Dr. Bill Bach: How Divorce, Cancer and God Changed my Perspective
Bill Bach never expected to face divorce or lymphoma in his life, but he found he could navigate any challenge with God’s help and by changing his perspective.
Discussion Points
The place he’d recommend visiting after traveling and living all over the world
Navigating the shock of divorce and it’s ensuing grief with God’s help
How asking God “What lack I yet?” and “What wouldst thou have me do? helped him grow
Why he made the decision to not let himself stay stuck being depressed and alone
How sick he got before getting a Lymphoma diagnosis
Why he didn’t want to do chemotherapy, but why he’s glad he did it
What it means when you’re not getting an answer to prayers
Why it is important to keep asking and knocking with different questions to God
Our trials can give us an opportunity to change our perspective
The story of a young boy on top of a mountain in Pakistan that changed his perspective
The story of a terminally ill young boy who asked “Why not me” in his challenge
Tips for Those Struggling
You’re not alone
Others have experienced what you are going through right now
The Savior has experienced all sorrows and suffering and can help you. Reach out to Him and He can help you overcome any struggle.
There is something to learn, or a silver lining in the clouds of every storm.
Be courageous with God’s help to walk your path.
When you think you are humble enough, you may still have a ways to go.
My Favorite Quote
Bill said, “From adversity and trials great growth comes.” I think this is one of the hardest things about the challenges we face—the growing pains.
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #lymphoma #divorce #choice #perspective #growth #challenges #trials #courage
Transcript
Bill 0:02
And I had to face that possibility of dying. Once one faces that, the realization I came to through prayer and understanding was that death is not the end. Having come to grips with that, you can face the dragon and move forward and slay the dragon because there's no more fear. Realizing that life is a choice, and I chose to live and came out fighting for life.
Tamara Anderson 0:41
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host, Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments. My guest today has quite a colorful worldwide appreciation because he attended school in places like Beirut, Lebanon, a Washington D.C. suburb, and Ankara, Turkey and all of that before he graduated from high school. He earned an undergraduate degree at Brigham Young University, followed by an MBA from Syracuse and a midlife PhD from the University of Idaho. He worked in banking for 19 years in New York City, and Guatemala in Central America. He also has had the opportunity to run the University of Phoenix, Idaho campus for eight years as well as running and owning his own property management company. Life hasn't slowed him down much, but there have been a few roadblocks like cancer. I am pleased to present, Dr. Bill Bach. Bill, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Bill 2:05
Yes, very much.
Tamara Anderson 2:07
Awesome. So I have to ask you, you have lived in 35 countries throughout your life, which just blows my mind. Where was one of your favorite places that you either lived or visited around the world?
Bill 2:26
I think the country of Italy stands out as one of the most fun. The people are very animated, they can't talk without showing you, and to watch a traffic jam in downtown Rome and see everybody get out of their car and yell at each other. They're having fun while they're doing it. Then finally, everybody's done. They get in their car, and off they go. I mean, Americans talk about each other behind their backs. Whereas the Italians, they get it out and get it over with. And then they're fine.
Tamara Anderson 3:10
Something we could probably learn from them, huh Bill?
Bill 3:14
Let me just mention the island of Capri where the Blue Grotto is. That is a tourist attraction. As a teenager I slept on the beach. I had traveled by thumb hitchhiking from Germany, down to Italy. I got up before daylight and hiked across the island and swam into the Blue Grotto alone. It was the most amazing, eerie, exciting experience. The feelings that came through at the time were just amazing. So that would be one of my favorite countries and interesting things to do.
Tamara Anderson 3:57
That sounds absolutely amazing. Italy is on my bucket list. You mentioned before we started recording that you lived life backwards. You did all your traveling in your beginning years, and you've kind of settled down more in your older years. But I want to go to Italy when I grow up.
Bill 4:17
There you go.
Tamara Anderson 4:19
Yes, it is one thing and one place that I would love to visit in the world. Maybe when all this pandemic stuff is a little more under control, I can hitchhike my way to Italy.
Bill 4:31
I would encourage people, if you go to the tourist places, you get one vision of the world. If you go to the non-tourist places, like I would say go to the Middle East. I mean, I lived in Pakistan for a couple years. One needs to see poverty. One needs to see how millions of people survive with so little, in order to understand and appreciate the vast blessings that we have.
Tamara Anderson 5:08
It's such an amazing perspective. And I think until you've seen some of these places you visited in the world, it's hard to appreciate what you have.
Bill 5:20
Exactly. And we have so much in this country, it is the most blessed country on the planet.
Tamara Anderson 5:30
You are right, in many, many ways. So life has been up and down and all over the place for you, literally, around the globe. What are some of the hardest things that have taught you the most that you have experienced in your life?
Bill 5:46
Well, the unfortunate experience of divorce, took me by surprise, took me to thoughts and experiences that I never planned on, never believed would happen. It threw me so much and so far that I've written a book called “The Healing Process After Divorce,” and explained what I learned from that tragic experience, and how I came out able to love again, and move on in life. Unfortunately, some of us go through that. And that one threw me for the most distance and just hardship to overcome than any experience I've had.
Tamara Anderson 6:38
Wow, why don't you take me to that? You talked about feelings that you'd never thought you'd have. Why don't you share some of that with me, so that we can maybe draw some of those lessons out?
Bill 6:50
Well, I thought I had life pretty well together, and I thought I could deal with anything. Come to find out, I was still human, and had feelings, just devastating feelings, and discovered that I needed to go through the process from anger, through forgiveness, through having to move on, and rekindle feelings of perfection again. I didn't think I would have to do that. I thought, “Okay, I'll just sail through this like everything else I've sailed through in life.” But that was not the case. If we truly shove our emotions, then they don't leave us. They are deep inside. They will come back to haunt us until we deal with them properly and we overcome and we understand. It was surprising how much I had to realize, which I didn't realize, at the beginning. I thought, “I did not cause this, I did not bring this on, it's all her fault.” Come to realize, I had a part to play. That was very hard on me. Once I took ownership for the way I had changed, things that I missed, then I was able to forgive others and forgive myself. That was a healing process that I didn't expect to go through. So I wanted to share that process with others.
Tamara Anderson 8:44
Absolutely. Let me ask you, how do you think God helped you through that process? Did you feel him at all as you were going through perhaps the mucky parts of all those emotions?
Bill 9:00
He's such a huge part. He can help us discover ourselves. You know the phrase, “What lack I yet?” If we ask that question, we have to be open to it. He cannot teach us something we're not looking for. He will help create those experiences in our life that He knows will cause us to look for causes, to seek causes to reach out to Him. In that process, then the answers come. They're often answers we didn't want to hear.
Tamara Anderson 9:43
That's usually how it is right? I remember once I thought I needed to pray for more patience. I have learned I don't need to pray for more patience because God is really good about answering that. But it's that same concept that He'll teach us when we want to learn. Sometimes we go through a hard time, and then we learn perhaps what we needed to learn even though we didn't ask for it.
Let me ask you about the healing process because sometimes when you're hurting, and things aren't, perhaps, going as great as you would like them to go, you're feeling discouraged, you're feeling depressed. What were some of the key things that you found helpful in healing?
Bill 10:41
If we fight that process, and we fight the healing with an attitude like, “This shouldn't have happened to me, it's not my fault, I just want to get over it,” we're probably going to miss the opportunity of learning what we need to learn. So being open, seeking to know, and then taking on that which we need to learn, and make the changes in our life, then the healing comes much more quickly. We get through it and we move on.
Tamara Anderson 11:21
What did that process look like for you? How were you able to have those discussions with God and really pick up on what he was trying to teach you, I guess, through the process?
Bill 11:33
Getting in the right frame of mind, and listening. And in asking, realizing that the answer probably isn't going to come in that moment. We may have an inkling. But as we go through the days, and the weeks, and the months following the seeking, then we are taught in the ways that we learn the best.
Tamara 12:02
What were some of the ways that you felt God helped teach you the best? Like what is the way Dr. Bill learns?
Bill 12:12
Well, I'm a nature guy. I love the outdoors, I climb mountains, I hunt and fish and just love the outdoors. So God would teach me through nature. One day, a rather devastating event, very early on, and before the divorce, when she was pulling away and changing, and I was resisting and hanging on. I actually came around a corner on a road and there were two dove. Dove mate for life. I don't know if people know that. So they mate with one other of their kind, and stay together until one of them may pass away. Then they would mate again. But I came around this corner and there were two dove. It was in the spring. So it's a time of year that dove are mating, nesting. And they were close together. One of them hit the car and the feathers flew everywhere. And my heart goes, “Oh my gosh, I just killed a dove that mated for life. And what does that mean? And what does that do?” And the Lord told me instantly at that moment, “I need to let go.” And it was at that point, you know, that's the way I was taught, “Okay, it's over.” And I need to not drag this out and hinder it and cause problems by hanging on. So God will teach us in in the ways that we like to learn anything in life. I learned by nature. I see things, I understand things, and then can translate those into my life.
Tamara Anderson 14:02
Hmm. That's beautiful. I love how, individually, God created that little lesson for you. It shows how well he knows you. He knew that this was a lesson that you could learn in this particular way. So it shows us God's love. Did you feel his love for you through that lesson?
Bill 14:34
I cried.
Tamara Anderson 14:40
Amazing. Oh, my goodness. So what other lessons do you teach in this book of yours about getting through divorce? Obviously, having God help you through the process and watching for how He teaches you and your own individual way and being open to ask the right questions. Listen for answers. What other tips can you share that helped you get through that divorce and learn to love again?
Bill 15:09
I think being willing to take risks, to move into areas that are uncomfortable for us, areas that we may not be ready to go. I went to various singles organizations of actually different denominations. Even though I wasn't ready to make a change to searching for another mate yet, but needing to see what that life was like, so to speak. I went to a particular meeting in Salt Lake one day. At that church meeting, there were a couple 100 singles, they're attending church. What I noticed, especially in Sunday school class and the time for discussion, was how down they were. This is kind of a group analysis, but predominantly, they were depressed, and they had lost, the light was gone out of their eyes. They were not seeking, they were stuck. I took that experience and felt very cold and realized, I don't want to end up that way. That's not what's in it for me. I've got to learn how to change and seek again and love again. Because I have a lot of life left. I think living with a soulmate is an amazing experience, one that I treasure. I wanted the Lord's help in getting through where I was at and getting to where I needed to go. So that was an experience that taught me, “Okay, there's got to be another way here. And I will find it.”
Tamara Anderson 17:14
It was almost like you needed an example of what you didn't want. You didn't want to get stuck. But sometimes, I think, we fear the unknown, and so sometimes we're willing to stay stuck. Because what's around the bend could be new, and different, and scary. Did you find the same advice to be true, just turning to God and talking to Him about, “I don't want to get stuck and help me to get through this?” What did you do so that you didn't have that same challenge of being stuck and not being able to heal?
Bill 17:59
Well asking the question, “What would thou have me do in the situation that I'm in, knowing where I want to go? What would thou have me do?” Then be open, for the next days, weeks, period of time, and see what impressions come and repeat. So I had the impression, “You need to go to these events.” There were single events where there were speakers, and classes, and activities. I went to those and found a lot of the same kind of attitude and people that I had seen before. But occasionally there would be someone with light in their eyes. They would be interesting to be around. You could tell that they were different. Those are the people that I would talk to, and listen to, and grow from, and be willing to go in the directions that they went in. A lot of that has to do with accepting my part in things and overcoming that.
Tamara Anderson 19:10
I'm sure it took a lot of courage to reenter the single scene.
Bill 19:23
Actually, you have no choice because you're single but to begin to interact, yes, that took a major decision.
Tamara Anderson 19:35
Did you have to, kind of, talk yourself through it in your mind like, “Okay, Bill, come on. You can do this,” or anything like that? I'm curious what your process was to be able to kind of pep yourself up to do something that was probably way out of your comfort zone.
Bill 19:54
It comes back to discovering one's place with the Lord and saying, “Okay, should I be single the rest of my life? If not, what's the process I need to go through? How will I know?” And getting that confirmation that the Lord is going to be with you. Then, when you have the impression that you should go to this event, then you can partner with the Lord, and go there knowing that you will be guided, that you will learn, that the right things are going to happen.
Tamara Anderson 20:34
I love how you said that, that you are partnered with the Lord. Because often we feel so alone in our challenges. But yet, when we, I guess, yoke ourselves to God in our trials, we don't have to go through them alone. You’re a good example of that. That even though people to look at you, you are going walking in by yourself, you're walking in with God. I like that image, because it's a powerful image to create, mentally, that, “Hey, God's told me to do this. And I'm gonna go do it.” Yeah, it's scary, but at least I'm not alone. Kind of like that.
Bill 21:28
That's what we have to do. And we're not alone.
Tamara Anderson 21:31
Yeah, yeah. So eventually, you healed and you found a wonderful woman.
Bill 21:39
Absolutely. And she had four children. And I had five. We combined the families. We raised hers through their teenage years. It's all been wonderful.
Tamara Anderson 21:51
Oh, my goodness, that is incredible. So your journey helped you find a new love of your life, which is wonderful.
Bill 22:01
Yes.
Tamara Anderson 22:02
But life hasn't been smooth sailing since then, has it? Why don't you tell me a little bit, you've been going through a really difficult time with a cancer diagnosis. Why don't you tell me a little bit about that?
Bill 22:20
Well, I need to talk about how it kind of came about. I started not feeling well in various ways and feeling weaker. I went to a chiropractor, because I had pain in my hip. I worked with him for several months. He repaired everything that needed repairing, however, that pain did not change. So he was baffled. He suggested I go to an MD and I did that. Over the months, various diagnoses were attempted. I had to walk with a cane, and then with crutches, having to use a wheelchair, then from wheelchair to pretty much bedridden. Thirty-some blood tests and bone scans and all kinds of scans and imaging done. Finally, they discovered a growth on my left kidney. They call that a lesion. Then they could diagnose and biopsy that and determined I have a disease called lymphoma.
Tamara Anderson 23:45
Now, why don't you tell me what lymphoma is, for those of us who don't know, so that we can understand what it is what it looks like, and all of that.
Bill 23:56
So lymphoma is a form of cancer. It's a cancer of the blood. Because of that, it's in the entire body. When they talk about, “Can you get over this? Can I be cured?” The answer is no. Lymphoma is not cured, but it can be put into remission, meaning that you're not feeling the effects of it, even though it may be rather dormant in your body and can come back alive. A better detailed definition would be your white blood cells go overactive. They are actually being created by the marrow in a malignant state, meaning that a portion of them are dangerous and overactive. They can't discern between a disease in the body that they should work on versus a regular red blood cell. So your white blood cells are now attacking your red blood cells and killing good things in your body voraciously to the point that you're now in danger of having lack of the good things that you need in your blood, because these white cells are wiping it out. So they treat it with chemotherapy, which goes in and kills a lot of your white blood cells, down to the point that the red blood cells are now not in danger. Your body starts to adjust and your marrow starts producing more proper ones. Over a period of six months of monthly infusions, they can get it into remission.
Tamara Anderson 25:51
I know chemotherapy is quite hard on the body. What has this looked like for you?
Bill 26:01
It’s really interesting, because from what I had heard about chemotherapy, I actually felt it would be more comfortable to just die from cancer than to put up with chemotherapy. So I had to be converted to the possibility that chemotherapy might not be as bad as I had anticipated.
Tamara Anderson 26:22
at least your honor spell.
Bill 26:25
Come to find out, as soon as I got that first treatment, within days, I felt better than I did having the lymphoma running rampant in my body. Really, that was a pleasant surprise. I could tell right away that it was working. Within a week, I had less pain in my hip. I knew that it was having a good impact in the right way in my body. So I became friends with chemotherapy quickly, and can now say really good things about it. It's not to be feared. It takes a five-hour infusion, which is not painful, you just rest during that process. Then several days after is your low point where it's starting to have its major impact on the body. I felt fatigued, low on energy. But I'd never felt nauseous, which is often a side effect. They gave me various medicines to counteract the side effects without disrupting what the chemo is doing. So altogether, I've been able to do a lot of things and remain fairly active. I can get around a lot better than when I was on crutches or wheelchair. I'm walking without any assistance, and I'm doing physical projects and doing well.
Tamara Anderson 28:16
So what are some of the lessons that you feel you have learned so far from lymphoma?
Bill 28:21
Let's get the hardest one out of the way. First, let's do when I hit the bottom, and I couldn't walk, and I had to pull myself out of bed on a rope that was stuck in the window and the window closed so I could pull on it. I actually had to face the idea that this may just keep going down. This was before I was on chemo and before they knew what it was. I had to face that possibility of dying. Once one faces that, the realization I came to through prayer and understanding was death is not the end. Death is actually a new beginning. It's a beginning in a pretty exciting way that we can't even comprehend. Having come to grips with that, then you can face the dragon, and move forward, and slay the dragon because there's no more fear. With the help of the Lord, you start regaining and building that mental attitude, realizing that life is a choice at that point, and I chose to live and came out fighting for life.
Tamara Anderson 29:58
I can imagine that the transition from feeling like, “This can kill me,” to, “I'm fighting, I'm making this choice to fight,” probably was more than just snapping your fingers.
Bill 30:13
Exactly.
Tamara Anderson 30:15
Tell me about that process in your mind. Because I know a lot of people, especially right now with the pandemic going on, are facing discouragement on a daily basis and feel like they want to give up. Talk us through the process you went through in your mind to be able to make that choice to fight for life.
Bill 30:40
I couldn't see how things could get any worse. If death is not that bad of an option, move forward with confidence. Whichever way things go, I'm going to come out fine. So pleading with the Lord for understanding and learning all the lessons that He had in mind for me. Taking me to that level of humility, I was then able to start climbing out. Climbing out was a decision. To begin thinking and seeing myself as healthy again. I think that's one of the most important things is wherever you're at in a downward spiral, picture, it being gone. Picture being perfectly healthy, picture being able to run again, picture sunny days, and fun times, again. Picture being alive, and alert, and attentive, and fun with other people, and interacting. The more you can picture that, the more you can get that into your mind and seek that, and pray for that. Then you're focused in a positive way. Those positive thoughts bring a lot of healing, and open a lot of doors and possibilities for us as we stay positive with the Lord and seek His guidance in guiding us to what we see we really want.
Tamara Anderson 32:37
That's a really powerful image to create, in your mind.
Bill 32:44
Exactly.
Tamara Anderson 32:47
You're not the only person who's ever mentioned this power of visualizing on my podcast. So I always find it so fascinating when people talk about it, that they can just say, “Okay, I'm going to stop these downward thoughts. I'm going to start thinking about how I want it to be exactly.” And there's power in that. So in some ways, it is a choice to say, “I choose to imagine this,” because our brains are powerful.
You talked about working on that with God's help, asking God to help you with that. So maybe if you're stuck in a downward spiral, maybe the first step is praying to God and saying, “I want to start visualizing a positive outcome to this spiral. I want to come out on the other side,” like you said, “I want to picture myself walking again. I want to picture myself having fun again, living life to the fullest,” and asking God to help you begin to change those negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
We're gonna take a quick break, but when we get back, we're going to have Dr. Bill Bach tell us a little bit more about things he's learned, tips he would share with those who are struggling, and an amazing change in perspective that he had as a 17 year old boy on top of the mountain in Pakistan.
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And we're back. I've been talking to Dr. Bill Bach about his experience with divorce, lymphoma, and now we're on to lessons learned. Bill, what other lessons can you share with us that you have learned from your struggles?
Bill 36:06
I think He's tried to teach us that process through so many scriptures that we sometimes don't realize the full impact of, “Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you.” We have to start the process, He will then open the door that we knocked on.
Tamara Anderson 36:29
I had never thought about visualizing with that scripture before. That's a really good way to think about it. It's us saying, “I'm going to knock. Yeah, I think I need to stop this downward spiral. Will you please open the door and help me do this?” That's beautiful.
Bill 36:48
If He doesn't answer the first time we knock, we don't conclude that he's not there. We knock until we get an answer because sometimes we're not in that position of being humble enough to accept what's on the other side of the door. So knock again and knock again. There will be an answer, that I can promise, and that He has promised.
Tamara Anderson 37:18
Have you ever had to have God teach you the right thing to pray for? Like, to change the way you're asking for something?
Bill 37:30
He does that by not answering. Then I know I've asked the wrong question. I may be asking for a Mercedes, when I should be asking for a bicycle. The bicycle will make me strong enough to then become what I need to be to have other things happen.
Tamara Anderson 37:58
I love that. So perhaps the answer, if you feel you're not getting answers, is God helping me to figure out the right question to ask.
Bill 38:07
Right? Or ask another question. And another question. Until we get an answer.
Tamara Anderson 38:14
What do you think was one of the questions you had to change and learn to ask differently?
Bill 38:22
I was asking to be healed at first. Then if I asked, “What do I need to learn from this, in order to be ready to be healed?” Then I would be open to answers like, “You haven't hit the bottom yet,” or, “You haven't learned all that you need to learn yet about experiencing pain.” I mean, we came to earth to learn about ourselves, and to understand life, and to return love. If we came and we never experienced pain to the extent that He feels we need to understand it in order to be effective in our next realm, then I better get with the program and be open to experiencing some pain, or I'm gonna have to experience it over and over again until I get the message. Yeah, that's not an answer we really want to hear, is you haven't hit the bottom yet.
Tamara 39:25
No, it's not!
Bill 39:30
But that's one of the lessons I had to learn.
Tamara Anderson 39:32
That is a really beautiful process, but you probably didn't like it very much at the time. Oh my goodness. Now, let me ask you that you're writing another book about perspective.
Bill 39:50
Exactly.
Tamara Anderson 39:52
Tell me a little bit about this and what has inspired you to write about perspective and why.
Bill 40:00
This has been growing in me since I was 17 years old. Let me tell you the title because that'll help explain. “The Beginning Perspective,” and then the subtitle is, “The Greatest Determinant in Your Life.” Now we Christians know who the greatest determinant in our life is, and that's the Savior. But our perspective of knowing that that's the Savior is a belief. We have lots of beliefs in our lives, limiting beliefs that hold us back. That's why we get stuck. We talked about seeing those that are stuck, because they're not open to changing and moving on. We get stuck by limiting beliefs all the time. We tend to believe that our experience in life is reality. It is, it's our reality. And then we base our beliefs on what we experienced. That's the only reality we are willing to accept and tell, unless something shakes us out of that or we're open to a new possibility. That usually occurs with things like lymphoma, divorce.
Our trials causes us to question how this could happen. When we start asking those kinds of questions, and learning from those answers, then we can be open to a new belief, which is a new perspective. So at age 17, within the country of Pakistan, where my father was teaching school, I think he wanted my sister and I out of the house for a while, because he was just getting into his new job there. He arranged for my sister and I to travel with a Pakistani couple to a mountainous region that was totally incredible in the foothills of the Himalayas. We went by Jeep on a one way uphill the first half of the day, and then you park because the Jeeps coming down or going down the other half of the day, because the road is so narrow and so treacherous.
Anyway, long story short, we get to a way station, we'll call it at the summit at 12,000 feet. The mountains go up from there. So at this way station was a Pakistani family that took care of it and cooked the meals and took care of people that came there. We were the only ones there, the four of us, the Pakistani couple and my older sister and I, and this Pakistani couple that lived there. They had a little boy, let's say the age of seven. He would run around the place. His eyes were totally incredible, they sparkled with life, full of energy. He was barefoot all the time. The temperature would drop into the way below freezing at night. In the daytime, it might thaw the ground and it might not. And he was barefoot. Running around the outlet. We never saw shoes on him.
Anyway, we asked his parents what his name was one evening. We were there two different evenings. We'd have dinner with his parents. They said his name means ruler of the universe. That just hit me so hard that these people were living at the top of the world with nothing. They did not have transportation. No TV. They did have electricity, one light bulb hanging in the middle of each room. And they would name their child “ruler of the universe.” That taught me that there are people who see a lot more in life than the life that I had known up to that point in the United States as an American youth. That taught me that there's different perspectives that can create different results, if we are open to it.
Tamara Anderson 44:53
That is beautiful, and you've kept that with you all these years. It seems that that story has kind of woven a thread throughout your life of different perspectives. I can change my perspective in my life. Do you think, I've often wondered this, Bill, that perhaps one of the reasons God sent us here to Earth was to help us gain a different perspective?
Bill 45:29
Hit the nail on the head, that is really the whole reason. Yeah.
Tamara Anderson 45:35
Yeah, to help you see things in different ways and experience and learn things in different ways. I know that some of my biggest “aha” moments have come at my moments of greatest struggle, when I, on bended knee, and usually in tears, have had a heart to heart conversation with God where He teaches me something. It changes my perspective. It sounds like you've had several of those instances in your life too.
Bill 46:08
You would think I would get better at learning without having to have the trial quite so drastic.
Tamara Anderson 46:18
I know, I know. I wish that so many of these things we can learn without going through the muck, and the mud, and the scraped knees, and the wheelchairs, and the answer and stuff like that. But somehow, since God knows us so uniquely, and individually, He knows the things that will teach us the most, hopefully, in the least painful way. Oh, my goodness, perspective. That is beautiful. I love that. That's really, really cool.
So let me ask you this, what tips would you share with somebody who is in perhaps one of those moments right now, who is really, really struggling with, I don't know, some extreme challenge in their life? Whether it be divorce, or cancer, or some other diagnosis, or mental illness, perhaps that they're struggling with, which has been even more severe due to the pandemic. What tips would you give them? What nuggets would you share with them that have helped you during your journey?
Bill 47:34
Realize that they are not alone, that others have probably experienced what they're experiencing. Realize that we have a higher power and a Savior, who knows us, who has been through far worse than anything we will go through and recognize that there is something for us to learn. There is a silver lining in the storm clouds of every storm. As we seek the Lord's help in understanding that, then we will have the courage to move forward in whatever direction that may go.
I heard this story once of a TV crew that wanted to interview terminally ill children. They went to the children's hospital in Salt Lake. As they talk to different children, one young man was asked how he felt about the situation that he was in. He said, “Most of the kids here are saying, ‘Why me?’” He said, “I learned instead to say, ‘Why not me? Why not? I have this experience. Why not? I go through it and accept it for what it is.’” Now, that doesn't mean that we should just take what comes without asking, without inquiring. But it could give us the courage to accept where we're at, at that moment in time, and to truly seek with humility until we get an answer that we know came from the right source. No answer does not mean there is no answer. It means we may not have asked the right question yet. So I would encourage people to recognize that that higher power is always there. That there is something to be learned and we can learn that and that humility. When we think we're have hit the point where we have humility, we may have a way yet to go.
Tamara Anderson 50:06
You speak from experience? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, such amazing words of wisdom there.
Bill 50:17
I think being willing to recognize that from adversity, from trials, great growth comes. One of the phrases that came to me while writing, “The Healing Process After Divorce,” is, “Don't give me sympathy during the trials of my faith, because from them, I will grow to new heights.” And understanding that, before I could scarcely understand.
Tamara Anderson 50:51
That's really profound. I like that a lot. It's true that often we rebound better and stronger than we went into the situation. Sure is hard when we're down at the bottom.
Bill 51:09
Hang on.
Tamara Anderson 51:11
That's right. Hang on, you'll come rebound better and stronger. I love that. I love that so, so much. So let me ask you, Bill, through all your ups and downs, has there been a Bible verse that has come to mean a little more to you, that has spoken to you?
Bill 51:31
There are many. I think John 16:33 is the one I would go to, where the Savior is being quoted by John as having said, “In this world, you will have trouble.” We get that. But take heart. And He says, “I have overcome the world.” Because he has overcome the world, and He has His hand out to us, with that hand, and with the price he has paid, we too, can overcome because of what he has done for us. That's our hope. That's our faith. That's our knowledge. And that will happen.
Tamara Anderson 52:28
It's such a comforting scripture when you are in trouble, to know that don't give up. Yeah, I have hope, have faith that God has overcome it, that Jesus Christ has overcome it. But that if you're yoked with Him, He can help you overcome as well. He can help you overcome any trouble. I guess that is a powerful verse of hope. Oh, my goodness, thank you so much for sharing that, Dr. Bill.
There are going to be people who have listened to your story today. Maybe they’ve had a divorce themselves, or perhaps they're going through cancer, who will want to reach out and connect with you. How can they find you online? How can they find your books? Would you mind just sharing that with us?
Bill 53:19
Yeah, I think the easiest way will be just click on Facebook, and then type in, “author William Bach,” and it'll have my previous book, “The Healing Process,” which would actually work with any kind of healing: separation from a loved one, a death, divorce, or, you know, to get over something really hard. There's just a lot of positive affirmations and ways of overcoming difficulty.
Tamara Anderson 53:50
You have a website, right?
Bill 53:52
I have a website, which also would be found by searching “Author William K. Bach Jr.,” in that case, but I think they would find it with the William Bach also. And then there's links to Amazon to find the books.
Tamara Anderson 54:11
Wonderful. What I'll do is I will put all these links in the show notes so that people can find those a little more easily.
Bill, thank you so much for being willing to dive into, perhaps, some of the not so fun parts of your life so that you could share visions of hope with others and give them that just that glimmer. Even though things may be on a downward spiral, that by changing their perspective, and by pleading to God for help, they can pull themselves out of that downward spiral and have hope in the future. Again, this has been just such a powerful interview.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website, storiesofhopepodcast.com. There, you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript, and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared, or quote, or a scripture verse that they really, really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling, with hope to carry on, and with the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember God loves you.