4 Surefire Steps to Solve Life's Problems
Tamara K. Anderson tells a story in her life about a time when she felt completely overwhelmed, the answer she received, and the 4 steps to problem solve any situation with God's help.
My Story Of Feeling Overwhelmed
In this episode I take you to a time in my life as a young mother when life was very overwhelming. I had 4 children ages: 7 years, 6 years, 2 1/2 years and 6 months. The challenge: only one of my children could communicate with me verbally. That is because my 6 year old Nathan and my 2 1/2 year old Jacob were on the autism spectrum. Nathan was challenging and wouldn't stay dressed, tantrumed because he couldn't communicate, and smeared his poop into the carpet every few days.
Jacob was so smart and capable at escaping our home and running straight toward danger because he had no fear. Once we found him climbing the ladder onto a neighbors roof, running into the street or once he almost jumped into a neighbor's pool.
My days were long and my nights were even longer since kiddos on the spectrum have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep (plus I had a sleeping baby).
Exhausted as I was, I was devastated when a much anticipated family walk ended in disaster. It was the straw which broke the camel's back and I fell to my knees in prayer where I poured out my grief to God.
I promise I will now share with you a solution and then the resolution of the story.
4 Steps To Solve Life's Problems
Connect & Ask. This means to find a place to talk to God openly and honestly about our situations and challenges and then ask for help.
Listen & Record. This means take time to listen for ideas, inspiration and answers you will get and record them so you will remember to act on them.
Plan & Act. Sometimes we need to brainstorm or plan how we will break down how we will act on our impression. Then we can act on it.
Repeat. When we take action we will either find success or have a failure/learning lesson. If we succeed, we can repeat the process and ask God to teach us the next baby step in our life. If we fail, we go back and ask God to help us figure out the solution.
Promise
Answers come. They came for me. That night as I prayed to God he answered, "Tamara, this is normal for you." This changed my perspective to realize He knew me personally. He knew my name. He knew my situation and He would help me figure out how to solve problems in my own "normal for me" way.
Seven years later our family decided to hike Delicate Arch in Arches National Park in Utah. This was a huge undertaking! My husband and I prayed and asked God for help. We listened and recorded our ideas and thoughts. Then we made a plan: We would write on a piece of paper what we were doing to communicate with Nathan and then give him an iPod and headphones to distract him. We then began the hike.
My sweet family who couldn't even walk around the block together before then did the 3 mile, uphill hike to Delicate Arch. We did it together. It was a miracle.
We have since repeated this process and had many more successful hikes.
Invitation
Will you use these steps to problem solve in your life? I promise God is anxiously awaiting to connect and help you find your "normal for me" solution. He knows you. He knows your problem and He knows the solution if you will ask.
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #questions #answers #God #prayer #steps #autism #autismmom
Transcript
0:02
Have you ever been so completely overwhelmed by a problem that you have no idea how to solve it? If you've ever felt that way, first of all, you're not alone. But stay tuned because I'm going to give you four amazing steps that will help you problem solve whatever your situation is, with God's help.
0:28
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times. All with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
0:53
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Tamara's Takeaways on the Stories of Hope in Hard Times podcast. I'm your host, Tamara K. Anderson. And today we're going to talk about those really hard times in life and we just have no idea how to solve our problems.
1:10
To start off, I'm going to tell you a story from my life that I'm going to share with you these four amazing tips. And then I'm going to give you the conclusion of the story and how I applied those tips to my own life.
1:22
I'm going to take you to a time when I was a very young mother and I had four children, ages 7, 6, 2 and a half and six months. And I loved being a mother. But my life was very challenging. Only one of my children could communicate verbally with me at that time. So I could only had one child, I could say How are you feeling? And they could answer me.
1:47
And this was because my two middle boys, my six year old Nathan, and my two and a half year old Jacob are on the autism spectrum. And words just didn't come as easily. So that looked very, very hard for me.
2:02
My days were long, taking care of kids--trying to feed them, bathe them, make sure kids got to school on time. Nathan was very hesitant to get dressed, he had sensory issues with clothes and so getting him dressed and keeping him dressed was a constant challenge. He would rather run around in his underwear, than get dressed, keep his socks and shoes on anything. So it's constantly redressing with him. If he didn't like it, he would throw a tantrum. And so my days were filled with tantrums with Nathan.
2:33
Chasing Jacob--Jacob was unbelievably smart and creative and he could get out of our home faster than we could snap our fingers. We always had to have somebody watching Jacob. And the challenge with Jacob is he had no perception of danger. And so one time we found him climbing a ladder onto our neighbor's roof. One time, he scaled our back fence and ran straight towards the street on the opposite Street. One time, he scaled our fence, went down to a neighbor's fence, climbed over their fence and was about to jump in their pool when our neighbor found him. So he was always running towards danger.
3:13
And my little daughter Noelle, by the time she was 18 months old could perfectly mimic my, "(Gasp) Where's Jacob?" Panic. That panic Oh! So my stress level was high. My days were crazy.
3:29
My nights were long and exhausting. Because children on the autism spectrum have a hard time falling asleep and then staying asleep. So often we were awake at two in the morning for the rest of the day. Or Noelle was up teething at the time. And so to say I was exhausted almost feels like an understatement.
3:54
I was completely worn out physically. I was worn out emotionally. I was exhausted spiritually. I felt like I had nothing left in my cup to give even though I was trying to fill it every day by reading my scriptures and praying. It was like I was adding drops and I needed gallons to keep going.
4:15
So it had been a super long and cold winter. And it was the first glorious day of spring. And for some reason looking out that front window and seeing couples and families walking and enjoying that beautiful warm weather--It gave me hope. And I remember thinking, Oh, if I can just go out on that walk and feel that sunshine and go with my family and just get out of this house and out of this crazy winter routine we've been in, I will feel better.
4:50
So after dinner husband and I gathered our four children, got out the front door. Off we were on our adventure and we got one house down and Nathan threw a huge tantrum, you know, the kind where kids drop their knees. And no matter if you have him by the hands, they won't keep walking. And because we couldn't communicate with him, and he couldn't understand what we were saying, and communicate back with us, I was just saying, "we're just going around the block, it's not very far.' Didn't mean anything to him. So he kept tantruming, he didn't want to leave the house. This was not on the schedule, it wasn't part of the routine.
5:32
So finally, my husband threw him over his shoulder, took him home. And I dutifully finished the walk with the rest of the children. With the shattered dreams, and expectations, weighing heavier and heavier on my shoulders, every step I took.
5:53
That night, I fell to my knees. And I poured all this grief and exhaustion and brokenness out to God. Why do we have two children with autism? Wasn't one enough? Why can't we go on walks around the block, like every other normal family out there? Why can't we be a normal family?
6:31
I'm going to pause right here and promise you that I did get an answer. But I also want to pause and promise you that I learned four amazing steps over the ensuing months, and years, which have helped me receive answers to these weighty problems in my life, that you can apply to your life as well. So let's pause and talk about those amazing steps that will help us all.
7:04
First, connect to your higher source and ask questions. Now connecting is going to look different for everybody. Some people connect through meditation, some people like me connect through prayer. Some people connect with God by being in nature, I felt him close there too. And sometimes, the only place you're not interrupted, let's be honest. Think about it for a moment, especially if your mom--is in the shower, because Well, hopefully you're not interrupted in the shower. But sometimes that is the only place we can talk and connect with God.
7:47
So connect with God. When you're connecting with God, it's very important that you are open and honest with Him That you can share all your grief, your sorrow, your pains, your anguish, your questions, and just get it all out. And don't worry, God is strong enough to handle anything you throw at Him. He is God, after all, all powerful, and He's not going to hate you for being honest with Him. He doesn't want to, to only tell them the pretty parts of your day. He wants you to tell them everything. So connect with them and be honest.
8:22
The second half of that is to ask a question. I love in the New Testament where Jesus Christ is talking and he says this in in Matthew 7:7, he says, "Ask, and it shall be given you seek and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you." And then here's the promise, "for everyone that asketh, get receiveth. And he that seeketh, findeth. And to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
8:59
Now I love that because he's saying, if you ask, you will receive. Now that doesn't mean you're going to get the answer and the solution you think you're going to get. Sometimes it takes a little bit of work. And sometimes the answer is going to point you to a different perspective. Maybe down a different path, maybe one you weren't expecting, but you need to trust that whatever He inspires you to do is the right next step.
9:31
So first step is connect and ask, okay?
9:37
The second step is to listen and record your answers. So it's really important when we connect with God that we listen for an answer and sometimes that requires us to be in a quiet place. And I know some of you out there thinking Tamara I don't have a quiet place. Maybe that shower idea again, right? But Find a time when you can have a quiet moment--it may be midnight, it may be four in the morning. It may be that you take a walk on your lunch break at work, and find a quiet spot where you can ponder and pray. Find a quiet spot where you can talk. But you can also listen. And when you're listening, you're going to get ideas, thoughts, impressions, whispers in your heart.
10:34
Don't be surprised if maybe the thought is to connect with somebody that you know and love. And you may be going--but that isn't the solution to my problem. Sometimes God answers our problems by pointing us to other people who just discussing it with them become angels and answers in disguise. So they become God's answer to us. So listen, and then record those answers, write them down so that you actually do something about it.
11:10
Statistics show that you are much more likely to take action on something you have written down. I love checklists. So I have a planner call me old fashioned, I have an old time paper planner that I write things down on. And I am so much more likely to remember things and get them done. So write it down, whether it's in your journal, recording it on your phone, but write whatever you feel you need to do about your problem down.
11:41
Step three is to plan and then act. So sometimes when we have an idea, we need to flesh it out a little bit. And that might look like let's say for example, your your problem is you want to release some of your extra weight. Well, maybe the idea is that comes to is join a gym and go on a regular basis. Well, you have three gyms that are around you. So you may need to plan how are you going to figure out which gym to join. So it may require a little bit more legwork. To figure out how to do that, you're going to maybe need to look each gym up on the internet, and find out how much they charge. And then go and visit them take a tour of each facility and see if they have anything that interests you that you could do to exercise. So write those steps down.
12:46
Part of your plan is figuring out all the steps to take so that you feel comfortable, then acting. And taking that step and doing something about it. So many of us don't take that final step and act and do something. When God invites us to ask and receive, he also expects us to do some of the knocking ourselves--to keep pushing forward, he requires some action. And as we act, it's like God opens doors for us all over the place.
13:30
So once we've acted on it, the fourth step is repeat. Now, this may sound really funny, but usually when we take an action, we have one of two things happen. We are successful. And acting on that one thought was, Wow, that was totally the solution to my problem. If that's the case, congratulations. And now repeat the process and go to God and say, "God that worked. What's my next right step in my life?" Because often these these answers are many tiny steps. And God only gives us one step at a time because He doesn't want to overwhelm us with some huge, ginormous step that is 50 miles down the road. He's just going to give us enough to get us through that next step. And it's very merciful way to give answers. And we may feel frustrated that we don't have the big step. But baby steps are good and they're still progress. If you take a baby step every day, you're seven baby steps farther at the end of the week. Now, that's one solution, if we act.
14:57
The second solution is Epic fail, did not work at all. I did not like going to the gym, it did not work. In our case with kids with autism, that that tactic did not work with our children. Back to the drawing board. So you have information, you know that that step did not work. You take it back to God and you say, "Alright, God, that did not work. What is the next step that you want me to take? What is the next idea?" Sometimes God needs us to eliminate close some of the doors that we see as possibilities before we're open and willing to go through the right door. I know I've seen that in my life, where I've taken several wrong steps. And I'm like, Okay, this is not working. And I know you want me to head this direction. So what is the solution? Open the door for me, please. And that's when miracles happen.
16:04
So don't be discouraged. The first few things you try don't work. Maybe God is just helping you close some doors before you walk through the right one.
16:15
So the steps are number one, connect and ask. Number two, listen, and record. Number three, plan and then act. And number four, repeat again.
16:34
Let me take you back to that night when I was asking those really tough questions with God. Why do we have two children with autism? Wasn't one enough? Why can't we go on walks like a normal family? Why can't we be a normal family? That night, I heard a whisper in my heart. And this is what it said, "Tamara, this is normal for you." And that was a game changer for me. It lifted my sights to a higher plane of thinking--to realize my normal is different from everybody else's normal. My walks with my family are going to be normal for me. They're not going to look like everybody else is normal for them.
17:39
I learned that God knew my name, Tamara. I knew that he had a perfect solution for my unique and normal for me problem. So over the ensuing weeks, and months, and years, I learned this process and I learned to perfect it.
18:04
Seven years later, our family decided to take a very long hike--three miles which was long for our family. And we were going to hike and see Delicate Arch in Arches National Park in Utah. Now, this was quite a step for our family. We'd never done anything that big or push Nathan so far. So My husband and I followed this plan. We connected with God. We told them we wanted to go on this hike. And yes, it was three miles long. And yes, it was uphill. And yes, there was a part of the trail that was you had to kind of very narrowly skirt a drop off. How are we going to do this with our son with autism?
18:52
And we we asked Him and we recorded ideas and listened and and then we made a plan. After we had our ideas, we decided we were going to tell Nathan what we were going to do on a piece of paper because he could see the steps. And then we gave him a little iPod that had his favorite movies on it. And he could put his headphones in and he could listen to his movies to distract him from this longer walk.
19:23
And guess what? We, the family who couldn't even walk around the block before, completed the hike together and saw Delicate Arch. I can't even tell you the joy that comes into my heart thinking about that monumental hike. In fact it makes me want to cry a little bit. That God blessed us so much to be able to take these tiny little steps which brought us miles and miles.
19:59
So I want to promise you that this works. This process works. And by following it and repeating it over and over, you will take steps in your life.
20:11
And so my invitation to you today is for you to apply this. Apply this amazing steps these amazing steps, which will help you problem solve any overwhelming situation in your life. I promise you that God knows the solution. And He will help you figure it out One baby step at a time. Hope on friends!
20:43
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript, and one of my favorite takeaways.
21:18
You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and with the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember God loves you!