Jeffrey A. Morse: Finding Forward After Paralysis
An aneurysm left Jeff paralyzed, but with miraculous perseverance he pushed himself daily to not only walk, but live life to its fullest.
Episode Discussion Points
As a 5-year-old the aviation bug bit him as he watched planes take off and land
You don’t get do-overs in life, so spend time with family and loved ones while you can.
Live with no regret.
The death of her father and sudden death of his cousin
Lessons with friends who committed suicide
Be kind to all
Don’t always assume things are okay
Tell them you’re there for them unconditionally, always.
Also realize you won’t always be there
If you are grieving
First, go into the bathroom and smile again
Remember God is always there
There are also family members and friends who are there and can be with you—even grieving groups
Get outside, look around
Keep moving forward every day
You are your own advocate—concentrate your energy on find something good or that will make you happy.
When people are depressed, they project the same sorrow into the future.
Remind them they don’t know the future.
Focus on getting through today.
The aneurysm that paralyzed him
He took life one breath at a time—”live your life in every breath.”
Be thankful for the grace God gives to give you each moment and breath
The advice he gave to a diabetic in the hospital who lost part of his leg—coming from a man paralyzed from the neck down
Always look to give something back—even in your worst moment you can give something
Super-power of laughter: Jeff’s goal was to help people laugh when they came to visit him in the hospital. He realized he still had a lot to offer.
When Jeff woke up paralyzed he wondered where the instruction book was for this. Then he said, “When there is no instruction book for your life, write it yourself!”
He determined even though he was paralyzed that he was going to walk out of that hospital
Doing PT he couldn’t feel his body. He had to learn to think differently and take a leap of faith and try.
Focus on what you can do and use your energy in a positive manner
He had to motivate the PT to have him work. He gave 100% and he demanded 100% of them.
Set goals—ridiculous as they might me, and work for them.
How he walked without feeling his feet
What paralysis felt like starting from zero all over again—no matter where you are you can figure out miniscule steps to move forward.
His new job became working on overcoming paralysis
The funny story he had climbing the Notra Dame Cathedral stairs 6 months later
There are always two components to trauma and recovery—the physical component and the psychological. You have to work on both.
Remember while you are working hard that life is going on around you—pause and be thankful for the world around you. You can still breathe, smell, see a sunrise, feel the rain, etc. This ties into Jeff’s favorite Bible verse, Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know.”
Thank God for your journey—the good and the bad
It took time for him to allow patience and mindfulness back into his life.
Pilates and neuromuscular massage therapy are some of the treatments that helped him the most.
Don’t put a limit on the progress you can make. “Don’t let ‘I can’t’ into my vocabulary.”
“Do things because you want to, not because you have to.”
Connect with Jeffrey
Buy Jeffrey’s Book, Finding Forward
Website: https://www.jeffreyamorse.com/
Instagram: @finding_forward
Twitter: @Finding_Forward
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #paralysis #stroke #aneurysm #gratitude #babysteps #determination #courage #livelife #BibleVerse #BeStill #Laughter #Behappy #humor
Transcription
Jeffrey A. Morse 0:02
When I woke up from my surgery to finish to fix my aneurysm when my eyes opened, I thought everything seemed okay. First, I'm realizing I'm paralyzed. Next, I'm realizing it's difficult to breathe. And my life was a question mark for months. I was literally living one breath at a time. And I would say to myself, if I can just make it to the next breath, and that's how I lived for weeks. Live your life in every breath, but live to the next breath. And if I could do that, then I could conquer anything.
Tamara Anderson 0:47
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
My guest today was born in New Haven, Connecticut, grew up in Pomona Beach, Florida and is now living in Charlotte, North Carolina with his wife of 32 years Marilyn. He's had a career in the US Air Force flying strategic airlift, a career in commercial aviation with three different worldwide cargo airlines flying and teaching, and is now an airline instructor with a commuter airline. his passions are traveling and adventuring worldwide and his creative endeavors are beginning a new chapter in his life as a writer and becoming a motivational speaker. I am pleased to welcome Jeffrey A. Morse. Jeff, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Jeffrey A. Morse 1:59
Absolutely. Tamara, it's it's a pleasure to be here. Thank you for inviting me to your show.
Tamara Anderson 2:04
Oh, it's it's such an honor. So let me ask you what interested you in flying to begin with?
Jeffrey A. Morse 2:13
Well, when I was growing up in Connecticut, New Haven, Connecticut, my father used to take me to the Tweed New Haven airport, myself and my brother. And we would go visit with a friend of my dad's who was a pilot and aircraft mechanic. And at five years of age, that's where the aviation bug bit me. After moving to South Florida, growing up in Pompano, and going down to the Fort Lauderdale executive airport, or the Fort Lauderdale International Airport, we would just sit and watch planes take off and land for hours. And I would think to myself, you know, I want to do that someday. So I made that my goal and made the goal happen. The aviation bug bit me early. And here I am today, I'm still in the midst of it, and thankful for every single day I've had in aviation.
Tamara Anderson 3:09
Ah, well, that just sounds so amazing and stuff on and it's so fascinating to me when people figure out what they want to be when they grow up when they’re five. You know, oh my goodness, that that just blows my mind. But it took me a long time, even to the point when I was in college to figure out what I wanted to major in. And then life of course takes its twists and turns. Yes, they do. Oh, my goodness. So talking about twists and turns. Let's talk about a few in your life. Okay, life hasn't always been super easy. Why don't you talk to me a little bit about some losses in your family and also losses of friends within the military capacity and how how you were able to work through that?
Jeffrey A. Morse 4:08
For starters, losses and family you know, of course we all go through this throughout our lives. And one of the things that I realized at an early age was that you don't get do overs in life. So if you don't get do overs, then be with your family when you get these those opportunities because you never know when some twist of fate isn't going to work in your favor. I was always big with being with my grandparents, every opportunity I got even when I was in the military, and I had an opportunity to go home. Then later on in life in 2010 on Thanksgiving, while celebrating with my cousin Linda and her husband and me Most of the rest of the family, my father and his wife were down in South Florida celebrating. But I got a call from his wife on Thanksgiving telling me, my father had stage four melanoma. And I needed to tell the family, what happened. And after Thanksgiving was over, my wife and I said our goodbyes, I gave my cousin Linda a big hug. And she told me, Geoffrey, I'm here for you, with everything that's getting ready to happen. And I thanked her. And I drove home, we flew down to Florida. So we could be with my father, who was just going into the hospital when I arrived. And I spent the rest of November and December with my father as he slowly declined. And on December 23, he passed away. I was glad I got to be there with him during those last few weeks and share moments with him and be proud that I was his son, and that I had a lifetime of experiences and learning from him. And, yes, it was very difficult.
I remember calling my cousin Linda, standing on the beach, talking to her about everything that happened. And I managed to move through the next few days. And then it was time to go home. And I got on the drive home, I spoke to Linda once more, get home, get back into life, trying to get a grasp on the moment. And on January 1, I decided to go scuba diving with some friends and had a problem with my ears, I needed to come back up. And when I got to the surface, Marilyn was standing there. And she never shows up where I scuba dive. And suddenly, she's there. And as I'm getting out of the water, she said I have bad news. And the first thing I thought was maybe it was her parents. But then she told me my cousin Linda passed away the night before on New Year's Eve. I hadn't even put the luggage away, and we were having to repack to drive to Tennessee to now go to her funeral. And I hadn't even buried my father yet. So trying to get a grip on that moment was very difficult. And the one thing I was thankful of through it was that I had taken the time, every time I had an opportunity to spend with them. So I didn't have regret. And that was probably the most important thing in the world to me was that every time I had the opportunity to pick up a phone, write a letter, go visit in person, I did that. So yes, I was going to miss them dearly, because they were two of the most important people in my family. But I knew they were gone now. And I needed to figure out how to move forward, how to move on with my life. And the first six months of that were difficult, but I managed through.
For the friends in the military that took their lives. One of the one of the things I found in my teenage years, I had a friend that was hazed in high school. We were on a soccer team together and some of the other guys on the soccer team would haze him judge him because he wasn't playing to their level. And that bothered me. And I spoke to the other guys regularly about leaving him alone. Sometime later, he took his life. And that bothered me for years that I couldn't do anything. And I had a hard time trying to figure out how to move through that. I had another high school friend years later, take her life and then when it happened with the friends in the military. That was when I started realizing that I couldn't always be there. But the one thing that I did learn of it was and that I already knew was don't ever assume when you're talking to somebody that everything's okay. When you're speaking to somebody, be kind and let them know that yes, you are a friend. You are always there. So if something does go to that level, hopefully they'll reach out to you before they consider further going down that road. So there were a lot of life lessons and with each person that I knew that did that, I missed them very much to this day. But you do realize, there's only so much you can do. And you can't always be there. And that's probably the most disturbing part of it of all is that you may not sense what's going on within them, the conflict within them. All you can do is let them know you're always there, and you're never judging, you accept them, unconditionally, always. And if you can do that, with every friendship with every person that you know, to always be there unconditionally for them, hopefully, they know in times of trouble that they can reach out to you. And you should consider it an honor that they did, and help them, be there for them. That's very important. That's it. That's a big takeaway. And it was a big takeaway for me. As I proceeded into what happened to me years later, with my aneurysm, my stroke and paralysis, those were things that carried me through even in my darkest hours, that I knew that I had people there for me, and I was very grateful for that. So I always tried to find something positive, out of something negative, if there was anything that harmful, try to find your way through, but always try to be there for others. Hmm.
Tamara Anderson 11:38
Well, you have really pulled out some really important key points. And first, of course, is learning that, to be kind, to spend time with people, to look for the good in hard times. And those are hard to do, especially when you're grieving, when you're so sad. Because of either the choices of others, or perhaps the circumstances in your own life. What would you say to someone who is perhaps grieving right now, and just is having a hard time finding positive things to look at in their life?
Jeffrey A. Morse 12:31
The first thing I would say, is take a leap of faith. God is there, your family is there, your friends are there. If the family component of that is questionable, then find somebody else to speak to. There are so many groups that have people that are going through exactly what you're going through, reach out and try to find them. That's that leap of faith I’m talking about. Don't just think that there's no way out of the situation that you're in. You've got a big, beautiful world around you, if you can put one foot in front of the other, you're already a winner, walk outside, go look up at the big blue sky, and realize you do have a good life. You need change, yes, find a way through that. Find a way forward through it. But take that opportunity yourself to do that. And realize you are your own advocate here. And it may take you concentrating your energy on finding something good. And when you find it, embrace it, hold on to it. But don't just stop there. Keep trying to move yourself forward to find happiness again. And the least thing you can do is walk into the bathroom and look at the mirror and smile again. Remember how you do that, you know, that's not lost. So, start there, make that your first step, walk in and look at yourself in the mirror and just smile and realize that that's not broken. And if you can do that, if you can muster up the energy to do just that, then you have the energy to pull yourself out of whatever you're in. It's never going to be that bad.
Tamara Anderson 14:27
You know, I love what you shared there, it brought to mind just yesterday was talking to a loved one who was in a moment just really, really struggling. And it's interesting when we're down that we seem to project that sorrow and grief and sadness not only for that day the pain but we project it into the future with a view like it's never going to get better. You know, we talk in terms of absolutes, like it's not ever going to get better. It's always going to be this bad. And I remember turning to this family member and just saying, don't assume you know the future. I said, No, you don't have the strength to go through months and perhaps years of this struggle. But can you handle today? Can you handle the next five minutes? And so sometimes I think just taking that view and maybe not looking at tomorrow, and the next day and the next day, the next day, but just focusing on Okay, today, can I make it through today? And then taking those steps to do that? You know, because I think that's, that's often one of the biggest turning points is, is just mentally saying, Okay, I'm not going to project the awfulness of today into the rest of my life.
Jeffrey A. Morse 15:57
Yeah, you know, it's, it's interesting to hear you say what you just said right there. With trying to get through each day, when I woke up from my surgery to fix my aneurysm. When my eyes opened, I thought everything seemed okay until I realized I couldn't feel my body. And it was difficult to breathe. First I'm realizing I'm paralyzed. Next, I'm realizing it's difficult to breathe. And my life was a question mark for months. It was certainly a question mark for the next few weeks. And I was literally living one breath at a time. And I would say to myself, if I can just make it to the next breath. And that's how I lived for weeks, if I can make it to the next breath, live your life in every breath, but live to the next breath. And if I could do that, then I could conquer anything. And when I thought, well, it can't get worse than this. That week, when all this happened, it did get worse. It got a lot worse for me, but I wasn't going to let that in. And I found that if I could do that, live one breath at a time, and move that to a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, then be happy for that. Allow that grace into your life, and wrap your arms around it and be thankful for it. And anything else that happens in your life. And I'm talking about me when I say that, hey, it's not that bad. That particular week, while I lay on a bed in a hospital that I couldn't feel. And they moved me to the rehab center wing of the hospital, they moved me in with a gentleman who had diabetes, lost the leg below the knee as a result of it, and had given up on life. Gave up on the doctors, gave up on the nurses, gave up on the therapy. And every night we would sit and talk to three o'clock in the morning. I couldn't close my eyes because if I did, my body didn't exist anymore. So I was relegated to being awake 24 hours a day. Well, if I'm going to do that, I'm going to talk to somebody. Who better than the person in the bed next to me. And every day and every night, I would talk to him to try to inspire him and tell him your life isn't over. Okay, you lost a leg below the knee, get a prosthetic leg and get on with your life. Go live your life. Little did I know, the nurse's station was right outside of our door. And the nurses listened to me night after night, crying, listening to me trying to encourage him and why were they crying? Here's a man that's paralyzed from the neck down, trying to inspire somebody who lost a leg below the knee. While I was talking to him, I already accepted. If my life ends five minutes from now, I'm okay with that. I've lived a good life. I have no regret. I'm thankful for every moment that I've had in my life. Now let me try to inspire somebody else. I wasn't thinking about the paralysis. I was thinking about trying to help somebody, can I give something back to somebody else? Because I've lived a life of giving and that always brought me to a better place made my heart and my soul feel better. And all I wanted to do was try to help this man move on.
Tamara Anderson 20:01
I was just going to comment really quick that, that that idea of giving and giving back even when all you can do is breathe on your own, that is so inspiring. And, and I think that's another thing that helps us look out of ourselves is, is sometimes we get so consumed with our problems that we don't turn around and see the people around us. And I love the idea that you even in your worst moment, you can lift another through your words are through your thoughts, or through a text or through a smile or through, however you can, but that is another way to help turn around the grief inside of you. Absolutely. You know, alright, sorry, I interrupted you.
Jeffrey A. Morse 20:52
All I was gonna say to close that was he eventually lost his life. Because of giving up. And one of the things that I carry to this day is, whenever I have a bad day, no matter what it is, I think back to those moments in that first week in that hospital. And I remember what I was faced with at that moment. And if I need a little energy, to pull me through whatever I'm going through, to this day, I think back to those moments. And it reminds me to be thankful, to give grace, to acknowledge what you have, and to be mindful of what's around you. Not only your surroundings, but the people in your life, the people that you do help. And if I had nothing else, but to be paralyzed, I still had the ability to make somebody else feel good. And that was always important to me. Anytime somebody came to visit me in the hospital, if I could turn things around to get them laughing about something, to take the grief off of what they were staring at, and me being paralyzed. If I could get them laughing, that was feel for me, that made me feel good. It made me realize that, hey, I still have something to offer in my life. I can make somebody else happy. While they're staring at what they're staring at in me and realize, hey, I may be down. But my life's not over. I still have a lot to offer. And I'm going to offer every bit of that that I can every moment that I can.
Tamara Anderson 22:39
That is so impressive. Now, let's go back to that rehab center, you were moved from I'm sure the ICU into rehab. And take me on that journey for you what it looked like going from being completely paralyzed to where you are today. And and how you did that?
Jeffrey A. Morse 23:03
When I woke up from the surgery, realizing I was paralyzed. The first few moments of that are oh my god, my life's over. What do I do now? How do I progress? Where's the instruction book here? And I'm realizing, oh my god, there's there's no instruction book on this. And what are my first thoughts there? Well, you know what, write the instruction book, figure out whatever you're going to do over the next few years, figure out how you're going to take notes on it. Keep those notes journaling, but write a book about it and write to people that are also going through this and figure out how to talk to everybody and say, Hey, here's what I went through. Maybe some of this will help you while you're going through what you're going through. And in those first few moments. As I'm thinking about this, I'm thinking Well, alright, I'll write a book, I'll figure out how to do that. I'm going to talk about what do I want to call it? Well, how do I find my way forward out of this, Hey, there's an idea of finding forward. So those were the first few things on my mind. Then the doctor came in to say, well, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is you survive the bad news is more than likely you're never gonna walk again. And I just looked at him right in the eye and said, You know what, I'm done. I'm not out. I'm gonna walk out of this hospital. And he patted me on the shoulder and nodded and he walked out.
And I thought, Well, okay, I'm going to show you and so, but going on from there when they moved me into that rehab center, and eventually took me down to the physical therapy gym for the first time. It was on a Saturday morning. The physical therapists wraps a belt around me, she pulls me up out of the wheelchair to make me stand. And I couldn't feel anything. I'm standing on something I can't feel. And in that moment, I thought, don't think the way you used to think this is a leap of faith moment here. So run with it, okay, you can't feel what you're standing on. But this lady just stood you up, and you're standing on something. So let go of the fact that you can't feel it. Just let it go and stand there. So she let go, and I'm standing. Wow. But I couldn't feel. So a few moments later, I'm falling back into the chair. And I thought, well, you know what, if that can happen, other things can happen. So let's run with it. So as time went by, this thing of trying to make me move again, was more me, motivating everybody else in the physical therapy wing to say, look, I'm here to work. I'm not here to talk about my grief, talk about what's going on here. I'm here to work. So when I'm here, I want 100% out of you, because I'm going to give you 100%. Don't give me anything less. So when I come in this gym, you better be ready to work because I'm ready to work, you ask for 10 of something I'm going to give you 20. So that was something they weren't they were not used to. They were used to people giving up and I wanted others in wheelchairs to see that. I'm not down if you're looking in my direction. I'm working hard. And I'm going to make this thing happen. One of my therapists one day, stood me up on a walker, as I was progressing. And I said to her, what is it that I need to do to get out of the hospital to show you I can do what I need to do with this walker. And she said, Well, one day, you're going to need to be able to walk 50 feet assisted with a walker.
At that point, I could barely put one foot in front of the other and I still couldn't feel anything from the neck down. I'm holding onto a walker with two hands that I can't feel. I'm standing on two legs that I can't feel. And I looked at her and I said how far in front of me is 50 feet and she looked out beyond me. And she said, Well, the front door of the gym. And I said okay, fine, get out of my way. And I started doing that. And I wasn't gonna stop till I got my 50 feet.
And then I went beyond that to the point that she finally grabbed the wheelchair from the assistant behind me and lashed it into the back of my legs. She would always say to me, why do you do this, Jeffrey? And I said, I would say to her, Do you see those other people over there with a spinal cord injuries that are never going to walk again. I'm making these steps for them. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for others. That's what's important to me. That's what fuels me to move forward with this. I want my life back and I'm going to get my life back. Where is this going to go? I don't know. But I can't think about that right now. All I can think about is the present as I look forward. And if I can motivate somebody else to do something, then that's what I want to do. Those are the things that are important to me. As I move forward. Everything was a question mark, while I was in the hospital, right down to the point of would I be alive tomorrow? I couldn't answer any of those questions. All I could do was give 100% and try to make other people laugh in the face of what they were looking at. So that's what I did. And on the day, I made a promise to that doctor that I would walk out of that hospital and on the day that I left the hospital. They wheeled me to the front door. I grabbed my walker and ugly that it was I still walked I got myself up out of that wheelchair and I walked out to that car. Yes, every step might have been ugly when they were the best steps of my life. And I achieved that goal. So the other piece of this is setting goals. And that was what I did. From the moment I woke up paralyzed. I just started setting goals. Ridiculous as they might be. I set them. I set them four years down the road. And I accomplished every one of them. And the one that's most important to me now is I wrote the book, yes, but here we are having a conversation reaching out to people that need hope and inspiration. And and that just warms my heart more than I can begin to tell you.
Tamara Anderson 30:13
Well, you have such an inspirational story. And I love that in your mind you just you expected 100% from others, but you also expected it of yourself and you were there to give 100%. We're going to take a quick break. But when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
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So I have to ask the question, because my brain is just trying to process all of this. How in the world do you walk when you can't feel your feet?
Jeffrey A. Morse 31:52
Well, one of the things that was interesting there was as that physical therapist was trying to get my brain to lock back into my body, as time was going on. Although I couldn't feel at my skin level, I couldn't feel pain, I couldn't feel hot or cold. I didn't feel like a human being anymore, I didn't exist in that manner anymore. As a typical normal human being. One thing that I did have, though, was I could sense things at the deep tissue level. And they could tap into that through vibration. So if they tapped on my leg, I could feel the vibration of that tapping the pressure of it. And that was enough for me to lock into with my brain to talk to that part of the body to say, try to make that move. That took a lot of effort.
It began laying on my bed one evening, trying to get a total move, trying to get my hand to roll over a finger or fingers to move. Little by little I was able to tap into that. And it was so intense, it would cause headaches, because I was concentrating on it so hard. But I realized if I could do that, even though I couldn't feel any of it, then I could tap into more. And it was just trying to figure out how do you get there. So talking with the physical therapists, I could relay that information. And that was enough to get them to realize, oh, okay, hey, we know something we can do with that. So when they would get me standing, they would start tapping on my legs, for instance, for instance, my arms, but now walking, how do you achieve that? How do you achieve? Move one leg and you know, put one leg in front of the other. And where does all that begin? Well, it begins in your glutes, so she would tap me on the rear end, it was enough to realize, hey, there's a vibration there and it's enough for me to lock into. And then if she tapped on my hamstrings or my calf muscles, then I could tap into that and she would pull the leg forward. One of the other things that they did along those lines was they actually attached a robot to me to my body. And they had me suspended over a treadmill with this contraption attached to me and when they turn it on, your legs are moving. The robot is making you go through the movement and then they lower you down onto the treadmill while you watch an animated version of you on a television screen out in front of you. And they tell you try to mimic that. So I got a number of sessions of that, to try to help facilitate getting this picture in my mind again. One thing I can say about paralysis is, you know, from the moment you, you start crawling as a baby, from the moment you take your first steps, as a child, tie your shoes, put your clothes on, all of those things are on a whiteboard, if you will. Imagine you having a scribe in your brain, your entire life, and every time you do something new physically, something's written and instructions written on that board throughout your life, and then all of a sudden, you have this event, and you're paralyzed. And your scribe not only isn't there anymore, somebody has gone in, and they've erased all of those instructions for moving. And now you've got to relearn how to write on that board again, and make all that happen all over again, in your life, you're starting from zero, from the moment you were an infant, all over again. And it may seem daunting, but the one thing that you can say to yourself, as you ponder all this is, I'm alive. I survived, God had a reason for keeping me around.
There must have been a big reason to keep me alive through all of this, and I'm not going to let him down. I'm not going to let myself down. I'm not going to let my family or my friends down. I'm going to find my way through this thing, and make this stuff work. This is your job. Now. That was my job. My other job no longer existed. What was my job? 24 hours a day now figure out how to get my life back, figure out how to move. Those were the things that motivated me through this was not to think about the negative or the fact that something didn't move, okay, it doesn't move. Now figure out how to make it move. Six months later, I'm in Paris, with my niece and nephew and my family. And they wanted to go to the Notre Dame Cathedral to go climb to the top. And I said fine. I said, Great. Let's go do it. Let's go do the spiral staircase. I've done it before. I've got familiarity with it. I know what's involved with that. So yeah, let's go do that. Let's make that happen. So we started climbing. And halfway into it, they're getting a little winded. Well, I can't feel fatigue. All I know is go. So I climb to the top. We're enjoying ourselves up there. And when it was time to go down, when I got over to the spiral staircase, oh, no, the handrail is on the wrong side. So it's on the right side instead of my left and I couldn't feel my left hand. So now I'm staring at the stairwell, the spiral staircase trying to figure out how am I going to go down? And I just thought well turn around and go down backwards. Wow. So I did the spiral staircase backwards? Was I going to let this turn into a negative moment and be fearful of going down a spiral staircase? 300 something feet? Or could I turn it into something positive? So I did. My niece laughed at me and she said, you know uncle Jeff, you walk too slow, I'll see at the bottom. My nephew Ryan stayed with me and we laughed all the way down. So those were the things that were important to me through this was, you know, yes, find the positive. But if there's ever a chance to get to be an example, be the example. And if you can make fun of yourself along the way for others to laugh. Isn't that great that you can do that, that you can offer? That one thing. There's your superpower right there. So give back find a way to do that.
Tamara Anderson 39:20
I love that superpower of laughter and humor. There's so much to be said for that. Two of my sons were diagnosed with autism. My husband has always had a fantastic sense of humor and he has really helped me because I tend to be the more serious of the two of us. He has helped me to remember to laugh, laugh through the hard times, laugh you know, you will cry and sometimes laugh in the same breath. But but there is power in laughter and and I'm thankful for that. The other thing I wanted to pull out of your story that just really struck me as you were telling it was the idea that even walking, breaking it down, okay, first moved your glute than your hamstring, you know that. Sometimes when we're trying to get out of a situation that's difficult to move forward, “Finding Forward,” as your book title says, you have to break it down into such miniscule steps. But they're still steps. Wait, yes. Sometimes, yeah, it's going to be different, we're not going to be able to do the things that we used to do because of an aneurysm, or a stroke, or cancer, or whatever it is, life will look different. But you can still figure out even in miniscule amounts, the steps to help move you forward. Yes. Yeah, you can.
Jeffrey A. Morse 41:03
You know, along those lines in saying that, in, in the beginning, for me, I was breaking it down a little further to myself and saying, you know, it seems as I'm getting into this, that there's two components: the physical component, and the psychological component. Right now, it's 80% physical and 20% psychological, and it seemed in the beginning that, hey, it's going to be like that throughout. And the further I got into it, as time went on, that's when I started realizing it's actually the opposite. It's 80%, psychological and 20% physical, and the psychological component isn't just depression, those kinds of things. How you're getting through each day, the pain, what kinds of conversations am I going to have? It's finding out that there still is a world around you. There's still trees out there, birds are still singing. You can smell flowers in the spring, you can look up at a beautiful sky in the morning, a sunset or a sunrise. Those things are still going on around you. But you're so ingrained and pulled into this thing that you're doing all the time, that you're forgetting all this other stuff. And that stuff's important, too. Why are you doing all this hard work? Why am I doing this every single day, I'm beating on myself to find my way back through everything. And I was forgetting that one crucial thing, that life was going on around me that I needed to stop and observe that and be mindful of it, and thankful, because that's ultimately, why I'm fighting is to be able to recognize those things again. And it's so easy in a trauma to forget about it, to not even realize those things exist, that there there isn't a great that maybe you can go out and sit in your backyard, and just lay down on the grass, and look up. Just breathe. And listen. Take all the monkey chatter in your brain and just shelve it for a little while. And just look at what's going on around you. That's the stuff that's important too. And say, Thank you, God for giving me my life. And for letting me continue. I don't know why you, you chose me for this path for this journey. But I'm thankful for. And I acknowledge that every day. And when you choose to speak to me to let me know why I'm here. I'm willing to listen, to open up to be objective, to let you in and embrace what you're telling me so I can go forward and give that message out or do whatever it is that you need me to do. Those things are important.
Tamara Anderson 44:18
That gratitude is such an important component, isn't it?
Jeffrey A. Morse 44:21
It really is. It really is.
Tamara Anderson 44:24
And, and I love how you reminded us to, when we're grieving or when we're going through a hard time, pause. It's almost like you're off too. If we had a remote control, pause those emotions through and go outside, take a breath of fresh air and just observe the world around you. Look at the sky like you said, look at the trees, find little things to be thankful for maybe that you can see. Or if you can't see maybe you can hear and find things to be thankful for, time to connect with God. You have a favorite Bible verse that you wanted to share. And I think it's very applicable as we're talking about this, would you mind sharing that really quick?
Jeffrey A. Morse 45:14
Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know…” That's what drives us to realize God is still there. It's important to know that. My physical therapist taught me tha,t told me one day when she was working with me that I needed to stop and think about these things. And, and at one point, she said to me, you need to tell yourself, you're okay. And four years into it, I hadn't stopped to think about that. I thought about so many things along the way. But nobody ever said that to me. And that was a real defining moment for me to stop and say that, she said, say that, say those words to yourself, that you're okay, you survived this, you made it through, there's a reason you made it through. And up to that point, I hadn't really thought about it, I thought about the struggle the entire way. But this was when I was really starting to discover that I needed to sit and observe more, and to let more life in. Because I was beating on myself so hard, physically, to try to get my life back. And although I may have observed some of this, here and there, and I was taking the time, to give myself that time back to lay down in the backyard and look up, I wasn't doing it enough. And thanks to her, she got me thinking about it even more. And when I started doing that, that's when I started calming down more, letting patience and letting mindfulness back into my life again. And I was able to move on much better from that point on. And then, six months later, after, she told me that in June of 2016, and the end of November 2016, I decided to take a trip to Nepal for two weeks on my own, just to get away from it all. Why was I doing all this hard work? What was all that supposed to be for if I can't go enjoy my life? And I need to do this on my own. And I need to go someplace I've never been, get off the grid, and go plan a bunch of insane things for myself to do. And I did that. And I told myself with these adrenaline junkie things that I set myself up to do you know what if you can do it great. And if you can't do it, that's great, too, because at least you tried.
Tamara Anderson 48:14
Tell me some of the things you did. I'm dying to know.
Jeffrey A. Morse 48:21
I did, I set something up called parahawking. So if you look at the front cover of my book, that's a picture of that day where I went off the top of a 6000 foot mountain paragliding and feeding an Egyptian vulture in flight. So I did that in the morning. In the afternoon, after I finished that, hopped on a bus, went back up to the top of the same mountain to go zip lining for the first time in my life at 90 miles an hour. I took a paragliding flight up into the Himalayan Mountains with it. Oh, I think it was 10 degrees below zero that day we did that. When I got back to Katmandu, I chartered a helicopter to take me to Mount Everest. And that was the highlight of my trip. We landed at a plateau at 18,500 feet. I got out of the helicopter and there were a few things that I needed to do that I did. It was personal to me. I talked about it in the book. That was the highlight of me going there. And I accomplished that too. And you know, part of it was to tell the doctors who told me I was never gonna walk again. Hey guys, here I am facing Mount Everest and I made that happen too. Went over to the Mount Everest Hotel at 13,000 feet to have breakfast and share a bottle of champagne with a bunch of perfect strangers. Japanese lady asked me when I asked, Hey, would you like to celebrate with a glass of champagne? And she said, Sure, what are we celebrating? And I said life and she said, Great. I'm all in. So we hoisted our glasses towards the Himalayan Mountains and had a nice glass of champagne. So it was fun doing that.
Tamara Anderson 50:30
So let me ask you, where are you right now with your paralysis? Can you feel any better than you used to?
Jeffrey A. Morse 50:37
Yes, I do. I've gone through so many different types of therapy, I took all that on my own. From the time I got out of the hospital, I was going to try everything that I could from yoga, to Pilates to working in the gym, to Tai Chi, you name it, I tried everything that I could. Pilates. I can't say enough about what Pilates does for somebody in my condition. Working the small stability muscles, can't say enough about it. And I would tell anybody out there. If you're looking for something to help you go chase that down. The other two things that I would suggest that have helped me and the one at the very top of that is neuromuscular massage therapy. And the reason I say that this holistic therapy has been by far the biggest thing that's helped me when you go through one of these things, it sets your your sympathetic nervous system on fire. Your your sense of fight or flight. And when that goes into afterburner, it starts producing fascia inside of you. You already have fascia in you. It's kind of like a membrane spider webbing that holds all your muscles and your organs in place. Well, when something like this happens, the fascia production goes into overdrive. And when it's doing that, it's choking off the circulation to your nerves. And you start to notice you feel like you're on fire, because of all the burning sensation from your nerves being choked off. The neuromuscular massage therapy, over time has been breaking all that down to allow that circulation to manifest itself again. And when those nerve endings are suddenly able to start working again and telling muscles what they need to do. I'm noticing that I'm able to move more move more effectively, stability muscles are working again. Do I still have limitations? Yes, I do. But can I take myself out on a mile walk? Unassisted? Yeah, absolutely. Yes, I can do that. Can I stand in a classroom and teach for eight hours? Yeah, I can do that too. Can I go to the grocery store? Can I put gas in my car? Yes, I can do all that. Can I hold a bag of groceries with two hands? Yes, I can I do that too. So can I feel 100%? No, I can't do that. But each day I get better. Each day I move better. My stability is better. My gait is improving. As I put one foot in front of the other. I can walk on unprepared surfaces now without falling. Do I have to watch my steps? Sure. But do I need to concentrate on it? Like I used to know, Can I look forward when I'm walking instead of looking down at my feet to make sure one foot is going in front of the other. I don't need to do any of that anymore. So the holistic therapy that I found along my journey has helped me leaps and bounds beyond me chasing another course not to say those other courses are bad. They're not. But I found this has helped me 150%. And I can't say enough about it. One of the other things that helps with that fascia is something called dry needling. And when I have that done it, it pulls that fascia towards the needle and it gets rid of the fascia, but am I better? I'm 1000 times better than where I was laying in bed paralyzed. So can I function on my own? Absolutely. Absolutely, yes, I, you know, I have to move a little slower. I wish I could run again. But I'm happy that I can put one foot in front of the other and do every other thing that I can do right now. I have to do things a little differently. And that's all okay. Perfectly okay.
Tamara Anderson 55:19
Wow, I love that you talk about your progress, that it's that you've come miles and miles and miles where you've been, but it's just been by these teeny, tiny, itty bitty steps. And to not put a limit on your, your ability to make progress. Because I think too often, like you said, sometimes it's psychological. And it you know, in my brain, I won't be able to do that. Well, you're right. If you think you can't, it can't. But I love how you just have opened yourself up to saying, let's see, let's try. Your doctor would just be blown away to see how far you've come. You know, so don't don't put limits on your body's ability to heal. The body is amazing and can heal. And God designed to be that way. You know, it's it's pretty incredible.
Jeffrey A. Morse 56:18
Yeah, you know, one of the things I said in the beginning is don't let can't into my vocabulary. I don't want to let “I can't” into my world. And the other thing that I said to myself, and I've said for many years is do things because you want to not because you have to.
Tamara Anderson 56:39
Oh, my goodness, Jeff, this has been so fun. So there are going to be people out there that are like, I want to go buy Jeff's new book. So you can hear all but the other details that he hasn't been able to share in this short interview, tell us where we can find your book, “Finding Forward.”
Jeffrey A. Morse 56:57
So it's available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walgreens and Target. I hope everybody who needs it and needs a different perspective, yes, please read it. I wrote it for so many reasons. One to say thank you for everybody who helped me get there and to acknowledge them. But also to reach out to everybody who needs to find that instruction book that some other means of getting to where you want to be. And live your life. Enjoy the journey. And be happy, smile. Every day is a gift. Be thankful for that. That's what's most important.
Tamara Anderson 57:41
Absolutely. Now, where can we contact you and find you on social media? We'd love to know that as well. Because there will be people will be like, I need to connect with Jeff. I want to follow him.
Jeffrey A. Morse 57:56
The first thing I would say is please do, if you want to reach out please do. I can be reached on my website, which is jeffreyamorse, it's all one word, no dots in between. So jeffreyamorese.com. You can reach me on Facebook, Jeffrey A. Morse, or Finding_Forward. You can find me there on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. And it would be a pleasure and an honor to meet anybody that wants to reach out and speak. I'm always looking forward to talking to people and hearing their story that's important to me too.
Tamara Anderson 58:39
Well, it is good to hear other people's stories. We learn so much from the stories that we listened to. Yes.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website storiesofhopepodcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with him. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling, with hope to carry on and the strength to keep going when things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, Remember God loves you.
You can find the transcription of today's episode here: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/jeffrey-a-morse-finding-forward-after-paralysis