Krista Isaacson: Finding Christmas Joy When You're Missing Loved Ones

Krista shares the story of her grandfather spending his first Christmas away from his wife as a soldier in Korea where he spent a humble and joyful Christmas in an orphanage as he shared a simple gift. She also shares how she has found joy during the holidays even after her daughter has passed away.

Episode Discussion Points

  • Holiday tradition—pick any box of sugared cereal for Christmas Morning breakfast

  • Krista tells the story of her grandfather leaving his brand new bride to go serve in the Korean War.

  • Her grandpa said it was hard to see the little children who were orphaned due to the war.

  • Someone in the village set up a little makeshift orphanage in a bombed out village

  • He and a buddy would take anything they could and visit the children in the orphanage.

  • Taking the hard tack candy from his care package and giving it to the children in the orphanage—and their joy since this was their only Christmas present.

  • The children then danced for them in their bare feet and ragged clothes to say thank you.

Lessons Learned

  • Be thankful for the blessings we have and never take them for granted because things can so easily be taken away.

  • Even in the hardest, darkest days there can still be things that bring us hope

  • Allow others to come into your darkness and bless your life

  • If you are away from family during the holidays, look for someone to serve

  • True joy doesn’t come from decorations, family or lights—it comes from serving and giving what you can.

To People Grieving Loved Ones During the Holidays

  • If you feel stuck—it is okay

  • Be patient with yourself and allow time and grace as you go through all the emotions

  • Don’t pretend grief doesn’t exist

  • Try not to be stuck forever. Allow yourself moments and times to grieve, and then say, “I don’t want to be stuck here.”

  • Remember the joyful times—Krista wants her angel daughter to know (in heaven) that her death didn’t only bring sadness to her life, that she also remembers the joyful times as well.

  • Each Christmas Krista and her husband write their angel daughter a letter and stick it in her stocking. In this letter they make a promise to her of something they will do that coming year to better themselves, serve others or add goodness. Because these are the things that will help them become more like her and be prepared to be where she is in heaven.

Favorite Bible Verse about Jesus Christ

  • Isaiah 12:2, “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.”

  • It is a process to truly learn to trust God and have Him become our salvation.

Connect with Krista

#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #christmasstory #koreanwar #orphanage #christmascandy #service #grief #loss #peace

Transcription

You can find the transcription of today's episode here:

Krista Isaacson 0:03

So, it was only a few months after they were married maybe three or four months. I don't even think it was that long before grandpa was then deployed to Korea, as it got closer to Christmas grandpa's heart grew heavier and heavier. He had never been away from his family before for Christmas, his parents and his siblings, and now he was also awaiting from my grandmother for their very first Christmas together. And he was so worried about these children and the other people and how they were going to survive that winter. And his heart was heavy during that time. A few days before Christmas, he received a package in the mail.

Tamara Anderson 0:46

Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.

Tamara Anderson 1:11

I am pleased to bring on my guest today. I've had her on before but I'm going to quickly introduce her to you again. She is a felicitously married mother of six children, including a daughter who has earned her angel wings. She was raised in the California Bay Area and came to Utah where she met and married her husband of 27 years. She's an award winning author and just published her first book and unbearable burden about the loss of her two year old daughter to a cancerous brain tumor only 30 short hours after diagnosis, and how God carried her and taught her to survive that loss.

Tamara Anderson 1:50

If you want to hear her share that story I will link it in today's show notes because she shared it with me back in 2021. But she loves leading children's music in our congregation and serving on the women's conference service subcommittee which has opened her eyes to the myriad of service opportunities around us daily. I am pleased to present Krista Isaacson. Krista, Are you ready to share your holiday story of hope?

Krista Isaacson 2:15

I am Tamara, thank you for having me today.

Tamara Anderson 2:18

Oh, it's so fun to have you back on the show. And it's fun to have people who have been on more than once they become like closer friends of mine. Usually. I feel like I'm just kind of bringing a friend back on and saying oh me another story.

Krista Isaacson 2:31

Let's just sit on the couch and shot. That sounds great.

Tamara Anderson 2:34

Oh my goodness. Well, I thought we'd break the ice today. And have you share what is a fun holiday tradition that you do with your family?

Krista Isaacson 2:43

So I'm growing up my my parents were really good at hiding the fact that money was tight. My dad is a general contractor and one of the most hardworking people I know. But things like sugar cereal was not a very commonplace item in our home growing up. And so our tradition would be that for Christmas morning, we all went to the store and we got to go down the cereal aisle and pick any box of cereal that we wanted. And so there were six of us. And so there were six boxes of sugar cereal that we'd all handpick laid out for Christmas morning breakfast, and it was the happiest I can still smell the strawberry shortcake cereal that they had back in the 80s.

Tamara Anderson 3:30

I love that. Oh, yeah. That's so funny. You know, I grew up in a similar household and my mom used to get the big kind of bags of the generic Cheerios. Yeah, she'd get like five of those bags, and she'd mix it in those big white buckets. And then she'd take one bag of the honey sweetened ones, and sheep mix it in. And that was our regular cereal. I really wanted cereal. And then one of my sisters was so funny, she would sit and she would kind of tilt the bucket and pick out the shiny ones. They were the honey flavored ones. And I'm like you can do that--its cheating. And shes like, I can do it if I want. Anyway.

Krista Isaacson 4:13

that was a lot of work. I just my parents were incredible and always made the holidays magical. And I only have sweet, wonderful memories of Christmas growing up.

Tamara Anderson 4:26

Oh, that's wonderful. Well, I'm excited. Today we're going to talk a little bit about a story about your grandfather. Would you mind telling us a little bit about that and then share the story.

Krista Isaacson 4:38

So I for those of you who are just listening, I'm going to hold up a picture of my grandparents. This is my grandpa Victor and my grandma Ruby. This is their engagement picture. So you they met at a college football game. And then they went on one date before grandpa what when went to basic training for the army. This was the Korean War era. And so he, he just knew that this was the woman that he wanted to marry even after one day. And so he sent her an engagement ring in the mail.

Tamara Anderson 5:14

Are you serious?

Krista Isaacson 5:15

Yes. And so she replied back with a letter and said yes. So when he came home on leave after basic training, they got married in June of 1952. So it was only a few months after they were married, maybe three or four months, I don't even think it was that long. Before grandpa was then deployed to Korea, he traveled on the USS Walker across the ocean. And his first glance of Korea was that it was a beautiful country, he could see the tall green mountains. But when they landed, and he went inland with his company, he learned how much devastation there had been in that country.

Krista Isaacson 5:57

And it broke his heart to see all of the people that had lost so much. And so that was a difficult time because he had just been married. And he had to leave his brand new bride behind and go to a foreign country that was filled with people that were hurting, and with devastation throughout the land. He remembers walking through the streets when he could on days where he had leave, he would go into the little village that was nearby. And there were people, just their homes were in rubble, they'd lost everything. There wasn't a family that hadn't lost a family member that and he said, but he said the hardest part was seeing the little children.

Krista Isaacson 6:39

There were so many children that would just sit in the street in front of the rubble that had been their homes. And when asked where their parents were, they would point at their homes, they would point in the rubble. And they just knew that their parents had been buried somewhere underneath that home. And there were so many children that were left orphans in those little villages. So grandpa always said that was the hardest part was the little children. They arrived before it started to snow, but it soon got closer to Christmas time. And troubling hard situation became even worse when it started to snow.

Krista Isaacson 7:21

So there was in this little village, someone had set up a makeshift orphanage, it was just a bombed out building. There was half a roof, there were no windows, there were no facilities of of any kind. There's no heat or water or sanitary situation. But at least it was a place for the children to be. And so grandpa often would take a friend, a buddy, and they would walk into the village and they would take what they could, they would take a blanket or a little bit of food or you know, a pair of socks, anything that they could run a job. But even the army didn't have a lot to spare, but they would take what they could and they would go to the orphanage and try to help the children.

Krista Isaacson 8:05

And he said it was just a scene of devastation because they had barely any clothes on they just had rags. They had maybe a few thin blankets that they were sharing. They were just on the cement floor, in the cold in the snow and whatever food they could rummage up you know, it wasn't much.

Krista Isaacson 8:22

So as it got closer to Christmas grandpa's heart grew heavier and heavier. He had never been away from his family before for Christmas, his parents and his siblings. And now he was also away from my grandmother for their very first Christmas together. And he was so worried about these children and the other people and how they were going to survive that winter. And his heart was heavy during that time. A few days before Christmas. He received a package in the mail.

Krista Isaacson 8:52

First I want to show you show you this little gift before I get to that part. For those of you that can't see I'm going to hold up a beautiful little purse. This is black velvet, and it's got gold embroidery through the black velvet of different flowers. It has a cute little fabric candle, a Gold Class. And when you open up the the Gold Class, there's a beautiful mirror on the inside. It's like a little bucket purse. So it looks a little bit like you know, a little bucket with a lid on it. This is what my grandfather sent to my grandmother their first Christmas he sent this from Korea. So this is her his gift to her what she said to him, she sent him a care package with things that she thought maybe would help him.

Krista Isaacson 9:36

There were some wool socks and some gloves. I think there was a scarf in there just some warm clothes. There were some photographs from home which were precious to him. And also a few treats including a package of what he called Hard tack Christmas candy. And again, I'm going to hold up a picture. You'll you'll know this is familiar to most people, they still sell it in the stores at Christmas time. But it's the key handy that looks like little ribbons folded together or little striped pillows. Or sometimes they're the round candies that have shaped like flowers or fruits on the inside of the hard sucking candy.

Krista Isaacson 10:12

So there was a package of this, her candy in there. And the second he saw that candy, he knew exactly what he wanted to do with it. So he found his buddy that would go into the village with him and he said, Get your boots on, and let's go. And they ran through the snow into the village, straight to the orphanage, and he had that sack of candy in his pocket.

Krista Isaacson 10:32

And they walked into the orphanage and the children were always happy to see them because they were friendly face and usually kind and brought something with them. But they were so cold, they kind of stayed under their blankets, until grandpa pulled out the sack of candy and showed it to them. And then they came running. And grandpa passed out a piece of candy, one piece of candy to each child one by one by one. And there was just enough for every child receive one piece of hard tech candy. He says that was the only Christmas gift that they received that Christmas.

Krista Isaacson 11:05

But after months and months of hardship of eating, scrounge food and being cold, and having lost their families, having lost everything, that one piece of candy brought a beautiful light and joy into that room. Grandpa said the children were so happy. They said thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you over and over again. And then they made my grandpa and his friends sit down on the floor. And they sang Korean songs. And they performed traditional Korean dances in the dirt with their bare feet, as a thank you to these men that had shown them some kindness at Christmas time.

Krista Isaacson 11:47

So this is a story that my grandfather never forgot. And it is precious to him. And he would gather us around every Christmas. And he would tell us the story. And I know he could still see those children's faces. By the tears in his eyes, I just knew he could still see them and that he was hoping that they had grown up to live happy and healthy lives. And that that was his always his prayer that those children had been able to find happiness and joy.

Krista Isaacson 12:20

After he was done telling his story, grandpa would pull out a jar of Hard Tack Christmas candy and pass it around the room. And we were each allowed to take one piece. Now when I was younger, I thought it was a sweet story and it was touching. But as I grew older and continue to hear this story, that piece of hard candy has meant a lot of things to me.

Krista Isaacson 12:43

It is meant to always be thankful to always be thankful for what we have and the blessings that we have. Because so many things can be so easily taken away. So to never be to never take our blessings for granted our family, our homes, our comforts, even things like warm clothes. So many of the things that those children didn't have anymore.

Krista Isaacson 13:06

That candy has also represented hope that even in the hardest, darkest days, there can still be things that bring us hope that there will be good days ahead, that there is light ahead that there will be healing and help from those around us. That candy is also represented Love that sometimes when we're going through hard things, it's hard to accept love and help from other people, isn't it? I think sometimes that's the hardest thing is to allow others to come into into the darkness with you to come in to where maybe you're not at your best to let them see you in your heart and, and rough states. But the beauty of allowing someone to come in and bless your life and bring what they can.

Krista Isaacson 13:57

I just think this candy can represent a lot of different things. And I would say if we could interview each member of my family, it would probably mean something unique and different to each one. But I think that was the blessing of the stories that Grandpa never told us what it should represent. He let it be a gift to each of us that one piece of candy. And we took that away from his home every year and thought on it and thought about what it meant to us that year. And it has stayed with me. He passed away three years ago but I still tell the story to my children and now I pass the dark candy to them.

Tamara Anderson 14:31

What a sweet, sweet story. We're going to take a quick break but when we get back, we'll have more lessons tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.

Tamara Anderson 14:43

Hey my friends, are you looking for a meaningful Christmas gift this year? If so, you need look no further I have a fantastic sweet short story. I am so excited to share with you my new booklet it's called a broken down holiday misses the story of a widowed young mother trying to travel home for the holidays soon after her husband dies, and being stranded in the middle of nowhere. And some of the hard things that she experiences and some of the miracles that you wouldn't think are miracles that she had happened. And it is based on a true story that happened to my mother in law. It's great for those friends that you're just like, what do I get them something simple, that's under five bucks to great stocking stuffer. So if you want to share this message of hope with your friends or family members, check it out a broken down holiday on Tamara Kay anderson.com.

Tamara Anderson 15:45

Oh, what a sweet, sweet story. I just saw that. And I'm a little teary. Probably because it's just a little tender. You know, it's a sweet story. But another thing that I was thinking about, as you were telling it was, how many of us are away from loved ones during the holidays, sometimes, and, and I love the example of your grandfather of looking for ways that he could serve and bring that Christmas spirit, not only to him, but share it with others. And that in sharing that he was given a gift in return, you know, that gifts that the children gave him and so I was just thinking, you know, this is a perfect example of, of when you're feeling sad, and sorry for yourself. If you can't spend Christmas with those you love that there are always others of God's children that could use your love, and kindness at Christmas time.

Krista Isaacson 16:46

I think this story distills down the most important elements of where we find joy, where we find peace, especially during the holidays, we tend to seek for those things in in ways that maybe don't really lend truthfully to joy or peace or happiness. We search for them in decorations or in glitter and, and lights and, and you know, the fancy things of the holiday. But for my grandfather that Christmas didn't involve any of those things, and not even his family close by right. But it was in the forgetting himself and serving someone else in giving what he could in serving in whatever way he could.

Krista Isaacson 17:28

And then those children's serving him back, that that's where they found joy and happiness that Christmas. So yeah, it can be found in every circumstance. I think it just requires us sometimes coming out of ourselves and coming out of her own thoughts, which is so tricky to do sometimes, it's very easy to be caught up in the things that are hard and to be stuck there. But yeah, I think if we can find a way to do that, to to see other people and, and to spread joy and light that it can't help but be contagious to our own hearts.

Tamara Anderson 18:01

Yeah. And, and I know you speak from experience as far as dealing with maybe grief during the holidays, especially after you did lose your daughter. Are there any tips you would give to parents or women or men who have lost someone during the holidays?

Krista Isaacson 18:17

I just said you know that sometimes we get stuck. And you know what sometimes, I guess I'll retract out a little bit that sometimes that's an okay place to be for a time that we need to be gentle with ourselves and allow ourselves to go through those difficult feelings. There's there's something about not ignoring those things or trying to race through them or pretend they don't exist, right? grief. Grief is a process that it takes time and it takes patience, and it takes kindness to ourselves and to other people.

Krista Isaacson 18:52

I just think that for me, it has helped if I don't get stuck there, I allow myself moments and times of grief. And then I say I don't want to be stuck there. I want to show my daughter who I know I believe she is safe in heaven and that she's aware of me and that I will see her again. And I don't want her to feel like her death only brought sadness to my life. That there are beautiful memories that I remember that there are things that we did together that there are still ways that she adds light and life to our lives. And I want those things to be as impactful. And I so I take the moments to grieve. And then I take the moments to remember her with fondness and goodness.

Krista Isaacson 19:38

And then one of our favorite Christmas traditions is that my husband and I write her a letter and we put it in her stocking and it's the only gift that we give her anymore because she doesn't need dolls or dresses even though I would love to buy them for her. But we write her a letter and we make her a promise of something that we're going to do that you Are to better ourselves, to serve other people to add goodness to this world. And that is our gift to her because we feel like those are the things that will help us to be more like her, to help us to be prepared to be where she is, and to be with her forever. So that's one of my favorite ways to, to kind of turn hard, maybe sad time of year on its head, and to remember the things that she would have us do good in the world, and to find ways to spread joy, and hopefully lift people who are standing where we have been spared. That's horrible.

Tamara Anderson 20:38

Yeah, absolutely. And if you know someone who is struggling with grief right now, I would highly recommend Krista's book. Krista, why don't you tell us quickly about your book Unbearable Burden and where we can find it?

Krista Isaacson 20:50

Yeah, Unbearable Burden. The subtitle is one mother's decision to trust God when he asked to be impossible. And the title of my book, unbearable. I know that sounds like a heavy, heavy book to read. And it is a heavy story. But if you will actually look at the title of the book, you'll notice that the urn of unbearable is starting to fade away, like it's being blown away. My hope is that as readers read my story, and read the story of, of my daughter, Elora, that there is hope also in the story, that I found that with the love of family and friends, and by trusting in God, and allowing beautiful blessings into my life, that that unbearable burden, that thing that I thought I could never carry, that I would never survive, became bearable, through so many amazing, wonderful experiences that I document in that book.

Krista Isaacson 21:47

And I can stand here today and say that it has become bearable, that with time and healing, and many wonderful people who have lent them their hands to my life through you know, friendship and, and care that the unbearable burden has become bearable. And so you can find the book on Amazon. You can also visit my website it's Krista M. isaacson.com. Krista is KR is Ta than the initial M. Isaacson is ISAC s o n? That double A sometimes is tricky.

Tamara Anderson 22:25

Right? Well, and I think one of the things I love about Krista is her faith in God through all of this and and so I thought I'd have you share maybe a favorite scripture about the Savior during the holiday season because I think it'll pull it all together. Everything that we've been talking about about here today,

Krista Isaacson 22:47

I love it. The scripture that I chose to share today is a one of my new favorites I found just a few years ago. And I believe that it describes my experience of losing my daughter and learning to trust God in a new way that I had never before. While we were in the hospital, it was just like you said Tamara at the beginning 30 hours between a Laura's diagnosis with a cancerous brain tumor, and when she passed away, so in essence a day.

Krista Isaacson 23:16

And I could not understand why that was the path that God wanted me to walk, I didn't understand why he wouldn't grant me the miracle of saving her when other children sometimes receive that miracle. There were a lot of things I didn't understand. But in the end, I learned that if I could just trust him completely, that he would hold me and guide me and carry me through that to brighter days ahead. And I have learned to trust Him, and to know what his voice sounds like and to feel his arms around me.

Krista Isaacson 23:46

And so the Scripture is Isaiah chapter 12, verse to behold, God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my son. He also is become my salvation. I have always known about Christ. I've always known who he was. I've always known the promises that he made. But when I lost my daughter, and in the months and years that have followed of learning to walk through grief, and learning to live a new normal without her, I can truly say that Christ has become my salvation. I like that because it suggests progress. It suggests acceptance, surrender it uh, it, it implies action, that there was a process that I went through with Christ, to where I can say that today he has become my salvation. I have accepted Him into my heart in my life. And I know that I am here today because of him. And I love him.

Tamara Anderson 24:51

Oh, well thank you so much for being willing to share that not only the story of your grandfather and how a lonely Christmas can and become more full as we serve, but also sharing a little bit of your story in there as well of how God can take that unbearable burden and make it bearable and save us from all the grief and sorrows of life. One baby step at a time, like you said, it's it's a process. It's a process and, and I think that's what makes Christmas so special. And that holiday season of the year so special, it's because we're remembering him more often. And you know, as Thanksgiving blends into Christmas, I think it's beautiful pattern that we're thankful for Christ. You know what I mean? We're thankful for Christ. He is what makes life bearable, right?

Krista Isaacson 25:47

Yes, he does.

Tamara Anderson 25:49

Well, thank you so much for coming on today and sharing this wonderful holiday story of hope and your faith in Jesus Christ, which has gotten you through all of your struggles,

Krista Isaacson 26:00

and will continue to forever.

Tamara Anderson 26:04

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote, or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all outs. Remember God loves you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Tamara Andersonfamily, Christmas, grief