. And you need to listen. And I chose not to.
Becca Goeckeritz 9:10
So when you know, I've been going through this high blood pressure episode for two years, no indication as to really a real diagnosis as to what was going on. Have this really dramatic thing happened where we finally figured it out. And I was just kind of left in this place of like what is going on. So mentally, I kind of took a I actually took a really big nosedive. And I went into some pretty tough depression at that time. And the reason why it was not just the you know, you have I have organs dying inside of me. If anyone has experienced that type of depression where because it's health related. It's you know, or someone out there who's struggling a bit. You know, it with their mental health, and they're struggling with health, you know, it's due to the fact that you have these issues going on. And your body is just trying to put all of its energy into what's wrong and not really feeding the rest of you mentally.
Becca Goeckeritz 10:20
Anyways, so I went into this really difficult dark place and just struggled for. For many years actually, I saw the things that I wanted for myself, a family, children. I'm a violinist, so just education and opportunities, performance opportunities, all of that took a backseat to this disease. And it was really hard. It was a really, really, really hard time for me.
Tamara Anderson 10:51
So it almost sounds like the one of the hardest things to manage was just the mental shift. As far as here's what I expect, my life is going to look like. And now those things aren't going to happen. So it's almost like a grieving of those expectations.
Becca Goeckeritz 11:12
Absolutely. Yeah, there was a lot of grieving. I mean, the number one thing I wanted in my life was to be a mother. And with kidney failure, my doctors recommended that we not have children, because the health of the baby would be at risk. And even if the baby made it through pregnancy, and we both made it through pregnancy fine. That baby could have health challenges of their own. I mean, the kidneys do so much for us. And, and there did come a point where, you know, part of what your kidneys do is they regulate progesterone. So there did come up, there was a point where it was an absolute NO. At first it was suggested, and then it was highly recommended. And then it was no, you cannot get pregnant at this time. Just because of how my hormones were not being able to be regulated.
Tamara Anderson 12:12
Oh, wow. So that was super hard. I can only imagine. What what were you thinking and feeling when when that happened?
Becca Goeckeritz 12:22
Person A lot of despair. I remember just crying myself to sleep. Often, every night. Just because it felt that every dream that I ever had was being taken from me. I questioned why this was happening to me. I thought isn't the wheelchair enough? Yeah. The struggles that I had with your my wheelchair and everything, isn't it? Isn't it enough? And at what point does this turn around? You know, everybody talks about, "you know, I had this really hard thing happened in my life. And then, you know, something shifted, and everything was all better--the disease went away and all the you know, I got exactly what I wanted." And it didn't seem like that was even a possibility for me at that time. It everything felt so far away.
Tamara Anderson 13:20
Yeah, it's almost like you're asking Where's where's my miracle?
Becca Goeckeritz 13:25
Exactly, exactly my thought, you know, I've had miracles in the past, I've experienced many miracles. And just wonder, when when would the relief come? You know, and even got to the point where it's like, I don't even care if the physical relief doesn't come. Give me some mental relief. At least you know, these are these are the prayers that I'm having just begging, begging for mental relief, begging for any kind of lightening of the load. And just, every time I would go see my doctors, it was like, more tough, hard news.
Tamara Anderson 14:03
Oh, my goodness. So tell me what finally happened to help you. And what epiphany did you have that finally helped you shift something?
Becca Goeckeritz 14:19
Well, I had just little experiences along the way that really helped me. But a lot of the experiences that I went through were, I look back now and they helped me but in the moment they felt mysterious, they felt so I'd have these spiritual Inklings come into my heart. For example, my I was reading with my husband in the New Testament, and we're reading in Matthew 11. So Matthew 11, verses 28 through 30 says come on to me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn it. me for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest and to your souls for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. And as we read those verses, you're actually in the hospital, I was receiving an iron infusion. And my iron was really, really low. And we're reading those verses, and I just My Spirit just cried out, that's what I want. That's the relief I want. The physical isn't gonna go away, maybe all of this stuff is just gonna stick with me forever. But if I could just have, if I could just carry this yoke with the Savior, then I know that I could get through this, I could get through anything.
Becca Goeckeritz 15:43
And so that became my quest was to learn how to take upon myself his yoke. Because I wanted this to be easier. I wanted this to be lighter. Yes. So. So that became a quest for me. And in 2015, no, 2016 I was now on the transplant list for a kidney. And my mom was asked, actually, she was the first one they wanted to look at, she had the same blood type as me. And being that she was my mom, it would be like the best match even over like a perfect match, she would be my best match. So she was going through the process of to see if she could if she could be my donor. And I was going through the process of whether or not they would do the transplant. And I was, had received some blood work back that was pretty pretty dismal. Of course, I was on the transplant list, though. It's always gonna be dismal at that point. And I get the I get the numbers back, and I'm just completely upset and I'm crying.
Becca Goeckeritz 17:00
And I'm throwing this big tantrum, praying, trying to calm myself trying to ask Heavenly Father to call me. And as I'm in that this moment, I, I realized that I have have a lot of bitterness in my heart. And I pray to God for relief for this bitterness, because I just, that's not who I am. That's not who I have ever been. I've always been really joyful, really happy naturally. And I just, I wanted this and I was begging, how do I how does this get better? How does this get lighter? And within moments, the Holy Spirit taught me what is to me the biggest key in how to take upon the Savior's yoke. And that is hope. I had been placing all of my hope, and my doctors, my hope in my outcomes. And these were failing me.
Becca Goeckeritz 18:11
All around to be I had, my outcomes were never what I wanted them to be, this disease was not going away, it was getting worse. And, you know, my doctors, they're doing the best they could, but there's no guarantees. You know, we're human, all of us are human. And so the Holy Spirit taught me that I was putting all of these hope in the wrong place, or my hope was in the wrong place. And I was taught that the hope hope is only found in the Savior Jesus Christ. And as I thought about that, and as I pondered that, I realized, absolutely, that's where hope belongs, hope does it belong anywhere else, because everything else will let you down, everything else will fail you.
Becca Goeckeritz 19:04
If I put hope in my dreams, my dreams could go away tomorrow. And they had if I put my hope in miracles, then they may or may not come. But if I put my hope in Jesus Christ, then no matter what happens, I'm gonna be okay. This could get worse. But He's with me through it all. He's already suffered on the cross for me. And so I know I placed my hope in Him. It suddenly made my burden lighter. And and it has it has made my burden lighter from that point on from that February day in 2016. To this very moment, right now, my my days and my hope is brighter because it is centered on Jesus Christ.
Tamara Anderson 19:56
Wow. You know, that's such a powerful concept, I think often when we, when we look at those verses, because those have been key components for me as well, that we think, okay, what is it that I need to take on? Do I need to do more scripture study? And sure, you can you can add that to your day, you can add prayer to your day. But I think you're right it is it is, where is our focus? Where is the focus of our faith? Where's the focus of our hope? Is it centered on Christ? Or is it centered, like you said, on outcomes? Well, if if God gives me this, then I'll be happy. Do you know what I mean? Or something like that? When When, when true faith and true hope is centered on God? No matter the outcome, you know, and that that's hard, because you have to submit to His will, right.
Becca Goeckeritz 20:52
But once you do, it's not hard. Once you say that, I mean, give me the worst case scenario with Christ. Okay, I can't think of one. If I weren't to survive the kidney failure, if my mom wasn't a match, and I were to pass away, that would not be the worst outcome. I would be back in the loving arms of my Savior Jesus Christ. There is no outcome with Christ, that is devastating, I mean, sure, then the burden would fall to my husband, right? And, and so I'm not discounting the pain that we feel, I'm not discounting any hard thing. I'm just saying that with Christ, when you put your hope completely in him, everything becomes better. And you can still, you'll still still have the heart with you. The heart remain with you. But he's, he's carrying that with you. Now. You've invited that you've invited him to carry that with you?
Tamara Anderson 22:11
Wow. So do you feel that since you had that shift, and you started focusing your faith and hope in Jesus Christ? Did it? Did it help with the depression? Did it help with you what tell me specifically how it helped you? I guess emotionally, because obviously, your physical challenges didn't improve. But
Becca Goeckeritz 22:37
Yes, so for me, it did help my depression. And I just I want to just say, though, that I had thought about going on medication, and, you know, but all of the indicators, and as I was talking to my doctors, that, you know, it was all pointing to an upward trend for me. I would never though discount anybody seeking out like, make sure that when you're dealing with depression, keep your doctors in the loop, you know, make sure that you're hitting mental and emotional benchmarks, and be open to receiving all the help, because it's a real illness, you know. But for me, yes, my overall emotional state improved, and following the transplant, it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine after that. There were a lot I had a lot of illnesses occur because of my now immune compromised state.
Becca Goeckeritz 23:48
And the kidney has always been fantastic. I've never experienced any rejection, thankfully, or any of that with the kidney, the kidneys been perfect. But the immune compromised side has not been easy at all. And yet through that, because I had decided that there wasn't an outcome that would be devastating with Christ, but with Christ, everything would work out. I never experienced any fear. I just had complete faith that our Heavenly Father that God was in the details that Jesus Christ was, you know, yoked with my yoke with me on this burden. And that, you know, as long as we just stay focused on those things, then everything would would work out the way that it it needed to.
Tamara Anderson 24:53
That is so powerful. I really, really love that, that even though things didn't weren't perfect after the kidney transplant, that you were able to keep the focus where it needed to be. So let me ask you this Becca what, what are some of the things that you do to make sure that your, your faith in your hope stays focused on the Savior because we live in a world that is full of distractions, and thing things that try to pull our focus away from him? What what are some of the things you found that have helped you remain? Have your focus riveted on the Savior, throughout not only your trials, but just daily life?
Tamara Anderson 25:41
We're gonna take a quick break. But when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
Tamara Anderson 25:50
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Tamara Anderson 27:09
What what are some of the things you found that have helped you have your focus riveted on the Savior? Throughout not only your trials, but just daily life?
Becca Goeckeritz 27:19
Ah, thank you. i That's a really great question. And when were my daily life, I, I rely on prayer. I rely on the Word of God. And I rely on uplifting music. As a musician, I understand the power of music. And I feel so grateful that I perform with the Tabernacle Choir. I get to hear their music live weekly as I perform with them and add my own sound to their voices, my own testimony to what they're singing of. And so music for me has been a really big part of my journey. And my continued journey whenever I'm feeling I have kind of go twos that go to songs that really help told me to focus myself on the Savior when I'm struggling.
Tamara Anderson 28:25
And what are those?
Unknown Speaker 28:27
I love? They're all Mack Wilberg arrangements.
Tamara Anderson 28:31
That's all right. That's all right, share him with us. And you know, I'll link them I'll be sure to link them in the podcast show notes. Because sometimes, if people are really struggling and you found something that really helps pull you out of a, I'm having a really hard day or week or month or a year. If you share this, maybe it will help somebody else. So share it share those arrangements that are particularly meaningful to you.
Becca Goeckeritz 28:58
The first one is Be still my soul. That one as the verses continue on, you know from the soul, my soul, the Lord is on by side. I mean, that is like the statement for me, right? That's my mantra. And then as the place through that scenario, there really isn't a situation that the Lord can't cover that are that Jesus Christ cannot cover. So I love the Be Still my soul.
Becca Goeckeritz 29:29
One that makes me just cry thinking about it is Jesu, The Very thought of Thee. And that there's a verse and leading right up to the verse where the choir is acapella. There's a question that is asked, and the question is asked, but what are out of them that find? So who is the Savior to those who find him and then the follow Waiting. I think that's actually at the end of the acapella. That's the question that is left. And then from there was the choir comes back in with the orchestra, this author, he tries to describe what it is like, when you find the Savior. And I just get so weepy every time I listen to that. I cannot help but cry, that's me every single time because of the personal experiences that I've had. And also, while I was in the depth of the struggle, wanting to know the Savior at that level. And I have a continued desire to know him even more at that level. And I want, I want to know him. So I just want a really strong relationship with Jesus Christ. I love that song.
Becca Goeckeritz 30:57
And then the third song is, How can I keep from singing? And the part when they sing, "While to this rock I'm clinging, Since love is Lord of heaven and earth. How can I keep from singing?" So we actually sang that song about two or three weeks before my transplant, and I was just a weeping mess. I heard those words. And I just was like, that is what I have to do, I have to just cling to his rock, I have to cling to the rock, which is Savior, Jesus Christ. And I love that imagery of just, you know, both hands on him and to say, we're going for this. We're doing it and come what may, we're gonna go for it. So yeah, the other.
Tamara Anderson 31:50
I love the image that you've kind of painted throughout this podcast of that clinging to the Savior. And, and I think what I love the most about that is that you realized, you're truly not alone. That in those deep dark pits, he's there with you. And that if you are just literally clinging to him with your whole heart and soul, then you're not as lonely or sad down in those pits. You know what I mean? That He makes it bearable, because he brings his light, his comfort, his peace to you in that place. Right?
Becca Goeckeritz 32:33
Absolutely, He really does. And I am just so, I know that even in the loneliest times before I came to this realization, I know that he was with me, I know because he is grace. He never, he never leaves us. It was just in that moment in February of 2016, that I had finally been able to to my heart so that I could hear I could feel I could see the Savior, I could accept His grace into my life.
Becca Goeckeritz 33:15
You know, there's his grace is all around us. But when we can declare and accept that grace, and that's, that's a, that's a whole other experience. Once we accept that into our hearts, He makes the difference. It's no longer about what I can or cannot do any longer. You know, we still don't have kids. We don't that dream has not been realized at this time. But my heart is so joyful. Because I know that I have a Savior. Life doesn't work out the way that we want it to when hard things happen. And sometimes it does. I have experienced miracles as well from my transplant on. And but but none of that compares to the miracle of having Christ's grace planted firmly in my heart.
Tamara Anderson 34:17
I love the image of tuning your heart to be able to feel Him and His grace. And I can't help but think of since you're a violinist, you tuning your instrument. Do you know what I mean? And I'm just kind of seeing a parallel there that every day it requires just a little bit of fine tuning because I mean, well you probably could describe it better than I do. Tell me about your violin does it stay in tune day to day all by itself?
Becca Goeckeritz 34:48
You know, when you think about that image, the imagery of tuning, tuning tuning an instrument. So for in my case, I've got a violin recently I just I actually changed strings on my violin. And that is my least favorite activity because I cannot. It's like consistent and constant fine tuning. I mean, not only do I have to get the violin to be in tune, but I also have to pay attention to how that pegs are lined up. Because if I'm going to be an orchestra and I have to tune very quickly, I can't have my pegs in a position that I can't get it higher, because my, my physical body can't do it. And so, so there's not just the fine tuning of getting the strings to be in tune. There's the fine tuning of the instrument and getting the instrument to be to be just right.
Becca Goeckeritz 35:42
And I do I feel like the Savior does that for us. You know, he, our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, they are all about the fine tuning, fine tuning our hearts to be closer knit with bears. Yeah, so when I, when I tune an instrument, it is daily. And even when my strings are nicely worn, and they're they they're in that perfect place. I still to my instrument every day, sometimes multiple times a day, depending on the stresses that I'm putting the instruments. This is that I'm playing. So it's it's consistent effort to just keep that, that tool right there to be right into the same with our spirituality.
Tamara Anderson 36:35
Yeah, no, I love that. It's so it's such a beautiful example. Right. And I think it's so pertinent that, that tuning our heart and our desire to Christ is an ongoing process, not just once a day, but many times today. And I love how you said, depending upon the stress, I put on the instrument, you know, and we're all going to have times when we have to change out a string, you know, it's just worn, and it's going to have to happen, which is going to require more fine tuning. It's like these trials come into your lives, you know, it's going to require more fine tuning.
Tamara Anderson 37:15
But I think I think the key there is inviting him into the process, right, inviting him. Okay, Lord, I'm in a difficult situation again, again, it happens all the time, right? And will you help me tune to this new situation and stay in tune with you, you know, asking those questions, I'm feeling bitter, I'm feeling better. It helped me to tune this out of my life, and to tune the joy back in what do I need to do, because it's going to look different for each of us. So I think that constant conversation that you've talked about having with the Lord, is one of the keys, you know?
Becca Goeckeritz 37:57
Being honest with him about your situation. God knows all. We don't, we can't hide from from our All-Knowing Heavenly Father. And He doesn't know all to be invasive or to be you know, it's not a condemnation, that he knows all about us. It's His perfect love. It's the love that He has for us.
Becca Goeckeritz 38:21
But when we come to Him, and we express, you know, the feelings of our heart in an honest way. It's like knowing is half the battle, right? You know, what am I feeling? Oh, oh, my goodness, I'm finally seeing that I am feeling this incredible bitterness. I don't want this in me, I don't want that that's not who I am. That's not a part of me. Or, you know, I don't, I'm feeling an incredible amount of fear. And I know that fear and faith don't exist in one body, and yet, help me to weed out the fear and replace it with faith. How do I cross that bridge? How do I get to that, that place where I don't are not fearful?
Becca Goeckeritz 39:07
You know, some people they can they can they can just call on that faith and and my mom, she just like she can put a big shield up to fear and, and just completely not allow it in. But I found myself in that whole journey of feeling incredible fear, incredible fear for the moment and credible fear for my future. And sometimes feeling shame for that, you know that I wasn't strong enough or and then realizing, Wait, this, you know, I can pray I can reach out and I can ask how do I how do I move from this place? I don't want to stay here. How do I move from this place? Teach me how. And you know, both those answers came and those those realizations came and Ultimately, it's it's really because of the Savior Jesus Christ.
Tamara Anderson 40:05
I love that he gave you specific answers to you. Do you know what I mean? Because I think that's the great thing about prayer is that we can turn to Him. And He will give us the perfect answer for us the perfect next baby step. Sometimes it's a big step that he's telling you, you need to do this. And you're like, Oh, well, then how maybe strong enough to do that? Because that's hard for me. You know? It might come easy to somebody else, like my mom, but it's hard for me.
Becca Goeckeritz 40:38
It's okay. It's okay. You know, he loves us so much. And he does want us to be he wants he wants to give us His grace. He wants us to accept that and to our heights. It makes it because he knows it makes all the difference.
Tamara Anderson 40:56
Oh, Becca, this has been so amazing. And so eye opening to hear your story, to hear your insights, to hear the little tiny details that helped you learn to tune your heart to His. You know, and to allow him in to help you, to heal you, to help bear the burdens that were placed on your shoulders. It's just been incredible to hear you share such a witness of the power of Jesus Christ. So thank you for sharing that today. I know that people are going to want to connect with you here at the end of the podcast. Would you mind sharing me with me? Where they can find you and connect with you?
Becca Goeckeritz 41:35
Yes. So I am on Facebook. So my Facebook is just Becca Bierwolf, Bierwolf is my maiden name. b i e r W O L F as a family. Goeckeritz. It's G OECKERITZ. So Becca, Bierwolf Goeckeritz, it's on Facebook. And I also have a YouTube channel. If you just search my name and YouTube, I have some music there that I've posted. Mainly right now Christmas music. help, because of these like and then one other secular piece. But that's kind of growing and but please feel free to reach out to me through messaging. I do that on Facebook, and I will be happy to respond. So
Tamara Anderson 42:23
Oh, well. Thank you so much Becca. And I'll be sure to link those in the show notes of today's podcast as well so that you can find backup more easily. But thanks again for sharing your story of hope and for sharing your faith and the critical points in your journey which led you to a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ.
Tamara Anderson 42:48
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, Remember God loves you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai