Why Hitting Rock Bottom Might Be Good For You

Have you ever wondered why we hit rock bottom? Could good ever come from it? I share 4 questions which help rebound stronger after hitting rock bottom.

My Most Recent Story Of Hitting Rock Bottom

In September I hit rock bottom. The combination of dealing with COVID restrictions, trying to help my children stay focused for online school after a LONG and exhausting summer caring for my son with low-functioning autism. I was exhausted and broken. . . again!

Here are 4 questions I learned and used as I was rebounding from my rock bottom. I hope they help you as well.

Ask These 4 Questions To Rebound Stronger After Hitting Rock Bottom

1. God, Will You Help me?

First, ask God to help! He is uniquely situated to help you in your specific situation. Talk to Him and ask Him for help and guidance as you desire to do better and be better.

Isaiah 57:15, "For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones."

2. Why did I burn out and hit rock bottom?

The first question to ask yourself is why. If we don’t know why we can change and solve it.

"Hitting rock bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there."

— Michelle Parsons

• Story of leper colony and the purpose in pain.

3. What do I want to change?

"Never be afraid to fall apart. It represents an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wished you'd been all along."

— ​Rae Smith

When we hit rock bottom it is probably because some of our foundations stones in life have cracked and need to be repaired. We can only build a taller, stronger and better us when our foundation is solid.

4. How do I commit to change it?

"Strength and growth only come from continuous effort and struggle."

— Napoleon Hill

Now that you know why and what you want to change, make a plan HOW you will change.

Invitation

Want to avoid rock bottom in the first place? Take 30 min or more to evaluate your life and see if you are out of balance.

Need help? Download and use my ‘Not-To-Do-List.’

Promise

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. . .

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

God is never weary nor faint. He can and will renew and increase your strength as you move forward with His help from rock bottom. Rock bottom can be good after all because you can use it as a powerful tool to change yourself to be better, stronger and more capable.

#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #rockbottom #rebound #selfevaluation #change #help

Transcript

You can read the entire transcript of this episode here:

0:02

Have you ever wondered if any good can come from hitting rock bottom? I know I have. Today I'm going to share with you four questions that will help you rebound from rock bottom stronger and better. Stay tuned.

0:22

Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times. All with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.

0:48

Welcome to another episode of the Stories of Hope in Hard Times podcast. I'm Tamara K. Anderson. And on today's takeaway episode, I'm going to get a little raw and vulnerable with you, because I'm going to talk about one of the most recent times when I hit rock bottom. And I say most recent, because let's be honest, I've hit rock bottom several times in my life. But I usually do pretty well, staying strong and being able to cope with the challenges that are in front of me. But every once in a while I break.

1:25

And so I hope I'm not the only one. I know I've talked to many people who felt broken, especially this last year with the pandemic, because it was just added stress upon added stress upon added stress. You might even call it a perfect storm of stress that leads to brokenness. But I guess the thing I've been wondering about lately is, is it bad to hit rock bottom?

1:54

And I know it's not fun to hit rock bottom, because we often feel empty and broken and lost and alone, and like we just can't go on. But can good come from it? And I'm here to tell you that good can come from it.

2:16

First, let me take you back to September. It had been a really long year already. I mean, we'd been dealing with being quarantined for you know, about six months, and the kids were supposed to be going back to school, but it didn't look normal. And I think everything compounded on top of everything, including my son having a major hour and a half tantrum the day before I broke down. And then that next day he he threw another tantrum when we tried to do something else.

2:46

And I think that that combined with everything else I'd been dealing with, trying to keep podcasting, trying to help my husband, who had recently lost his job. And also he had also just recently finished a master's degree program where he'd been working not only overtime with schooling, but I was carrying a lot of the weight of the family for about two years while he was doing this master's program.

3:16

And I think my body just said, That's enough. If you're not going to take care of yourself, I'm going to shut down. So I really felt like my insides had cracked, and that I was completely empty.

3:37

And I know that a lot of the advice I share on this podcast is about connecting to God and staying in touch with Him. And that was something that I was doing. I was still praying I was still reading my scriptures. But sometimes even when you're doing these things and going to church and and trying to love and help and serve others. Sometimes we still hit a breaking point, which takes us to rock bottom.

4:05

But I want to tell you that hitting rock bottom was not necessarily a bad thing for me this time. And I'm going to share with you four questions that I learned to ask myself so that I could rebound better and stronger.

4:24

The first question is, God, will you help me? And I know that's an interesting question to ask. But often we are in rock bottom and we're hurting and we're not happy and coming out alone, especially when you're feeling so down and broken is hard. And so we need God's help to help us ask these next three questions, and also to help us move forward, up and out of rock bottom.

4:59

There's a really great scripture in Isaiah that I discovered just this past week. It's in Isaiah chapter 57, verse 15. And it says this, "For this set the high and lofty one that inhabited eternity." So this is what God is saying, "Whose name is holy, I dwell in the high and holy place with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit." And here's God's purpose, pay attention to this part, "To revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the countrite ones." So God who sees all things that everyone including you, His purpose is to revive the spirit of the humble and contrite.

5:45

When we're broken, and on rock bottom, we're usually pretty humble. And sometimes we're teachable at that point. But involve God in this process. So the first question is God, will you help me? I promise you He can and will, if you're willing to ask.

6:06

The second question you should ask is, why did I burn out and hit rock bottom? It's a good question to pause and think about. It kind of involves a little bit of self reflection. And there's a really cute quote from Michelle Parsons, which says, "Hitting rock bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there." So just because you've taken a dive, you don't need to stay there.

6:33

There is a story I once read, and I can't even remember where I read it, or I would reference it. So I apologize if I read it somewhere and I should be crediting someone. But it was of a leper colony. And it described this leper colony in it described that one of the challenges that lepers have is they start losing feeling in like, say their fingers or something like that. And so they'll get a cut on the finger. And they won't notice it. And all the sudden, because they don't notice it because they can't feel that cut on their finger, things will start to get infected and they start losing limbs and getting further health challenges because of a little cut on their finger or their toe or their leg because they can't feel the cut, or the infection.

7:29

And I never realized up to that point, what a blessing pain was. That feeling pain, helps you realize, okay, something is wrong. Something is wrong, and I need to fix it. So what we're asking what the second question, why did I burn out and hit rock bottom? We are recognizing--I am in pain right now. Why am I in pain right now? And so you can kind of look at your life and say, I was doing more than I should have and I wasn't doing enough self care. Or I wasn't. Or perhaps you're at rock bottom because of the actions of others. They are treating you unkindly constantly. You're a victim of abuse.

8:25

So, first of all, you need to realize why you have hit rock bottom. Write that down, talk it out. Think about it in your mind. You need to process that.

8:37

The third step is what do I want to change? Here you are, you're on rock bottom. You're in pain. What can you change? Often when we hit rock bottom, it's because some of our foundation stones in life have cracked, and they need to be repaired. The good news is they can be repaired. But it takes a little help and healing from God. So we can only build back taller and stronger and better when our foundation is solid. We have to do some repair work.

9:16

My sister and her family live in just outside of Dallas, Texas and one of the homes that they lived in, when they were first married, had foundation issues. And so you could see little hairline cracks along their ceilings and in other parts of the house. And they had to go in and pay a lot of money to get the foundation fixed and put concrete slabs in that lifted it up and made everything straight and flush again.

9:44

Sometimes when we hit rock bottom, we notice oh my gosh, maybe those are more than cracks. Maybe there are huge gaps in our house. And and we need to fix those. We need to address those but it is going to require us to change. So what are you going To change? Are you going to invest that time to change?

10:06

And there's a really great quote from Ray Smith. And they said, "Never be afraid to fall apart. It represents an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you'd been all along."

10:22

So when we hit rock bottom, we have a choice. We can either wallow there, and sometimes we do for a little bit. But we also get to choose how we rebuild. Are we going to build back that foundation? Are we going to fix those cracks in our house? Or in our house inside of us? Are we going to do it? And what is it that needs to change? Ask God to help you with that as well.

10:49

And the fourth question is, how do I commit to change? Because once we've decided, why we you be burned out, what we want to do about it, we need to commit to change and hold ourselves accountable. Maybe you need to get an accountability partner that's going to quiz you every week and say, Tamara, did you do your self care this week? Because if you don't do your self care, you're going to fall apart.

11:19

Or maybe, maybe another change that needs to take place is we need to establish boundaries if other people are hurting us or impacting our lives in a negative way. And sometimes those changes are hard to make. But know that you and your foundation, and the person you are becoming--the person you are building yourself to be, is worth you making that change.

11:45

And you're not going to do it alone. Because remember, step number one was inviting God to be a part of that process. And He is there to help you revive and rebuild. And He can help you do it in a way that is perfect and right for you. Because each of us have different things that we're working on--different cracked foundation stones that we're having to repair. And God knows the perfect way to repair them, just for you.

12:17

So to summarize, we have the four questions first, inviting God to help you, God, please help me. And then that next three questions are questions that you do in self evaluation there, the Why, the What and the How. Why did I hit rock bottom? What do I need to change? And how do I change it? Okay, so those are those.

12:45

Now let me give you an example of how I applied these four questions in my life. When I hit rock bottom back in September. The first thing I did is I had a good chat with God, I knew I'd been doing a good job reading my scriptures and saying my prayers. That wasn't why I hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom because I was having issues in other areas of my life. And so I had a good chat with God and said, I need to change some things. And will you help me? And the second thing that I did is I had to evaluate the why. Why was I at rock bottom? Again.

13:25

I wrote a great blog article where it talked about why I felt so empty. I said, "I push too hard for too long. It's my own fault. I know." My problem was I hadn't established boundaries between caring for my family, doing my job and taking care of myself. One of my weaknesses forever has been taken care of myself. I've always put myself and my self care last. And so I knew that needed to change. And so I specifically decided, Okay, here's one change for work: I'm only going to record podcasts on these days at these times.

14:16

And it was actually super liberating to me to be able to schedule interviews with people and just say I'm available at these times. And then the rest of the time. It's mine to be editing or working on my blogs or working with my family, my children because they were needing a lot of extra help.

14:38

And so it is okay when you're figuring out how to change to establish boundaries like that. That was one of the things I decided I needed to change. And so that it that my example just covered these steps. Why did I burn out? I didn't have boundaries and I wasn't doing self care. What Did I need to change, I needed to establish boundaries, I needed to take time for self care. And I've done that. I've actually given myself permission, in addition to creating the boundaries, but also to do that self care to take time on a regular basis to read a book, or go on a walk, or just or things that bring me joy, whether it's cooking a little bit fancier meal for my family, because it allows me to use my creativity, or I've started a little herb garden in my basement that I, we actually harvested lettuce from just the other day for the first time.

15:42

And it's been fun to for me to do these things that bring me joy, because when I'm, when my soul is full, I am much less likely to crash and break down.

15:56

And so I committed. I knew what I needed to change, I committed to change it. And then I asked God to help me.

16:04

Now just because I committed to it doesn't mean that I haven't had some super busy weeks. Just a couple weeks ago, my schedule was frantic again. And I knew that when my schedule gets super frantic, I tend to maybe be a little more lax on those rules that I've established previously. And, and I did bend some of them. And I just, I had to pause and realize, Tamara, if you keep going down this path, you're going to end up broken again.

16:35

And so I, I have this amazing resource that I've created called my "Not to do list," and I'll share it in the show notes of today's program. But it's really great because it allows me to list the things that I'm spending time on and then decide which ones are the most important in my life, and then give myself permission to either eliminate, delegate, automate, change, or keep the things that that I've listed there. But get rid of the things that aren't working in my life that aren't helping me move forward.

17:11

And so sometimes by doing these regular checkups with God, and with myself, it helps prevent me from going down that same slippery slope and hitting rock bottom again.

17:25

And so my friends, for those of you out there that have the same tendency like me to burn yourselves out and hit rock bottom, my invitation for you today is to schedule and spend at least 30 minutes doing a self evaluation, seeing if your life is out of balance. You can even go to my website and print off the the "Not to do List," if you think that will help you because It sure has helped me.

17:54

So remember these four questions, perhaps before you hit rock bottom, or even and especially if you hit rock bottom? First, inviting God to help you, God, please help me. And then that next three questions are questions that you do in self evaluation there the Why the What and the How. Why did I hit rock bottom? What do I need to change? And how do I change it?

18:23

One of the beautiful promises that God gives in Isaiah in the Old Testament is this, "Hast thou not known has not heard that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth fainteth not neither is weary. There's no searching of his understanding." So even when you're weary God is not. Continuing, "He giveth power to the faint." (That's good to know. Right?) "And to them that have no might, He increases strength. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. And they shall walk and not faint."

19:08

So my promise to you is even though you may be on rock bottom right now, or have been in the past, sometimes it's a good thing for us to be there because it helps us realize we need to change. We need to fix that crack in our foundation. Maybe we need to eliminate some things. Maybe we need to add some things to our life.

19:32

But God can help us fix those things and help us to have a sure and firm foundation so we can build back stronger and better and more confident and more powerful. And it's totally possible guys, I've experienced this in my life.

19:50

I can testify that God does help us through it. Yes, I've had to change some things. So just trust that Wherever you are, on your journey, whether you're going uphill or down, that God can help strengthen you and give you the resources you need, or help you ask the questions you need to ask so that you don't go all the way down to rock bottom. But if you're there, that you can rebound stronger, and better. Hope on my friends!

20:23

Hi, this is Tamara K. Anderson, and I want to share something special with you. When our son Nathan was diagnosed with autism, I felt like the life we had expected for him was ripped away and with it, my own heart shattered as well. It's very common for families to feel anger, pain, confusion and anxiety when a child is diagnosed. This is where my book, Normal for Me, comes into play. It shares my story of learning to replace my pain, with acceptance, peace, joy, and hope. Normal for Me is helped change many lives. And I'd like to give this book to as many families as possible.

21:06

We put together something I think is really special. My friends and listeners can order copies of my book at a significantly discounted price. And we will send them to families who have just had a child diagnosed with autism or another special needs diagnosis. We will put your name inside the cover so they will know someone out there loves them and wants to help. I will also sign each copy. You can order as little as one or as many as hundreds to be shared with others. So go to my website TamarakAnderson.com and visit the store section for more information and to place your order. You can bless the lives of many families by sending them hope, love and peace. Check it out today at TamarakAnderson.com and help me spread hope to the world.

21:58

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really, really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and with the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember God loves you.