Julie L. Spencer: Learning to Live with Bipolar Disorder
Can a person with a bipolar disorder live a normal life? Julie didn’t know she had a mental health issue until she was in her late twenties, and once she got help learned to thrive.
Episode Discussion Points
Changing the World One Story at a Time
As a teen she started exhibiting symptoms of Bipolar disorder, but didn’t get diagnosed until her twenties
So, Julie got into alcohol, and that is why what she writes tries to teach teens to stay away from it because she knows what it did to her.
Julie describes bipolar disorder as like bugs crawling under your skin and no matter how much you scratch, you can get rid of the itch. So, that is why a lot of people with symptoms end up turning to drugs, alcohol or promiscuity to try to “self-medicate” and escape.
Julie ended up getting pregnant in high school, but she feels getting pregnant saved her because she stopped drinking for the baby.
After marrying her high school boyfriend who was an alcoholic, but she and her daughter were abused by him, until her mom helped her escape.
If you or someone you love is in an abusive situation they need to escape you can call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-799-7233.
She went back to college, married her forever husband and figured out during a Chemistry class that the lithium she was taking often helped people with bipolar disorder.
A psychiatrist was able to finally diagnose her and get her on medication.
A story where the stress of a job almost killed her because she became so depressed.
Coping mechanisms she has used: finding a safe place to retreat and decompress or getting a hug from her husband really help.
Connect With Julie
You can also connect with her on Facebook as Julie L. Spencer
You can also purchase any of her books on Amazon.
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #bipolar #bipolardisorder #mentalhealth #suicide #help #healing #coping #abuse #alcoholism
Transcription
Julie Spencer 0:03
But I was a little bit suicidal that day, I was actually praying to God, take me home, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be here. I don't want to deal with these people. I don't want to deal with my job. I don't want to deal with all the challenges of being a mom and a wife and I can't do this anymore.
Tamara Anderson 0:25
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
My guest today is a best-selling multi genre author who uses real social issues to incorporate valuable lessons into fictional stories. As an author and publisher, she's mentored other authors using techniques she's developed over 30 plus books and publications to springboard their own successful careers. Her stories include snarky flawed characters and romantic twists and turns. She believes we can change the world one story at a time. I am pleased to present Julie L. Spencer. Julie, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Julie Spencer 1:28
Absolutely. Thank you for having me.
Tamara Anderson 1:31
Oh, this is this is gonna be fun. And I love that your tagline is “Changing the world one story at a time,” because that's what we're doing here on this podcast. Yes, yes. Yes. So we before we dive into your story, I thought we'd break the ice with a little bit of lesser known fact about you. And the interesting things about you is that you love rock and roll music. Yeah. There you go. Tell me tell me why. And how come that is?
Julie Spencer 2:05
Well, it's funny because in my car, I almost always listen to Christian music, I don't know if you've ever heard the music. I don't know if it's a musical. It's got orchestral music and speaking and it's got these beautiful songs. And I have been listening to it every single day in my car for like three years, because I performed in twice at the Midland Center for the Arts in Midland, Michigan. It was so wonderful to be a part of this, to see different denominations all coming together for this beautiful performance. And the music is just incredible. So I listen to that in my car. But when I am writing, often, I am listening to rock music because some of the books that I write, actually are about rock stars.
Tamara Anderson 2:56
There you go.
Julie Spencer 3:00
I have a whole series called “My Rock Star Redemption” series. So it is a guy who's a child prodigy. So the book, the book series starts out literally when he's eight years old and identified as a child prodigy. And then like the next scene, he's in high school, and he kind of recruits these other guys who are in his band class, and they start this little rock band. And he figures out pretty quickly that he's the only Christian in his group. And so there's all these challenges throughout the story with, you know, drugs and alcohol and girls, and he's trying really hard to stay true to his values, and also not be judgmental against his buddies, but also be a good example to them. And the story goes through the time when they're like mid to late 20s. So it's a long series. It's like five or six books, they keep expanding. There's more and more books. Every once in a while. I'm like, oh, I need to write another Buxton Peak book. So the series is called Rock Star Redemption series. And I listened to a lot of music trying to figure out what does my fictional rock band actually sound like? And so I just started listening to all these bands, and I found that I really love like guitar solos and drum solos. So I have a lot of music that I have like a playlist of instrumentals. But they're all these rock bands, Guns and Roses in particular.
Tamara Anderson 4:33
The good old ones, right. There you go. So you have quite a variety in the music that you listen to, which is great.
Julie Spencer 4:42
Well kind of except that it's really just those two.
Tamara Anderson 4:45
Well, let's dive into your story. Take us back to your young adulthood when you were diagnosed with were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder back then? Or when did that…
Julie Spencer 5:02
I actually wasn't officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder until I was in my mid to late 20s.
Tamara Anderson 5:09
Oh wow, now you were struggling with symptoms of it, but you didn't know what it was.
Julie Spencer 5:13
I had no idea that that was what it was. I just thought I was a troubled teen. My parents had no idea what to do with me, I started drinking at a very young age, which is probably why I'm so adamant about encouraging, you know, teenagers to not drink alcohol, because I know what it did to my life. And I know that the only reason that I'm here still is because God must have a plan for me, and I better figure out what it is, do that do the things that he wants me to do. Because there, there were times when I was young that I remember, like, driving through downtown Flint, plastered drunk at three in the morning, and running red lights and laughing like with my friends, and we were goofing off and just being silly and stupid. And how did we not die? Yeah, I mean, I don't, God had to have a plan for me to actually pull me out of those things. Yeah, and I, I started drinking when I was in junior high. And my parents were were drinkers. And so we kind of had this joke amongst us, kids or teenagers, that as long as we, you know, replaced the, the beer cans into the 24 pack of beer, as long as they could count at the end that there were still 24 cans at the end, they didn't notice that we took one. And the big bottle of whiskey that sat there if you took a little bit out of it that they weren't going to ever notice that. So it was very easy in my life, to to get my hands on alcohol. Whereas now I don't have any in my house. And I hope I never have, you know, I've told my daughter when she turns 21, Don't you ever show up at my house, in your system or on person, you can leave your car keys because it's our car. Go find somebody else to sleep on your couch tonight, because you're not living at my house ever again, if you have alcohol in your system, tough love, maybe. But I know what I dealt with when I was a kid. And I don't ever want to deal with that as an adult. If somebody else is drinking in their house, I can leave. If somebody brings alcohol into my house, I can't leave this is my home. And this is my little safe shelter from the world. So that's don't ever want to deal with it again.
Tamara Anderson 7:37
So do you feel like you were experiencing symptoms back then of bipolar issues that maybe you were trying to self medicate with the alcohol or what? Describe how you were feeling at that point in your life.
Julie Spencer 7:54
And well, the best way that you can describe bipolar is feeling like you have bugs crawling around underneath your skin. And you can't get them out. You can't do anything. It's like It's like itching a rash. But the rash is on the insides and no matter what you do to the itch is not going to alleviate it. So if there's something like an external something like alcohol, or marijuana, and a lot of people with bipolar also turn to promiscuity. That that's it's it's basically all of it is just self medicine, medicating, because you do anything to make that feeling go away. And a lot of times it's an escape. You just want to escape this world that you're in. And you don't know why. So when my my youngest daughter started showing signs of bipolar at a very young age was early teens, we immediately jumped into action, and got her help. Because we know what i She had the benefit of having a mother who knew what it was like at that age. Yes, we didn't fix all our problems. And actually the medications, some of them are not even available until after you turn 18 And then the miracle medication that I'm on, she got a severe reaction to it, ended up in the emergency room. So we still haven't figured out you know, her medication yet, but she's in you know, counseling and trauma therapy and you know, we just do the best we can. Yeah, but yes, I'm sure that I was I had no idea what it was my mom would never have thought that it was bipolar disorder. She didn't know anything about that. So I was experiencing all these weird things that people just thought I was rebellious teenager.
Tamara Anderson 9:44
So were you having the wild mood swings from super high to super low or?
Julie Spencer 9:52
Yeah, because I remember times in my life where I wanted to, you know, I was not fully suicidal but definitely was I've got to get out of this life. I, I'm so depressed. And then other times where I was just this elated, you know, like I said, driving down, Flint, Michigan,
Tamara Anderson 10:12
That kind of gives us a picture of where you were coming from. And so you went from that to getting married. And that didn't turn out as well as you had hoped. Tell me about that.
Julie Spencer 10:26
Well, it's interesting because I, I was such a smart little kid that I actually got accepted to University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, which is really prestigious university. So you know, I wasn't stupid, but I was doing a lot of stupid things. Right. And my ex husband, actually, I'm pretty sure he got me pregnant on purpose to keep me from going to college. So I graduated high school, pregnant. I was one of two girls in my high school who were pregnant and nobody knew, or maybe some people did, and I always just stick my head in the sand, thinking people didn't know, I was already living with my ex husband at that time. As a senior in high school, and we did get pregnant. And of course, I kept the baby and she's my incredible 28 year old now who is like having her first baby. She's pregnant. Her and her husband are gonna make us grandparents in a couple of months here, so yeah, so she's an incredible person in my life. And I think she saved my life. Getting pregnant for Virginia saved my life, because I couldn't drink alcohol while I was pregnant. So I had to stop. But my ex husband was an alcoholic, very drunk almost every day and again, and this is one of those reasons why I don't ever want alcohol in my home because I lived with a drunk for four years. And I finally finally my, my mom kind of rescued me, she, we were kind of talking in code language, you know, let's get together on Friday for lunch. And, okay. And then I knew I couldn't leave on Friday because of something he was doing. So I called her and said, Let's get together on Saturday instead. And she was like, Okay, you want me to come get you on Saturday? Yes, yes. Come, come on Saturday. So we were talking in code, and she rescued me. He was very abusive. He was abusive to me and to my daughter. And it was just not a good situation. I needed to get out of it. But I didn't feel like I had any way out of that situation until my mommy. Thank you, mommy. My mom and I haven't always gotten along perfectly. But she rescued me that day. And I went and lived with her for a couple of months before I ended up going to Central Michigan University. No idea why I went to Central, but I'm really glad I did. Because I met my, my forever husband, I don't call him my second husband. He's my forever husband. And while we were both attending Central Michigan University, and I met him at church, what better place to meet your husband?
Tamara Anderson 13:13
There you go. Yes. Let me ask you this, because a lot of people are stuck in situations where they they have an abusive partner. And sometimes they feel they just can't escape. What were some of the things that helped you realize I need to get out and, and have hope that you could change and not go back to the situation because a lot of times, women go back to their abusive partner.
Julie Spencer 13:46
When he threw a ladder at me like one of those little step ladders. And I had my daughter in my arms at the time. That was the day that was the catalyst that made me say, I can't stay here any longer and I everything we owned was in his parents name. So I couldn't like take anything. I mean, I took the clothes, the clothes, we owned my daughter and my clothes and her little like toddler bed. She was three and a half at the time that I left. That's the stuff I took. And we fled. So he did try to get us back like that summer. I worked at a at a bar. Oddly enough. It was the rest of it was a restaurant bar. And I was a good waitress and I made a lot of money which which was a great way to find enough money to live on my own. But that summer I lived with my parents. So it's kind of like if you've got an abusive situation that you need to get out of. You've got to have a place to go. Whether that's a homeless shelter or you know, an apartment somewhere where you can get out, I didn't have a job, I didn't have a car, I didn't have anything. So my mom and dad came and rescued me. And we lived my daughter and I lived with them. And we lived far enough away that he couldn't just come to drag me back. Although he tried by phone, he begged me over and over again, saying he loved me. And you know, he would change, he would stop drinking, everything was going to be great. And I stuck it out. I said no, enough times. That finally he stopped asking. But he did at one point threatened me, he said that, if I either got married, or lived with another man, he would kill me. And he said he would kill us both. Now, total empty threats because he didn't have he didn't have a weapon. But I was strong enough. By the time I was ready to marry my forever husband that when I got engaged to him, I actually called my ex husband up and I said, So are you going to kill us? He was like, What are you talking about? Well, you threatened that you were going to kill us if I got married or lived with a guy that you were going to kill us. And he was like, Well, I was just joking. Like, well, certainly didn't sound like a joke at the time. Yeah. So yeah. And I did cry a little bit when he died. That was about two years ago. Now, I did cry a little bit, he was the father of my child.
Tamara Anderson 16:36
Right. So ultimately, it was the mama bear protective instinct in you to protect your daughter that helps you get the courage to leave for and I was just gonna throw this in that there is a National Domestic Violence hotline that you can call or you can call for someone you're concerned about. And it's 1-800-799-SAFE, or 7233. So if you or someone you know, is really struggling, and needs to get out of a bad situation, there are national domestic violence hotlines here in the United States that you can call and get the help you need. They can get you to battered women's shelter, or sometimes there's abuse going the other way where men are being physically abused by their wives. And so you can call that same number and get the help that you need. So it's good to know, I don't know that the help was as predominant, you know, so many years ago, 20, 30 years ago, but it's a blessing that we have those kinds of resources now, for people who find themselves in these kinds of situations, you know,
Julie Spencer 17:48
This is not easy to get out. But and also, there's the legal aspect that we fought for years in the courts to keep her safe, my daughter There was no proof of the abuse. And so it was his word against mine. And she was too young to tell anybody, although she did tell some things in a counseling session that the counselor did, like testify on our behalf that something happened in the presence of her father. Either he did it, or he knew about it. Right. So it was when you're a three year old that can't fully vocalize what you saw and heard and did. It's really hard to prove abuse. So yeah, there's the legal aspects of of needing to get out of this situation, but realizing that your child might be going right back into that situation. So getting protective services involved immediately. You know, that as a as a battered woman, or or or man that's, that's needing to get you and your child out of situation. Children in a lot of cases, realize that there are a lot of, legal aspects to and so it's almost best not to just leave but to call those lines, those those hotlines and get help from from the start.
Tamara Anderson 19:13
Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.
Julie Spencer 19:17
You’re not weak by asking for help, you are being smart by asking for help because you're getting a foundation in place as you leave. Now, if you're in a dangerous situation, right this second, and someone is hurting you, right this second, get in a car and leave, find a way to get out, maybe go straight to a police station and say I need help right now. You know, don't stay in a situation where you're where you're being hurt or injured right now. Get out.
Tamara Anderson 19:45
Yeah. I love that. And I think it's a great resource for people to know about so that they can you know, that I'm not just leaving and I have nowhere to go. There are people and plans in place if your family isn't supportive than there are organizations there that can help you make that transition away and out of a very dangerous situation. So absolutely, yeah. Oh my goodness, wow. This is fantastic. I didn't know that we'd be diving into that. But tell me a little bit more about getting your official bipolar diagnosis. We're going to take a quick break, but when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
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Tell me a little bit more about getting your official bipolar diagnosis. And how how God played into maybe the beginning of healing. I know it wasn't a complete healing but just guidance.
Julie Spencer 22:25
It's a it's a constant healing, in fact I was in the hospital this summer. Like just just in July. I'm I'm not out of the. And I think that's important to remember with a lot of illnesses. It's not your lack of faith that's not healing you. You can pray every single day for the rest of your life. If there's some type of illness or disability or something that your body is meant to have while on this earth. And that's part of God's plan for you realize that it's not lack of faith that's keeping you from being healed. It's that this just not the right time for you to be healed. You'll have a perfect body once you get to heaven.
Tamara Anderson 23:09
There you go.
Julie Spencer 23:10
But this is this is something on Earth. So what happened was I was definitely struggling, but I had no idea why again, I did not know that I was bipolar. And I actually was in a college class I I was a graduate assistant. So I had to kind of like help teach college classes while I was in my graduate program. And I was standing there administering a test in a chemistry classroom. I mean, like that classroom, it was like a big lecture hall. And I was basically just walking around making sure kids didn't cheat. And I was looking at this wall that had like, huge boxes that the periodic table of elements. So So those those elements, each of them had a box about that big and they were colored and beautiful and and I had been taking some lithium from like an alternative doctor from a chiropractor who had not prescribed but recommended this nutritional supplement that was basically lithium. And I looked at the LI on the chart and I was like, Oh, I take lithium. And I didn't know what for because he wasn't diagnosing me that kind of practice and diagnose medical issues. And I this little thing it said used to treat bipolar disorder. Lithium. I'm like, what? And I went home to my husband and I said I think I have bipolar disorder. And he was like, extreme highs and extreme lows. Yeah, that pretty much describes you know, I was like, oh, okay, well, that's different. That's not something I realized. And I put that in the back of my mind. Again, I was in graduate school.
That was the last thing on my mind was getting treatment for something that I didn't know anything about. So I finished my degree, got my, got my master's degree, went about my life. And everything was just not falling into place. You know, I couldn't find the right job. I wasn't sure if I really should have a job. My kids were young, things were just weird in my life and everything was falling apart. And I found myself very depressed. I had this perfect little life, I had a husband who loved me, four bedroom, two bath house in a beautiful neighborhood with a picket fence going around this perfect little world. How was I depressed? Why was I depressed? And that was when I finally went to a psychiatrist. Because I did a lot of research. And I realized that there was probably I probably needed to get on medication. And of course, I didn't know which one, the lithium I was taking was just a nutritional supplement. And it wasn't like a strong enough dose to actually be considered one medical dose. I went to a psychiatrist because I was at the point where I was so depressed, that I was suicidal, and knew that if I didn't get help, I might do something drastic. And I was thinking about, like, going to the emergency room and admitting myself for help. I said, Well, this is the this is the alternative is to get into a psychiatrist right now. And I did.
And of course, they officially did diagnose me with bipolar. And they got me into counseling. And they told me, they were gonna need to put me on medication, I did start crying, because I've heard that bipolar, once you're on bipolar medication, you're pretty much on it for the rest of your life. I didn't want that. But it is a progressive illness. And so they have had to up my dose over and over and over to the point where I'm now at the maximum dose that I'm allowed to take of that medication. It's called lamictal. It works for some people and doesn't work for others. So it's not something that you can just self diagnose and decide that that's the medicine you need. It's not for everybody, but it was definitely for me, and it changed my life getting this medication, I can function in society. Now. I can hold down a job. In fact, I held down a very stressful job for almost 11 years, I was a public administrator at a conservation district. And so being to be able to do that was I could not have, I don't know how I would have functioned, I wouldn't have been able to hold down this type of job, excuse me, if I had not gotten on medication years ago. But then the stress, I had had so much stress from my job. I had some environmentalists that were basically like, smearing my name. In the paper, I got threatening emails from several professors at a local college, who did not like the results of the water quality studies that I was publishing. And they were important scientific documents that they were trying to prove that I was wrong.
And so when your name is smeared in the paper in, and the environmentalists are basically, basically they, they prevented us from getting funding from our county, like zero, we went down to zero. So if you're, if your department now has $0, and you're trying to figure out how you're going to make payroll, no way to do that. So that was the kind of stuff that I had on my shoulders. And I gotta I was I was scheduled to do a presentation. It was a Tuesday evening in July, the lady who was from she was a professor at Michigan State University, who was in charge of this, she sent me an email sent all of us all the presenters an email saying, Here's the list of people who are going to be in attendance tonight. So you can kind of see if there's anybody that you already know that you might be able to connect with. And I looked at that email and I looked at the list and several of the people on that list. Were some of those environmentalists who I call them the people with the pitchforks. They were mad at me. And the the information I was going to be presenting on this water quality study was exactly what they were mad at me about. So they were going to be sitting in the audience looking at glaring at me. And I just lost it. I burst into tears and I was like, I can't do this. And I just kept crying and crying.
A little while later, my husband found me on the floor unresponsive. And it was obviously that trigger. But it was also the stress that builds up a built up and built up and I wound up on the floor. This is getting real vulnerable here. But I was a little bit suicidal that day. I was actually praying to God, take me home. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be here. I don't want to deal with these people. I don't want to deal with my job. I don't want to deal with all The challenges of being a mom and a wife and, and I can't do this anymore. Take me home, I'm done. And God didn't answer me. Instead, he sent my husband and an ambulance and police and, and they got me into the hospital and I was unresponsive for about four hours. When I finally woke up, one of the first things my husband said to me was, how are you feeling? And I said, sad. And he said, Why are you sad? And he said, and I answered him alive. So basically, this is like, my first two words out of my mouth, was that I was sad. And the reason I was sad was because I was alive. And so I didn't take anything, I didn't try to kill myself. I was just seriously depressed. And it was all stress related. And again, I have this wonderful, perfect life, there's no reason for me to be depressed or suicidal. Well, you know, my daughter, who's a counselor told me that you shouldn't think that way. You're, you're allowed to feel depressed, it doesn't matter how perfect so until your life is, you know, quote, unquote, perfect, there is no perfect. And just because your body is feeling depressed, validate that it's okay for you to feel depressed, and it's okay to get help. They put me on an anti anxiety in addition to the silver metal. And, and I resigned from my job, a job that I loved.
Tamara Anderson 31:37
And I'm good at. But I think I think you hit on some really good points there that sometimes when we're praying for certain thing, that God doesn't always answer the way we think he should answer the way we want him to answer. Sometimes he sends earthly angels to help us find the right solution for us and our physical struggles. Sometimes it may include a trip to the hospital, and then we need to bless the stigma that it's, it's okay to get the help that you need. Right? That yes, and sometimes that may include quitting your job and, and but you're taking care of you. And that's going to look different for all of us. And we shouldn't judge, right?
Julie Spencer 32:25
That’s correct. And actually, I was, I was like, really proud of Simone Biles at the Olympics, because she took herself out of a situation that she was feeling a lot of pressure and stress and her mental health was not perfect. Well, none of us are perfect, but right knew that she needed to get out of that situation. And at the Olympics on live television, she stepped away from something that was super stressful. And I was like, yes, she brought mental health into the international stage in the light of day, not shying away from it. She was saying my mental health is important. My health in general is important. I don't want to hurt myself on an apparatus, because my mental health is out of whack. She brought that to light. And oh, I was just she's my hero. Hero. No, that's ever have a chance to say thank you to her. Simone Biles, if you ever have a chance to hear this message.
Tamara Anderson 33:31
No, I think that's fantastic. And I think it's good that more and more people are speaking up about the importance of taking care of mental health issues, whatever they may be, that a pearl for many, many years and decades and centuries, mental health was just pushed in the background, and oh, yeah, people were, you know, put into places where they, you know, they were hospitalized basically for the rest of their lives because they didn't know what to do with them. And, and I think it's so wonderful now that we have medications that will help people live normal, as normal lives as they can. And function in society, you know. So I think I think the more we talk about it, the less the more we break the stigma. And we say, Okay, some people struggle with this, and they have worth their children of God and we need to love them and help them live the highest quality life that they possibly can. So
Julie Spencer 34:28
I still there's still quite a bit of stigma around it. And I think that I'm still kind of rejected in society because of my bipolar because people think that I'm unstable in so I, I've, I've kind of like lost friends and partnerships of people who are kind of afraid of dealing with me. And it's interesting because there was this guy who used to come to our church and he's moved now to a different area, so I don't see him anymore. He had bipolar disorder, and he was always trying to Talk to me because he was so excited to have somebody else in his life that knew what he was going through. But I found myself backing away from him because I was like, I can't deal with his like spastic nature, it was too much for me. So if if I'm spastic and other people are having to deal with me being spastic, then I kind of understand if they're pulling back from me, I'm able to take my emotions out of it, you know, not to not get offended, it's so easy to get offended. Yeah, somebody doesn't want you as part of their little circle of friends, so to speak. Or, or in a professional situation, it's okay for me to be offended. But I think that it shows a lot of strength for me to be able to say, Okay, I'm not going to be offended, because I recognize that they're trying to protect them, just like I'm trying to protect me. And just so it's okay, maybe that I kind of locked myself in my little room. I'm actually kind of thankful for zoom in for working remotely, and being able to have my little cocoon that people think of me as very outgoing and extroverted because I'm very bubbly and peppy, and unable to reach out to other people and be friendly, but really have like, all the classic signs of being an introvert. Partly because when I'm in those external situations, I have a tendency to kind of, you know, back away, be a little bit more closed off. And then when I am done with that situation, I need time to decompress and lock yourself in a little room be in a little cocoon. And that's okay.
Tamara Anderson 36:53
Yeah, it's okay. And it's good that you recognize what you need to decompress. I think we all hit high stress points in our lives. And recognizing, okay, and feeling stressed out, and then finding things that you can do to decompress is super, super important. So you brought up some amazing, amazing points, if you if part of your decompression is sitting in a room by yourself, great. If it's reading, you know, escape into a book, try to stay away, try to stay away from the more dangerous ways of escaping, like we discussed earlier in the podcast about alcohol and drugs and stuff like that, because those don't help you in the long run. So find healthy ways to de stress and be able to manage your stress and be wise about it get get professional help if you need it, you know,
Julie Spencer 37:47
But my husband is kind of freaked out by the fact that he found me unresponsive. And so he is like way more cognizant of what's going on in my life. And one of the things that we have found is that if he can just wrapped me in his arms, that that really helps me. And it's not like all the time. It's not like I have to use him as a crutch. But there's certain times when I'm feeling really stressed that I'll just say, just hold me for a couple minutes. And that helps me
Tamara Anderson 38:13
know that's really good. And I remember researching a couple years ago about hugs. And when when people hug you, your body actually releases a chemical called oxytocin. And yeah, it is it gives you it gives you a natural high. And so that feeling of being hugged, so that that is actually a really great coping mechanism because your body starts producing something to help you feel better when somebody hugs you. So there you go, there's your tip for the day. Give a hug or get a hug if you need one. Oh my goodness. Well, this has been so fun. And I'm glad that we've been able to tackle some of these critically important issues to talk about. What Bible verse Have you found that spend meaningful to you throughout your struggles? Julie?
Julie Spencer 39:03
PAGE 1923 I think I can quote it. And this is a really silly one. Oh, that my words were no written. Oh, that they were printed in a book. Because and I think at the time that in Job, he's he's kind of a little bit chastising himself because he's saying, you know, gosh, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be upset by what I don't have. I should be thankful for what I do. But I think that we kind of all have that feeling of I wish that my voice can be heard that that other people could could hear me and see me and know me. But of course it has to do with the writer in me as a novelist as as an author. Oh, that my words were now written. Oh, that they were printed in a book so I can actually like hold the book in my hand and then read it and have somebody else made it and and yeah, and that's that's me being heard, is to have somebody else read my words. I would almost rather give my books away, too. Just so that somebody can read them than to sell them. It's not about the money. It's about somebody hearing my words. Yeah, that's part of what that Scripture does for me.
Tamara Anderson 40:09
Well, and I think it kind of goes back to what what we were talking about your, your goal being originally is that we can change the world one story at a time. And and I love your story. I love your story, and I can see why you incorporate some of these important issues and values into your books. Now, Julie, there are going to be people out there who are going to say, Oh, I love Julian, I love her story. I want to read her books. Tell us where we can find you online and where we can get your books.
Julie Spencer 40:39
Okay, so my author website is authorjuliespencer.com. So all one word authorjuliespencer.com, but my actual pen name like on Amazon if you want to buy my books, I put my middle initial in there. So it's L so it's Julie L. Spencer. So that's why I kind of always go by my my pen name is always Julie L. Spencer. And I spend a lot of time on Facebook, actually. And that's where you can reach me on Facebook and authorjuliespencer.com and on Amazon as the pen name Julie L. Spencer.
Tamara Anderson 41:16
That's wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story of hope for not being ashamed to tackle topics that are hard topics like mental health, alcohol abuse, the out of it. I mean, these are stories that that need to be told they need to be shared, because there are so many people struggling with them out there. And so thank you for being willing to share your story of hope with us today.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember, God loves you.
You can find the transcription of today's episode here: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/julie-l-spencer-learning-to-live-with-bipolar-disorder