Nina Angela Lee: Courageous Gratitude Amidst Grief

Nina YT slide.jpg

Nina’s life was altered the day her teenage son came home from school with yellow eyes. She learned to courageously choose God and gratitude along her detoured path.

Episode Discussion Points

  • What growing up in her home looked like

  • The car accident that changed everything

  • Why she climbed out the window to escape her father

  • How the things her mother taught her came back to her memory

  • What she used to sing when her parents were fighting downstairs and how it brought her peace

  • The day life changed for her son

  • The tips Nina used to keep her strong through the 17 year battle for her son’s life

  • How asking the question “What can I be grateful for in this moment?” helped her keep going

  • How she felt when the doctors said they had done all they could do

  • How a woman in an elevator became Nina’s angel

  • The things she was grateful for when her son passed away

  • Why the saying, “This too shall pass,” meant to her—especially when it lasts for a long time

  • How Nina learned that every breath is a gift, and how it motivated Nina and her family to begin living without regrets and experience life in its fullness.

  • Don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your full potential and how NIna finally was courageous enough to share her music and talents.

  • How Nina’s love for others overrides her fear of being onstage and sharing her music.

  • How Nina got involved with Women of Worth and the amazing organization it is.

One of My Favorite Takeaways

I loved how Nina talked about having gratitude even when her son died. At first I thought she was crazy to try to think of things to be grateful for at that point, but as she began listing them, I realized God taught Nina so much through her journey—and although it was awfully heart-breaking, she could still find joy amidst as she was thankful.

Resources

Connect with Nina

#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #gratitude #grief #autoimmunedisease #death #lessons #angels #supportgroups #womenofworth #WOWutah

Transcription

Unknown Speaker  0:02 

So we sit down and they push the box of Kleenex towards me. I'm like, “Oh, boy,” and they said, “Your son has an incurable autoimmune disease. His own body is killing his liver. But it will move to other organs. And he probably will not live a full life.”

 

Tamara Anderson  0:34 

Welcome to “Stories of Hope in Hard Times,” the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host, Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.

My guest today is the president of Women of Worth in Utah, known as WOW. She's an international speaker, singer-songwriter, and has released two CDs, “I Think You're Brave,” and “You Got This.” Her song, “More Alike than Different,” that she co-wrote with Greg Hanson, won an award from a worldwide church songwriting contest. She lives in Alpine, Utah and is a wife, mother of six, and grandma of 12. I'm pleased to present Nina Angela Lee. Nina, are you ready to share your story of hope?

 

Nina   1:36

I am. Thank you so much, Tamara.

 

Tamara  1:39

Oh, and I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today. I got to hear Nina tell her story a couple months ago, and I was like, “I have got to have her on my podcast.” She does such an amazing job. And one of the things I love about her, she just exudes this sense of calm and peace. I just, I love that about you. So I'm excited to have you here today.

 

Nina   2:03

Thank you, Tamara.

 

Tamara   2:06

So one of the little known facts about you is that you love old movies and old musicals. When did this love of old movies and musicals start?

 

Nina  2:15 

From the time I was young, I remember my mom putting on these musicals. And it was just so grand, and colorful, and musical, and everyone was dancing. I just loved that world. Even my children, growing up, knew who Doris Day and Danny Kaye were. And we just made that a part of our lives.

 

Tamara Anderson  2:46 

That is so amazing. Do you have a favorite one?

 

Nina  2:50 

I like “White Christmas” with Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby.

 

Tamara Anderson  2:55 

That is one of my favorites. I used to watch that one growing up. I have not seen it in many years. I'm gonna have to pull that out and watch it again.

 

Nina   3:04

Oh, you need to it's fabulous. I love that show.

 

Tamara  3:08

Thank you for reminding me it's out there! Sometimes we watch these movies and we’re like, “Oh, I love this!” And I think one of the songs I love the most in it was the one where the sisters are singing about each other, because I have four sisters and we have those moments where we absolutely love each other. And growing up, we sure had those moments where we did not love each other. So sure. Oh, my goodness. Well, we are here to talk a little about bit about you and your life, and then talk a little bit about the organization that you are president of here towards the end. So let's, first of all, dive in. Tell me about growing up in your home and what that looked like.

 

Nina  3:50 

My home consisted of my mother, my stepfather who adopted us, my older sister, and a younger brother. And my father had a very bad temper. And so most of my childhood, I lived in fear, a lot of fear. And then unfortunately, when I was 12, I received a phone call that would change my life. It was McKay Dee Hospital. They said, “Your mother has been in an accident, and you need to get someone down here.” And to be honest, it didn't even cross my mind that she would pass away. It just didn't. I was expecting her maybe to be in the hospital for a few days and then she would come home. And then she passed away. As you can imagine, I was devastated. She was my best friend, my confidant. And things got pretty rough after that. After about a year, things unfolded. And I packed a few things in a trash bag and climbed out my bedroom window. And my father lost his parental rights. I then moved quite a few times, I attended four different high schools. There wasn't a lot of stability, or consistency when I was young, except for my Father in Heaven. No matter where I moved, He was with me. And I've learned to turn to Him for guidance, and for comfort. But some beautiful blessings came from those challenges. I had the opportunity to meet my biological father and his family. And they ended up adopting me. And I'm so grateful to have them in my life. And I eventually reconnected with the father who raised me. And we have a great relationship now. It's just been a beautiful blessing to have these people in my life now.

 

Tamara Anderson  6:43 

Wow. So just a challenging childhood after your mother passed away?

 

Nina  6:50

Yes.

 

Tamara Anderson  6:51

And I am so sorry about that. And so was it your mother that had taught you to believe in God and rely on Him then?

 

Nina  7:01 

Yes, yes. She would take the children to church. And I remember her praying, and just those small lessons that she would teach me. I didn't realize until later in life, when I thought, “Where did this come from?” Like, “Oh, my mom. My mom taught me that.”

 

Tamara Anderson  7:28 

Wow, wow. Now, let me ask you a really quick question before we dive into the story of your son. What were some of the ways you were able to rely on God and find comfort in Him when you were experiencing those challenges of insecurity and abuse as a child? Or teen, I guess I should say.

 

Nina  7:54 

Well, even when I was quite a bit younger, and I remember hearing, my parents fighting, and just so much chaos, and I would run to my bed and pull the covers over my head, and I could still hear them. So I would start humming songs. And the song that I hummed and sang the most was, “I Am a Child of God.” And that brought me so much peace and comfort. It was almost programmed. “Okay, things are rough. I am a child of God, I am a child of God, I'm a child of God.” And I always felt Him there. Even when, I mean, crawling out that window, and walking down the street, not knowing where I was going, where I would end up, I had this little whispering in my heart that it would be okay. And I truly believed that that came from Him, helping me to know it will be okay. And I learned to really rely on that. And I didn't realize how much throughout my life, that peace that came as I spoke with Him, would bless my life so greatly.

 

Tamara Anderson  9:37 

That is beautiful. And I love, you know, I found peace in music as well. And I know there are a lot of people out there that sometimes it's songs that resonate the most with us and in our hearts. And so what a blessing that that simple song brought to you such peace and comfort when life was not peaceful or comforting, right? For sure, yeah. Well, let's segue into your family that you have with your children and talk me through a little bit about what that looks like when your kids were younger, and then the diagnosis of your son, and the ensuing battle that you guys had to wage.

 

Nina  10:31 

Sure. Everything seemed pretty normal. A mother, father, three boys. I really felt that, because I had had such a rough childhood, that God had given me this beautiful life. Not that it was perfect, but I felt so blessed in so many ways. And one day, when my oldest son was 14, he came home from school. And he just seemed off. He said, “I'm going to go lay down, I'm feeling tired.” Now, this was not the personality of my son, Brandon. Usually it's get in, get something to eat, get homework done, so he can go be with friends. He loved being with his friends. And so to see this lack of energy, I was just worried that he was sick. So I walked towards him. And I see the whites of his eyes were this eerie shade of yellow. And I thought, “What on earth would cause yellow eyes?” I whisked him away to the family doctor. The doctor walked in and said, “Go to the hospital. Now.”

So I'm driving to the hospital getting more and more anxious, wondering what this could be. We get there, they whisked him away for a liver biopsy. And we're sitting there in the surgical waiting room. And the same pattern is there: The doctors will come out to the waiting family, “Everything went well. They'll be in recovery for a half hour, then you can go back.” So I saw this going on. And it was now taking a lot longer than the doctor said it would take for my son. And those minutes on the clock just seem to take forever. And then finally, the doors swing open. Out comes my son's surgeon. But he also had three other people with him, which I thought was a little different, kind of broke the pattern. And they said, “We have a room over here. We would like you to join us in this conference room.” Oh boy. And I thought, “Oh, no. I don't want to go to the conference room. This can't be good if they're wanting me to go to the conference room.” And they introduced the hospital social worker to me. So we sit down and they push the box of Kleenex towards me. I'm like, “Oh, boy.” And they said, “Your son has an incurable autoimmune disease. His own body is killing his liver. But it will move to other organs. And he probably will not live a full life.”

My heart sunk. And even though they told us Brandon's probable path, nothing could have prepared me for the journey we had just begun. It was so difficult to see my son who was once so vivacious, loving life, so active to, one by one, the things he loved to do being taken away from him. He could no longer physically do. It was quite the roller coaster for sure.

 

Tamara Anderson  14:45 

Oh my goodness. So what did the ensuing years look like for you and your family, as well as for Brandon?

 

Nina  14:55 

There were times of remission that would only last a few months, so he could taste a little bit of normalcy. And then sure enough, the disease would come back again. And it attacked his intestines and he had to have part of them removed. He had to have an ostomy for a while. As a young person, he got angry, like, “Why do I have to go through this? My friends are out there doing what I want to do. And I'm stuck in here.” And there was a lot of dark times. We had to talk through just so many heart-wrenching conversations. And I would share my belief, you know, that God would help us get through this. And he would have times that he would accept that and believe it, and other times he would just be angry. And that was what we did for years. It took quite a bit to get him through school because he was out so much time. But he finally did he graduated, he actually fell in love and got married. And just when he thought things were going so beautifully, I would get that call, “Brandon's being life flighted. Can you meet us at the hospital?”

 

Tamara Anderson  16:37 

Oh, my word.

 

Nina  16:39 

One day, it was so hard. As I got to the hospital, his little daughter came running up to me and she put her arms around my knees and said, “Grandma, can you help them make daddy better?” And my heart was breaking, because I wanted that so badly for all of us, for him. And luckily, as things progressed towards the end, he turned to God. And he renewed his faith. And it was beautiful to see that. I think he realized that he may not have a lot of time left. And he really did start treasuring more of those moments and making memories with his family.

 

Tamara Anderson  17:40 

What did you find you had to do to stay courageous and strong? Because he had a 17 year battle with this autoimmune disease. What did you have to do to remain strong and true to God and just be able to have the strength to keep going day after day? I know he had long hospital stays. What were some of the self-care things, and the things you did to connect with God daily, so that you could just keep going? Because so many times, when we're in a super stressful situation like that, it is difficult to even place one foot in front of the other. It’s difficult to even want to face another day when we'd rather pull the covers over our head, kind of like you did as a little girl, and hum to ourselves that everything's gonna be okay. But often as adults, we can't do that. You know, we can't hide under our covers, and just pray for everything to go away.

 

Nina  18:48 

True. But there were times that while he was laying in the hospital bed, I'm off on the sofa with the covers over my head. Because I didn't want him to hear that I'm crying. And there were times that I had to sing to myself, “I am a child of God.”

One of the hardest days, the doctor had said, “He’s septic. We don't think he's going to make it through the night.” And as I had done many, many times, I went to my knees. And I pled to Heavenly Father, “Please save my son.” And I felt this, almost like hearing the words, but I felt them. And it was to say, “Thy will be done.” And it shocked me. It's like, “Wait a minute. That means I'm okay to let my son go.” I couldn't comprehend that. Talk about a wrestle before the Lord. And it took me a while to even utter those words, that, “Thy will be done. Thy will be done.” That meant I trusted God and His plan and His timing. But that was so difficult. But luckily, I had been listening to His voice and feeling His promptings in my life for so long that I knew He would take care of all of us, no matter what that journey looked like. He would be there. He had proven to me that He will always be there. And I found that as I journaled, that was helpful, as I tried to keep a regular routine. And that's hard going back and forth to the hospital. There were some times we were there for weeks. But I found if I kept the same routine of reading my scriptures, pondering, meditating, reading and studying, that little sense of normalcy, helped me have peace. And then, also, and I'm sure it had to have been my mom, who instilled this in me, was to always ask the question, “What can I be grateful for in this moment?”

 

Tamara Anderson  21:43 

Ooh, that is a really good question to ask.

 

Nina  21:47 

And, you know, some days, we were so grateful for crackers, because he had been on liquids for so long. They celebrate crackers and popsicles. There was one day. It was a tough day, a high pain day for my son. And we looked out the window, and this beautiful sunset unfolded. It just felt like a heavenly hug. “I'm here, I'm here.” And that was, that was such a beautiful blessing. And I have found that there were little miracles along the way, and big miracles.

Another difficult day was when the doctors came in and said, “We have done all that we can do.” And they introduced the hospice team to us. I couldn't believe that after 17 years, the journey was over. They were done. I just, I couldn't even comprehend it. So the ambulance comes, they load him onto the gurney. And Brandon had kept saying, “I just want to go home. I just want to go home.” He was tired. He was tired. And so we walked down and all these people who had cared for him for all these years, they had become close to us. And they have this smile of compassion knowing where Brandon was going. And as they loaded him into the ambulance and shut the doors and pulled away, as a mom, I just wanted to yell, “No! Bring him back, fix him.” Because I knew if he went home, that was going to be the end. So I was devastated that day. I had to go back up to the room to gather my belongings. And there I stood at the elevator with a pain I had never experienced that deeply before. And I was trying to remain calm. The elevator opens and there was a couple in there. I step in. And as we start to descend, I feel this well of emotion just rising and I could not control it anymore. And tears just start streaming down my face. And this beautiful woman turns to me and just reaches out and holds me as I cry. And for five floors, she did that.

She had this inquisitive look. And I said, “It's my son.” And she goes, “I'm so sorry. I will pray for him to get better.” And without even thinking, I blurted out, “He's not going to get better.” And now she's crying. The elevator doors open. And we step out, and I just want to head to my car so I can bawl. And she said, “I will pray for you and your family.” And I bolted to my car, and sobbed uncontrollably, uncontrollably. But I believe in my heart that God knew I needed an angel, right then, to give me a hug and to hold me. I call her my elevator angel. And He sends these people or experiences that helped strengthen me and to remind me that He is there. He is aware of our situation. He will carry us when our knees are weak. He's proven that over, and over, and over in my life. I just feel so blessed.

There were other people in the hospital you get to know. And they would be going through these difficult situations. And they wouldn't have that faith. And I believe it was harder for them because they didn't have that to hold on to. So I'm so thankful that I have my faith. I literally cannot imagine going through such heart wrenching things without my Father in Heaven. I just can't.

 

Tamara Anderson  27:23 

Oh my goodness. Wow. I'm sorry. I had to blow my nose several times there. Tears streaming down my face. Thank you for sharing that. Having that, “Thy will be done,” conversation with God is probably one of the hardest. Especially when what we want is something good, you know, for us, or for our loved ones. And it's nice to know that He sends peace and angels, as you say, to help us along the way because sometimes we do just need a hug and the assurance that we're gonna get through it. We're gonna take a quick break, but when we get back we're going to talk tonight about some other lessons she learned through this amazing journey, and about Women of Worth, so stay tuned.

Hi, this is Tamara K. Anderson, and I want to share something special with you. When our son, Nathan was diagnosed with autism, I felt like the life we had expected for him was ripped away and with it, my own heart shattered as well. It's very common for families to feel anger, pain, confusion, and anxiety when a child is diagnosed. This is where my book, “Normal for Me,” comes into play. It shares my story of learning to replace my pain with acceptance, peace, joy, and hope. “Normal for Me” has helped change many lives, and I'd like to give this book to as many families as possible. We put together something I think is really special. My friends and listeners can order copies of my book at a significantly discounted price and we will send them to families who have just had a child diagnosed with autism or another special needs diagnosis. We will put your name inside the cover so they will know someone out there loves them and wants to help. I will also sign each copy. You can order as little as one or as many as hundreds to be shared with others. So go to my website, tamarakanderson.com, and visit the store section for more information and to place your order. You can bless the lives of many families by sending them hope, love, and peace. Check it out today at tamarakanderson.com and help me spread hope to the world.

And we're back. I've been talking to Nina Angela Lee, about her amazing journey with dealing with her son's autoimmune disease for 17 years. And I've kind of dried my eyes now and blown my nose. And I feel a lot more composed and like I can talk now. But Nina, losing Brandon must have just been so challenging, and I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for you. Why don't you tell me a little bit about your thoughts and feelings as he passed?

 

Nina  30:44 

I thought that when he got home that we would have quite a while in this new normal for us. The hospital bed was brought in. We learned how to administer the medication. I thought we were in this for months, if not years. To our surprise, he started going downhill very quickly. Literally, three days after he got home, he went home. And I had never experienced such pain. I didn't know I could feel so much pain and still survive, to be perfectly honest. My heart was broken. And then I had this feeling. Ask, “What can I be grateful for in this moment?” Oh, gosh. And my head was like, “Are you kidding me?” And then things started to come. Number one, I was so thankful for all those doctors and nurses who cared for him for so long. And I was grateful for the night before. The family gathered and we had a bedside sing along. It was beautiful. I was so grateful that we had that moment. And then feeling this peace come into my heart, imagining him in the arms of my Savior, his Savior, not to experience the pain that he had been in for so many years. That was such a blessing, to have that comfort. So there were things to definitely be grateful for. Even in that moment.

 

Tamara Anderson  33:10 

Wow, oh my goodness. You are such an example of looking for gratitude, even in the hardest times. And I guess it's a testimony that there are things to be grateful for, even in our most heartfelt and sorrowful moments, when we lose someone we love. So thank you for sharing that. Now, you mentioned one of the lessons that you learned through all of this was, “This, too, will come to pass.” Would you mind elaborating a little bit and explaining what that meant to you?

 

Nina  33:52 

Sure. I got in the habit, if anytime something difficult came up in my life, I would say, “This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass.” And most of the time that worked well. It gave me a little bit of peace knowing this is not my forever, it will pass. And then, when Brandon got diagnosed, I'm like, “This is not a quick fix.” So what if the things you're called to go through last all your life? So I had to reframe that. And it just got bigger for me. It's like, it will come to pass in His timing. And I think there's other things in my life that I've had to deal with, health issues, that they're not gonna get better, probably, till I pass. So it just changed the timing for me, that not all things are going to come and go in a short amount of time, that I'm in this for the long haul. And for the lessons that I can learn through all of these things were called to go through, just trusting in His timing again.

 

Tamara Anderson  35:20 

Wow. And that's hard when things last years, and decades, and maybe even like you say, for the rest of our lives. It's super, super challenging. One of the other lessons you said you learned was that every breath is a gift. Yes, tell me a little bit about that.

 

Nina  35:48 

There were so many times that Brandon was close to death, numerous times. The doctor would come out, “He's probably not going to make it.” And then he would get this burst of health, generally after a session of fasting and prayer by families and church members, coming together to pray for him, and he would get better. And he would have this time after we thought he wouldn't have that time. And so it just became so sweet, as his daughter got one year older. It's one more Christmas, one more birthday. He had a liver transplant, and we weren't sure he was going to make it through that. But after the transplant, it was like, “Oh, we made it one more birthday, one more season, one more spring.” And it just made us so thankful for every day, for every day. Because you don't know, none of us know, when it's going to be our last, or someone we love, it might be their last. So instead of having regrets, “Oh, I wish we had done this or that we started doing those things.” And it was so helpful to look at life that way, to embrace life, to live out loud.

And He taught me to even face my fears. I dealt with a lot of anxiety. To speak in public was crippling to me. And I realized that that's not living out loud, to hide and not speak to people. And I had to work through that. Because I want to live out loud, live out loud, and experience life to the fullest, and be the person that God wants me to be. And to trust Him to take care of me through that process of learning and growing.

 

Tamara Anderson  38:25 

That is so beautiful. So I think it shows such a level of courage and choice that you made a choice that, “Okay, we've got to make the most of the time we have and those things that perhaps are on the bucket list, let's get those done. let's quit letting fear hold us back from doing some of these things.” And it does take courage to do stuff like step out on the stage, especially for someone who has anxiety. I know that is something I struggle with as well. And what conversations did you have with God about facing that fear and stepping out on the stage? I'm just curious, because that is something that I've had to face as well. What did that look like for you?

 

Nina  39:19  

Oh my goodness, we're talking years of conversations in a Relief Society class, and they would talk about using your gifts and your talents. And I literally would feel second side, knowing that Heavenly Father had given me this gift of music, and that I was supposed to be sharing it. But my fear was so great that I couldn't do it for decades. All the songs that I had written to that point were literally for myself, they were never written to share. I call them my musical journal, my musical diary. It's my heart coming out in music. And after years of having that, almost like a chastisement, feeling, like, “I have given you something, and you're not doing what I need you to do with it,” I finally came to the realization that I needed to share that. That was thanks to the prompting of my husband, who invited somebody over and said, “I think they need to hear your song.” I went,

 

Tamara Anderson  40:45 

What?

 

Nina  40:47 

“You want me to sing my song for them?” Because they're really having a hard time, I think they'd really be blessed by that. And it was so scary, and I felt so vulnerable, because it was like opening my heart, and these are my feelings. And I wasn't sure how that was going to be received. And it was so sacred to me. I was worried about that, being judged. But the response that came back from this dear sister warmed my heart. There was a paradigm shift, right then, when I read this beautiful thank you note she sent me about how she needed to hear what I sang in that song. And I thought, “Wait a minute. I love my brothers and sisters. And I want to help them. And it’s something I do, even though it's not perfect. But that's what I want to do, I want to show my love for them.” And that really helped me to look at it differently, that it's more of out of love. Not, “Hey, look at me,” which was not my personality to love being on the stage. And that was just not my style. So anyway, that's what really changed my heart to know that I needed to work through this. And the first time somebody asked me to come speak in a group, because it kind of snowballed without me even trying. It’s like this person told this person, and then I was asked to go here, and then someone heard me there. And the first time I spoke with a group, my mouth was so dry, that someone sitting in the front row brought me a bottle of water. Because my lips were like sticking to my teeth, I was so nervous. But as I did that, little by little, it became a little more comfortable, and a little more comfortable. And I wouldn't say now that I absolutely love being on stage and sharing my story. But my love for others overrides that fear. And I know without a doubt that God will help me through it. He always has, He always will.

 

Tamara Anderson  43:46 

Wow. You're such an example of pressing forward and being courageous. It's nice that God gives us, it's almost like baby steps up, and pass the thing we fear like, “Okay, we'll do this small step, seeing to this one person. And then this little small group, and then this group, and like you said, it snowballs. But He does need us to take that first step past our fear. And I love that you said you are motivated by love. There has to be something pulling us past it, something we can focus on besides our fear. And I love that, for you, it is love. And that is a powerful thing because yeah, we do love our brothers and sisters here in the world and that's actually what pulled me past starting podcasting because I was scared to death. So I very much relate to your story.

So let me transition into Women of Worth. How did you get involved with this organization? It was after Brandon's death, and talk me through how that happened and how you've come to be involved as, now president of Women and Worth and what they're all about?

 

Nina  45:19 

Sure. My husband is on a school board, and the CFO of WoW is on the same school board. And my husband, bless his heart, he loves to share things about me with his friends and mentioned that I had had a CD recently released. And Marie calls me and said, “Hey, do you want to go to lunch? I have this organization, founded by Judee Guay, called Women of Worth. I'd like to sit and chat with you.” And I'm thinking, “We're just new friends having a chat.” So I really unfold everything, you know, “This is my past, all this stuff.” And she's like, “I would like you to come do a concert for the Women of Worth and share your story.”

 

Tamara Anderson  46:22 

Did you kind of feel like you wish you could have sucked it all back in like, “Oh, rewind.”

 

Nina  46:32 

It kind of shocked me to my core. I had sung for people before, or sang for people before. But to share the real story. First of all, I felt embarrassed. You know, I thought if I had been a better child, maybe I wouldn't have been abused. And to share those things with people, and the deepest feelings of my heart, from just losing my son, I thought, “How can I say those things?” But as I prayed, I knew it was something I needed to do, I needed to do that. And then my thought, as soon as I start thinking about myself and my anxiety, I think of the women who will be sitting in that audience. And if there's one little tidbit that I can say, that will help ease her pain, oh, it's so worth it. Whatever I need to go through, that's what I want to do to help her.

So I did. I went and I did my concert, scared, knees knocking. I had to have my water bottle right there. So dry. But afterwards, they invited me to stay for dinner. And I'm so glad that they did. I'm sitting at this table. And I asked the women to share their journey of how they got to WoW. And these beautiful women opened their heart and shared with me their journey, and what they had gone through. Some went through some very traumatic things. And they were telling me how WoW was helping them gain the tools that they needed to rebuild their lives. And then, one person sitting next to me was a mentor. And I thought, “This woman is giving her time, her talent, her compassion, for free, to help this sister along her journey.” I thought, “These are my people. This is my tribe, you know, people working to improve themselves, and lifting, and supporting each other.” So when I received that phone call, that they would like me to join their board, I was anxious for a little teeny bit, but then what? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I am in because I just fell in love with their program and the people in the program. It was fabulous. So I went from being Vice President, I did that for about six months, and then they asked me to be president. It has been such a phenomenal experience, watching these women grow from where they were, where they in the beginning had such a hard time even talking about their stories and sometimes even looking you in the eye, to taking the stage at the end of the year program, and to boldly proclaim, “I am a woman of worth.” Wow. What a beautiful thing to experience, to watch women bloom from where they were, into these creatures who are ready to take on the world and be purposeful in the direction of the rest of their lives. I absolutely love this program.

 

Tamara Anderson  50:45 

Wow. So tell me who Women of Worth specifically targets, and their goal, and what that looks like, the program, what it looks like to help them become courageous women of worth?

 

Nina  51:03 

It is a year long program. There are, we call them, “worth shops” instead of workshops. And every month they are learning things like how to replace bad habits, and negative self-talk. That's a big one, to replace that into more positive, to help them become their best selves in these little worth shops. And the people who come are women who are not in crisis. We're not a rehab, you can come if you have been clean and sober for six months. Some people have gone through incredible abuse and others have escaped polygamy. And people nominate them. They have to be in a good place. It has to be a right fit. They are just enveloped with love and great information to help them become their best selves.

 

Tamara Anderson  52:17 

That is so amazing. And so empowering. And how long have you been president of WoW, then?

 

Nina   52:24

This is my second year.

 

Tamara Anderson   52:26

That is awesome. That's really, really cool. And it's neat that you get to rub shoulders with women as they make that journey. That's incredible. Oh my goodness, this has been so fun. Tell me, is there a favorite Bible verse that has become meaningful to you through all of the ups and downs that you have experienced in life?

 

Nina  52:53 

Yes. I like so, so many. But the one I gravitate towards and cling to is Isaiah 41:10. “Fear not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” And I have felt that so many times. And when my knees are weak, I remember, “I am with thee. I am thy God. I will strengthen thee.” And He has. He's faithful.

 

Tamara Anderson  53:39 

Oh, that's beautiful. What resources have you found particularly helpful through your ups and downs. I also want you to share your music and where we can find that, because I'd love to list that as a resource.

 

Nina  54:04 

Music has really been such a strength in my life. I remember that the first time we got our piano, it had nicks, and dings, and it was old, but I could retreat there. And it just was such a comfort. And I found that through all my trials, music has been there. I can turn to the things, the songs, that strengthen me or bring me peace. I have special stations on Pandora. One is soft classical, or soft piano, or meditation radio. And sometimes that's all I need, to kind of regroup and ground myself again for the next round of whatever I'm going through. And so that has always been a help.

Also, caregiver support groups. No matter what you're going through, there's generally a support group out there. That is such a big deal. I remember going to the counter at the hospital, just devastated, because my son said, “I'm not doing the treatments today. I'm not doing it. I'm done.” And I'm like, Okay, you don't do the treatment, you die.” At that point, he was 17. That's why I go to the desk in desperation, like, “Do you have a support group? Somebody I can talk to who has gone through this before, that I can talk with?” And they said, “No, we really don't. We have a pastor.” And I thought, “Oh, no, I want a mama.”

 

Tamara Anderson  55:58 

Fellow mom, please!

 

Nina  56:03 

And then I found that you can type in whatever you're going through and generally find a group of people that become your tribe. They know what you're going through, and can give you some wonderful guidance. So that's been a big help. I also love all the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books

 

Tamara Anderson  56:26 

Aren't those fantastic?

 

Nina  56:27 

Oh, on a regular basis, I would have one of those in the hospital. And they're short little stories that always lifted me, you know, hearing these inspirational stories. So I love those. Two other books that I enjoy, well, there's so many, but there's a little one called, “On the Path Home,” by Henry B. Eyring. And it's just a collection of quotes and lessons. And no matter how chaotic my day was, I could open that up and within a minute, have this little life lesson, this little gold nugget that I could dwell on for the day. And that has been wonderful. And then the book, “Consider the Blessings,” by Thomas S. Monson. He is such a beautiful storyteller. And I really relate to that. And the stories that he shares in this book were always uplifting, and looking for the blessings, and gratitude. I just love stuff like that, because it strengthens me as I go through these challenges.

 

Tamara Anderson  57:55 

Well, it looks like you've also adopted that same idea and concept in your life of looking for things to be thankful for. So these books really did have an impact for you. Yes. So where can we find your music?

 

Nina   58:02 

My music is out there quite a few places. Spotify, I'm on YouTube. You can always get all my music from my website, ninaangelalee.com. And yeah, I've got two CDs. And I'd love for you to hear my music. I hope it gives you a musical hug. That's how I like to look at it, is if you need a hug. You need some arms around you to tell you it's going to be okay. Get my songs and just imagine I'm there holding you. Think, “It's gonna be okay. God is here with us. We can do this.”

 

Tamara Anderson  58:45 

Absolutely, absolutely. Oh my goodness. Where can we find you on social media?

 

Nina  58:52 

I'm on Facebook. It’s just Nina Angela Lee. I have an artist page and a regular page. I would love to hear from you and your challenges. We learn and grow from each other. So stop in, say hello. Let me know what's going on in your world. I would love that.

 

Tamara Anderson  59:13 

Nina, really quick before we go. Would you mind telling us how people can get a hold of you personally and also give us the email or the website for Women of Worth for those who are interested or want to find out more about that?

 

Nina  59:29 

Sure. My email is nina@ninaangelalee.com. I would love to hear from you. And for more information about Women of Worth program, visit their website at wowutah.org

 

Tamara Anderson  59:43 

Wonderful. So if you're looking for those, wowutah.org. All right. And then I will be sure to include all of these resources and websites and Nina’s email in our show notes, so be sure to check those out. Now I know this has been such a treat to be able to talk to you and have you share such poignant and heartfelt stories. I know I have a pile of tissues over here off to the side of my computer. I've cried several buckets of tears, it feels like, this morning, just listening to you. So thank you for sharing your heart and for being willing to dive deep and share those experiences that have taught you such beautiful lessons that you now share with others both in word and in song. Thank you.

 

Nina  1:00:40 

It's been a pleasure, it really has, Tamara.

 

Tamara Anderson  1:00:42 

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there are who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website, storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript, and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared, or quote, or a scripture verse that they really, really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling, with hope to carry on and with the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, remember God loves you.

 

You can find the transcription of today's episode here:

Tamara AndersonGrief, gratitude, Physical Health, Children