What to Do When God Stops Your Progress
A few months ago I felt like there was a giant wall in front of me every time I tried to edit a podcast. Here I tell the story of my wrestle with God to try to figure out what He was trying to tell me and teach me.
Episode Discussion Points
I share some journal entries from October 2022 about how I literally felt sick and ill every time I needed to record or edit a podcast.
Brainstorming how to deal with podcasting burnout, including reaching out to fellow podcasting friends.
Reading the story of Balaam in Numbers 22 about his progress being stopped by an angel that his donkey saw.
Balaam said, “All that the Lord speaketh, that I must do.” (Numbers 23:26)
At some points in my life I had felt like my blocks have been my own fears, but I didn’t feel that was true this time. I felt like I, like Jacob of old, had been wrestling with an angel.
I was finally guided to ask the right question, “What is keeping me from progressing?” And God’s answer to me, and how it impacts this podcast.
“Focus on the peace,” when an answer is hard.
Invitation
If you are struggling with your progress being stopped, take it to God. You may need to wrestle with Him a bit for an answer, find some quiet time to read your scriptures, ponder and pray.
Specifically ask God this question, “What is keeping me from progressing?” And then listen.
Ask God to help you see and be able to act on the right answer.
Then move forward with faith and trust in God and the path He points you toward.
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #progressstopped #wrestlewithGod #answerstoprayer #prayer #Godguides #trustGod #podcasting
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
Tamara Anderson 0:03
Have you ever felt weighted down and like literally sick about doing something before in your life? Like, you can't even imagine taking that step forward, because there's something about it that just paralyzes you, and makes you kind of want to curl up into a ball and Ignore that you even have to go that direction?Today we're going to talk about that. And I'm going to share a very personal experience that I had very recently and how God helped me to figure out what I needed to do next, to get through that decision. Stay tuned.
Tamara Anderson 0:48
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 1:13
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Stories of Hope in Hard Times podcast. I'm your host, Tamara K. Anderson. And today, I'm going to take you back just a few months and read to you a little bit from my journal and talk to you very raw and personally, about a decision that I've kind of been agonizing over for the last few months.
Tamara Anderson 1:35
And so I'm going to kind of take you back to October of this past year, Happy New Year, by the way. And I came back from September, and I was completely exhausted. I'd had gotten my daughter through a surgery, I gotten my daughter up to school and I felt like I came back from that. And I got sick. And I literally almost collapsed and was just kind of dragging myself through the end of September.
Tamara Anderson 2:04
And what was interesting is I found that as I worked on the podcast, like that had several episodes recorded that I just needed to edit. And anytime I thought about editing the podcast or recording another episode of the podcast, I literally felt physically ill. Like I couldn't even, I didn't even want to do it, which is so unlike me, I love recording episodes of this podcast, I try to be super prayerful about who I bring on. We have prayer every time I invite somebody onto the show.
Tamara Anderson 2:37
And I've never enjoyed the editing process. Let's be honest, it's it's a labor of love for you, from me, and from God. And so I was really, really struggling. I'll read you something I wrote in my journal on October 8, which is a Saturday, it says. It has been another week where I have really struggled to get things done. At times it has felt like a literal weight was sitting on my chest. At other times I felt as though any time of thought of doing work. I wanted to vomit. Literally I felt physically ill.
Tamara Anderson 3:15
So what was I doing, I was distracting myself. And so I read a whole bunch, because that's one of my coping strategies is to escape into books. And then I wrote, I feel like there has been a ginormous wall, blocking my path. One of the conclusion I've come to is that I have podcast burnout, maybe even life burnout. But another part of me wonders if this is God's way of getting my attention. And helping me realize the path I've been on is coming to an end. And now it's time to divert to a new path.
Tamara Anderson 3:49
And so I started brainstorming in fact, just a few days later, I have an entire page of ideas. Okay, how can I get past this podcast burnout? How can I keep going? How can I make this more manageable for myself and I have all these ideas, everything from keeping things as they are doing a couple of breaks during the year.
Tamara Anderson 4:12
I even reached out to one of my friends who's a podcaster. And I said, Okay, podcasting burnout sucks. He's like, Yeah, I totally get it. I feel you're here. I said, What have you done that has helped you get through it? So we were kind of texting back and forth. And it was really good to have those feelings validated that sometimes when we're doing something and we just do it consistently. I mean, I've been doing this for four years straight. This year would be the fifth year.
Tamara Anderson 4:38
And so it's good to kind of bounce things off of people when you're feeling burnout. And does anybody else feel this way? Right? And so I kind of made this list after I talked to what are some things that I can do to make this more manageable for me, making them shorter, maybe doing them less frequently.
Tamara Anderson 4:58
And so I just had this whole page right? Just brainstorm and brainstorm, brainstorm how can I make this more doable for me because one of my biggest concerns, as I've been starting to shift my focus to do this Women Warriors of Light group is that podcasting is like a constant monkey on your back, you have an episode that releases every single week, and you're either recording episodes or editing episodes, and it's always there. And it's always happening. And you're always brainstorming and, and so I would start to get involved in something, oh, I got to do another podcast. And then I've got to edit the podcast. And then I've got to get it out there on social media. And so it's kind of podcasting is a lot of work. And it's kind of constant.
Tamara Anderson 5:44
So I was trying to figure out how I can make that more simple. And finally about the middle of October. I awoke early one morning, and it's interesting. I'll read you what I wrote that morning that says, October 14, I woke up at 5:30am. And the Spirit said, "it is time." And I got out of bed and came to my office, I knew it was time to make a decision about the podcast. After a quick prayer, I knew I wanted to read the story of Balaam in Numbers 22, about his progress being stopped. Because I feel like every time I try to make progress with my podcast right now, I'm pushing against a huge rock blocking my path.
Tamara Anderson 6:25
Like just yesterday afternoon, I had a great day. And I finally sat down to work on the podcast edits, and I felt sick. Like I just couldn't make myself do it. So then I tried to figure out, okay, maybe I can find somebody to edit the podcasts. And I looked and looked and looked online, and I just ended up getting more and more frustrated. So I just kind of gave it to God. I said, God, I need a podcast editor, bring one to me.
Tamara Anderson 6:49
And still feeling unsettled. I kind of went and made dinner, and hung out with my husband. And I told him how frustrated I was feeling. And he told me September, I'm so proud of you for considering all your options. And that he knew that God would help me make that decision. And so anyway, I started reading the story of Balaam and how and how the donkey saw the angel in his path and stopped and kind of tried to go around them.
Tamara Anderson 7:18
And I remember thinking, okay, Balam had his progress stopped. Because an angel was blocking his path. And then numbers 23: 26. He says, All that the Lord speaketh that must, I do. And anyway, and then I started doing some more looking in the Scriptures about stopping and progression and blocking progress. I was just trying to find some answers. Of what do I need to say, I felt like that whole past month, I'd kind of been wrestling, you know how it says that Jacob wrestled with an angel.
Tamara Anderson 7:52
I felt like I've been wrestling with God over this block and my path, what is wrong? What do I need to do? Sometimes the blocks in my path have been my own fear. But I didn't feel that was the case this time. And so I was trying to figure out my way in and through and what questions should I be asking? You know, I'm asking God to send me somebody to help me edit. And I found that there weren't a lot of scriptures about progress being stopped, when it's not referring to sin or something like that. I knew that that didn't apply.
Tamara Anderson 8:26
And so I started thinking. So if it's not sin, or something like that stopping me maybe God is stopping me. And that kind of got some wheels in my brain turning. After thinking and pondering about that. I finally got down on my knees. And I felt prompted to ask the right question, which was, what is keeping me from progressing? And it's interesting, I've learned that one of the ways the Spirit speaks to me, is like a super quiet whisper in my heart. And it doesn't always come when I want it to. But sometimes it's when I am ready to hear and I'm ready. And I'm asking the right questions.
Tamara Anderson 9:13
So when I asked what is keeping me from progressing, here's what the Whisper I wrote this down, so I wouldn't forget it. God said "sometimes our way is blocked when we are supposed to go another way, or make a change."
Tamara Anderson 9:28
And so my next question logically was, what do I need to change? And here's what God said "that I was supposed to stop the Stories of Hope in Hard Times podcast. And then He asked me, "How do you feel about that?" And I said, I feel peace and anguish. And God simply said, "focus on the peace. Finish what you set out to do, and be done."
Tamara Anderson 10:01
And So I cried. Because I felt God confirming to my heart something that I'd sort of considered, but not really. But it was time to be done.
Tamara Anderson 10:12
And, and so I'm coming to you, and I'm sharing this is one of my final episodes that I started this, because I knew that people were struggling out there. And I wanted to point people to God in their hard times. And I've been doing it for the last four years, and we've had wonderful people on and I've shared wonderful and heartfelt stories. But just like my friend told me when I was texting him about this podcasting, burnout, he says, I knew when I needed to start, and I also knew when I needed to stop. And I had a pretty strong witness from God at that time, and complete peace that I needed to stop.
Tamara Anderson 10:56
But it was hard. And I've kind of had a couple of months to wrap my brain around that. And let me share with you a few other things that I wrote that day in my journal, I said this podcasting has become part of me. And I feel it is time, it is time to be done time to be released from this calling from this mission. Then I cried more as I felt God was pleased with my effort. Like I was laying my gift of time, effort and energy for the last four plus years on the altar and giving it to God as my humble offering. And how sweet it was to know that God accepted it.
Tamara Anderson 11:40
I cried again, with tears mixed with gratitude, and relief. And then I said, I'm going to finish the holiday stories of hope. And then do my final episode. And so I kind of come to you guys here at the end of a long, four plus year journey, because I began recording episodes way before we launched the first one. But with this gift, and I don't think I'm done podcasting, and I'm done speaking or anything like that. But I feel it's time to wrap this podcast up.
Tamara Anderson 12:17
And I will for sure give you updates as I grow into this Women Warriors of Light, new phase of my life. Because I feel this is where God is kind of guiding me right now. And sometimes we have to give some things up as we move forward. And I'm not saying it's easy, because it's not.
Tamara Anderson 12:41
There's part of me that would probably rather keep podcasting because it's something familiar to me. And I love doing it. I found I really love sharing with you and interviewing people. And so I don't think I'm done with that I think I will evolve and bring that into this Women Warriors of Light group that I'm starting. And be able to use those talents God has helped me to develop to continue blessing you my listeners.
Tamara Anderson 13:10
And so as we close this chapter, because it's only a chapter in my story, and then in my relationship with you, my listener, I hope you'll join me on the next phase of my journey, which is starting this Women Warriors of Light, and I'm going to keep you posted on social media, I might do another episode here or there to give you an update as we get closer to the launch of this wonderful program of pointing specifically women to Jesus Christ. Because as we get closer to to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, the adversary is increasing his attacks on women and men and families, on youth on children.
Tamara Anderson 13:56
And I feel called to give people hope and resources and help them arm themselves with the armor of light. And so that's really where my focus is going to be over the next little while as I start this new chapter and I am super excited to dive in and have this new opportunity in front of me. And at the same time I am sad to be closing this as well, the there's peace, and there's also anguish and so I'm going to focus on the peace says God encouraged me to do and look forward with faith and hope and trust that God has got this all figured out. Even though I don't.
Tamara Anderson 14:42
And so, if you like me, are struggling with a decision was something weighing down with not being able to move forward in your life. I invite you to take it to God you may have to wrestle with him for it for a while and stuff Are you in the scriptures and maybe wake up a little early to have some quiet time and really ponder and pray and ask Him to guide you.
Tamara Anderson 15:07
But I would also invite you to ask this question that I asked in my journal that morning, "what is keeping me from progressing?" And ask him to help you to see it? At previous times in my life, it was fear. But this time it was because I needed to make a change. And I was finally quiet, and still enough to hear what I needed to do, even though I didn't want to hear that answer. It was the right thing.
Tamara Anderson 15:42
And so now I'm, I'm gonna keep moving forward with faith. And I invite you to keep moving forward on your journey of faith and hope, and trust that God will continue to guide you and bless you and strengthen you and give you the answers that you need to hear in your life. Because he loves you, wholly and completely. And He will bless you, and help you to know exactly what you need to do. And when you need to do it. Sometimes his timing doesn't line up with ours, but trust that he can see where you're going, and the best way that you can get there. Hope on my friends.
Tamara Anderson 16:29
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote, or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember, God loves you!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai