Coree Sullivan: Don’t Just Rebound After Divorce! Heal & Thrive!
After trying to unsuccessfully rebound after a few divorces, Coree finally figured out the importance of becoming a whole person through healing with God. She shares her passion to help those who have gone through the pain of divorce find the healing journey that puts them in a position to thrive.
Episode Discussion Points
Funny story of a snake while she was helping a woman in Paraguay on a healing journey
What Coree thought life would look like for her when she was in high school
Her first marriage ended in divorce after 10 years and why she shouldn’t have done a quick rebound marriage, and another marriage.
Coree finally realized she needed to do some healing before she moved forward, but she had to hit rock bottom to figure out she needed to heal. She realized the common denominator was her.
AFter reading a book about the Law of Attraction she realized she was attracting what she was putting out there: “Two broken people attract each other.”
In order to attract a whole and healed person, you need to be a whole and healed person.
How once she came back to church and started learning the truth and developing a relationship with God, that God was able to help her heal.
She also found it was important to have a good support group of friends.
Half way through her healing she got a coach to keep her accountable.
God designed us to have relationships with others—because in relationships with others is where we grow.
How Coree likes to make quiet time in the morning to connect with God. This usually includes prayer, praise music, talking to God about what she should do that day and how she wants to do what He wants her to do that day. “Help me to stay out of my agenda and do Your agenda today.”
How she has learned to give God the troubles she is facing and how she asks God to help her with those.
At the end of the day Coree likes to write things she can celebrate from the day or how she has seen God’s hand. She also records the answers she gets.
Because there is always bad happening, recording and looking for good has given her a “different pair of eyes” to see and attract good in her life.
“If you really want change in your life, you’re going to have to be intentional about making it happen.”
Inner peace takes time to achieve, but now Coree is in such a better place and has awesome friends.
Advice to Divorcees
You’re not alone in your journey—even though it may be unique to you, God is with you.
Allow God in to help you heal. Healing is worth it in the end.
Treat your heart like a garden and pull out the hurtful things there: fear, rejection, hatred, anger, shame and guilt so we can let the flowers grow.
Be realistic about where you are and start right there at the crossroads
Be intentional—don’t just wander. Know what you want and where you want to go.
Be real with yourself about where you are in your journey.
Set goals. (Example: Don’t tear down your former spouse because God loves them and it won’t make you any bigger.)
For the really hard days—Set a goal to do one thing for yourself every morning before you leave home (ex: make sure your clothes match or that you get a shower).
Read a declaration for you and your life daily. (Check out the Patricia King’s book she used for her declarations here.)
Replace the Adversary’s Negative thoughts with Positive Affirmations. Write positive affirmations all over to remind you of your worth, for example: on your phone, on your car visor, on you mirror.
Make new happy memories: Once you tackle little things start setting bigger goals to tackle places or things you are avoiding because of memories (like visiting certain restaurants). Hack: To make it easier, take a good friend with you.
Remember the car windshield analogy: the front window is so much bigger and broader that always looking through the little rearview mirror. Move forward to bigger and better things with God’s help.
Build a core group of friends you can be real with on the days that are hard. You can even have them pray with you over the phone or perhaps they will drop everything and come and help. (And return the favor for them too).
Don’t forget the power of prayer—the Holy Spirit can help pull you up.
Work to ensure your self-talk is positive. Don’t say things to yourself that you would never say to anyone else. Give yourself grace. Invite God to teach you what He has to say about who you are and your worth.
Bible Verse
Jeremiah 29:11
Connect with Coree
Website: https://coreesullivan.com/
Check out her 90-Day program to get the clarity and set the goals you need after divorce.
Want a free consultation with Coree? She is offering this as a gift to you, my listeners. Check out her calendar link to schedule a free 30 minute consult https://calendly.com/corees/destiny-after-divorce-consultation
Get her book, Destiny After Divorce.
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #divorce #healing #help #notalone #positiveaffirmations #lawofattraction
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/podcasts/coree-sullivan-dont-rebound-after-divorce-heal-thrive
Coree Sullivan 0:03
In some quiet time that I've had, Lord, give me some affirmations that will help me in the morning. And I just had to read one of those. And sometimes I had to put it on a card, or put it in my planner, and on my visor for my car because I drove a lot around from place to place and just places where I would see it throughout the day. Because the enemy can speak one thing to you that is negative, but it's going to take seven or eight things positive, to cancel out that negative thing.
Tamara Anderson 0:37
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 1:02
My guest today is the author of the best selling book, destiny after divorce. As a certified divorce recovery coach, her passion is to help those who have gone through the pain of divorce, find the healing journey that puts them in a position to thrive in their after divorce future. She has two married daughters, six grandchildren and three great grandchildren and lives in northern Colorado, where she enjoys outdoor activities. She also enjoys traveling and beach time, I am pleased to present Coree Sullivan. Coree, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Coree Sullivan 1:37
I am Tamara. And I just want to thank you for having me on today. And I want to thank you that you do this podcast to create hope for people in all kinds of situations. So it is an honor to be on your podcast.
Tamara Anderson 1:53
Well, thank you thank you. It's it's it's a labor of love, for sure. would have to be. Well, let's start off and break the ice here a little bit with a fun story about you going to help someone with an inner healing journey and a snake being involved.
Coree Sullivan 2:15
I'm involved in an inner healing ministry here in Northern Colorado, and we went to Paraguay on a missions trip, to teach that ministry to a church that our church helps support. And so we're it's you know, we're their churches and outdoor church as a lot of them are down there because it's nice down there all the time, most of the time. And, but there was a platform that had, you know, hovering and everything on the platform. We were faced, we were in this tent, they'd made up these rows of tents. So there were 10 of us on this trip. But and we were doing these sessions in these tents. One side was completely open, but the back and the sides were closed because we had neighbors and people behind us.
Coree Sullivan 3:08
Well, I'm in the middle of, of this healing session. And there's a part where, you know, they pray and so we were just getting to that part and I look up behind her coming across the platform and back down into the grass is this snake going like Okay, I am a tomboy, I might do the nails and all the lights and stuff, but I at heart am a tomboy. So I've dealt with my snakes before I and I looked at my interpreter and my guest and I just set great time for them to be praying. And so I said so, you know, let her to get started in her prayer and she started in and my interpreters interpreting what she's saying and everything and I'm pick up a water bottle, I think I don't even know what kind of snake I'm in a different country with the snake as but as I watched it, it was like sensing things.
Coree Sullivan 4:18
So later to come out to find out they don't have very good vision, but they sense things with their nose and they're not poisonous, which was good to know. would have been better to know before. But yeah, and that was the case I said Lord, I don't know what to do here but you're gonna have to help me. So I picked up my water bottle. And as his Amina is making a beeline for my guest. And so I put my water bottle down in front of it. So it's known as bumps the water bottle, and it starts to go off a little ways and it's best to correct to come back and then put it down again and it goes off. Well at this point. There they are. They're done with the prayer and everything and they're opening their eyes and they're looking They're, and they're. And they jumped up on their chairs and, and then some of the people who were there came around to help and they just got a shovel and took it over to another part of the grass.
Coree Sullivan 5:15
And it was a harmless snake. And it was really only probably maybe 14 inches long. And I know it was, but you know, I have to say it was probably my only snake experience out like that was an actual in the grass snake.
Tamara Anderson 5:35
Oh, my goodness. Well, I'm glad you all survived the snake experience.
Coree Sullivan 5:41
It was it was it was momentous.
Tamara Anderson 5:45
Oh, my goodness. Well, thank you for sharing that it it kind of helps us all laugh a little bit and realize that life doesn't always play out how we think it will. And I think that's probably also symbolic of your journey. Right, Coree? And so why don't you take us back to what you thought your life was going to look like? And how it kind of didn't turn out the way you thought?
Coree Sullivan 6:09
Well, you know, I remember, actually, I was thinking about this the other day. I remember in high school, sitting with my girlfriends in study hall. And we were all going to be married and have these families and just be these amazing moms. And you know, we're just, we were laying it all out there. And you know, I wanted a boy and a girl. And then you know, and I wanted four kids. And, you know, we and everybody just kind of went through their thing, and what they felt their life look like. And it was going to look like because we were seniors in high school. And we had it all together, right?
Tamara Anderson 6:51
Absolutely. I remember feeling that way when I was a senior in high school.
Coree Sullivan 6:56
Exactly. We're just thinking, oh, yeah, this is going to be great. Fast forward found. Shortly after I graduated, found my found the man that I married my, my husband, my first husband, now fell in love. And had we had two amazing kids. And after 10 years of marriage, we filed for divorce, we actually came to an agreement that we did, you know, we were not working and and he wanted to go be more of a permit kind of person. And I was in banking at that time. And I loved being out with the people and doing things. And so we went our separate ways co parented it was a good co parent. And so we did, did that.
Coree Sullivan 7:50
And I just got right back out there and started dating and going out and doing fun things and met another man. And I just, I just said he was great, because he loved to do these out. He was enjoyed playing golf, and he enjoyed being out with the people and, you know, doing all the things that I enjoyed doing. So we started dating, and probably about a year and a half later, we married and then he was abusive to my girls. And that was the end of that. But I look back on it was a rebound marriage. And it was a marriage based totally upon the fact that I had not gone through any healing that from the wounds that had, you know, that my heart had incurred during my marriage. And through the divorce process, even though it was fairly amicable, there were still wounds. Plus, growing up. Nobody grows up and Leave It to Beaver land except for Leave It to Beaver and it's only on TV, and it's on and people probably don't even know who that is anymore.
Tamara Anderson 8:58
But I know it is.
Coree Sullivan 9:01
So there we go. So there were wounds and I, I did not learn in a healthy manner. I learned a lot of unhealthy things. So I needed to find that healing within myself from those things, as well as the things that went on in my marriage that were so hurtful to my heart. But I didn't know that then. So I stayed single for a while and I married the man that I thought I'd be married to forever. And after nine years of marriage, we were divorced as well.
Coree Sullivan 9:34
So then I realized I needed there was something that needed to be changed and that was I really and truly needed the inner healing. I needed to let go of all of that because what I had done was bring in not only the wounds from my early years, but the wounds from my past marriages into this marriage, as did he and expectations And you know, those kinds of things were so not what reality really, truly was. And we would base those expectations on wounds. And we also, so what I've learned is two broken people attract each other.
Coree Sullivan 10:15
You know, it's not like on the Disney movie where old time elephant back in those days that says, Oh, she completes me, no, you do not complete each other. You can't, you have to come together as a whole person. In order to attract the whole person, you have to be a whole and healed person. And we're not ever 100% Heal this side of heaven, but we can be the best that we can be. And so that's what I want people to know, is that it is the process of healing. Don't go right back out there and do what the world says to get back on the horse. And, you know, and all things will be fine, because it's not that we have wounds, they had wounds, and we came together and those wounds made us attractive to each other. But it also did not make a good foundation for a good marriage.
Tamara Anderson 11:11
So how did you end up figuring out that you needed to heal? What did that process look like for you? Did you just finally hit like a rock bottom? And yeah, but all on God's kind of taught me through that journey?
Coree Sullivan 11:28
Well, I did get to a bottom, a rock bottom that I just said, What am I doing wrong? Because obviously, in my life, the common denominator was me. I had read a book about the law of attraction. And there are some things that are faith based in that book, but it's not really a faith based book. If you look at it from a context of faith, you can spot things in there in that book, but it basically led me to really realizing that I was attracting what I was putting out there. And not knowing or realizing that I had all these wounds from my early years. And then through the marriages, and all that rejection, I was a chocolate mess.
Coree Sullivan 12:20
And this is not what I wanted for my life. This is not what I signed up for this is not what anticipated my future to look like when we were sitting there. In Study Hall in my senior year going on, I'm gonna be this and I'm going to do that and I'm gonna go to school and learn this and Baba Baba blah. No, I wanted to be a flight attendant. That's what I wanted to be. And I wanted to be the best mom I could possibly be. And I really wanted to have that secure, marriage, marriages are always work. Marriage is always coming together. You're never always on the same page. But there's still that baseline, that foundation.
Coree Sullivan 13:02
And I came to know the Lord when I was eight years old. But when I was 18, I saw some things in a couple of the deacons of our church, and I was going to a church that was very fundamental. And I just thought I am never going to ever measure up to all the rules that I've got to follow. So I'm just going to be the best person I can be. And still, you know, had my relationship with the Lord, but just didn't go to church anymore. did take the girls when they were little to Sunday school and things like that, and participated there. But that was pretty much the extent. But when I was in my mid 40s, I did come back to the Lord and have been walking with him ever since then has been the best journey. Yeah.
Tamara Anderson 13:55
So in your walk with the Lord, is that when you discovered the true healing that you were seeking for was? Did you have a mentor? Talk me through that.
Coree Sullivan 14:06
So I read the book, and I started going to church and found a church that was truly Bible based, but also talked about relationship which I had never learned about relationship with Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. So I started to develop those relationships, you know, with the Godhead. And through that, I realized that I had some wrong beliefs about who father, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit were based upon my early teachings. But I started that healing process of really getting down to the truth.
Coree Sullivan 14:47
And, you know, renouncing the lies and the pain and all of these things and inviting Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit into the places that needed to healing Jeremiah 29:11 became my mantra at that point. So, you know, and that is, for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to, for good and not for disaster. And depending on which, you know, can be for evil for bad, to give you future and a hope. And that's what I needed future and hope. And that became my mantra.
Coree Sullivan 15:28
So as I went through that healing process, I realized there were areas that some places I just needed to go back to basics about who Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were and the parts that they played in my walk with Father God, then from that, the healing started to happen. So in my book, that's how I start people back on their healing process after their divorce is to develop that relationship. And I thought I had an okay relationship, I prayed, and, you know, and I believed in all of that, but there's so much more. And since then there, it's become so rich, in our time, the quiet time I crave that quiet time sometimes, but and when I do that, I know that I've been pushing myself through kind of a desert, maybe.
Coree Sullivan 16:25
So, so I did get a coach towards the middle of my process, because I found that I needed someone to keep me accountable, I had my little support group of friends. And I recommend that everybody have that support group of friends, that will, they won't tell you something unless it's true. You know, it's like, when you try on a new outfit, and you kind of are not so sure, if it really looks good, you does this really look good. And they go, Yeah, looks great. And then you turn around, and one person says, you know, really, I wouldn't wear that. You know, and that's the person you want. That's the person that's going to give you the truth. And so I had a few of those friends, as well as a couple of family members. But then I needed, I needed a professional that would intentionally hold my feet to the fire, to get through where I wanted to get through.
Coree Sullivan 17:28
Because as good as my friends and my support group were family members, I still, they still sometimes did not hold my feet to the fire. And they didn't really have the training to help me see further. And that person that coach was, had been where I was, had been through divorce, had understood where I was at, in my, you know, in how I was feeling and my emotions and all of those things. And so it was, it was really key to my healing and being able to move forward to where I am today.
Tamara Anderson 18:11
I love that you are willing to share this story because one of the things that you said, I can't remember exactly how you phrased it, you said something like, you figured out that you weren't the only one that walked that. And I think that is one of the adversaries best tactics when we're feeling down is to kind of isolate us and make us feel like you're the only one feeling this right now nobody else gets it. Nobody else understands when that is an absolute lie. And I love that you you said that you kind of learn to kick out all the lies. But I love that you surrounded yourself with a support group that you were able to tap into the power of God for that healing. And so it seems that part of that healing journey is not only inviting thought in to help and heal, but inviting people in to surround you that were meant to be together on this walk in life. We're not meant to do it alone. And and also, sometimes we need specialists that will will help us as we're trying to make progress. Because we do we need people around us not only just for support, but we also need people who encouraged us to take those hard steps like
Coree Sullivan 19:33
ah I don't know that I want to do that. Right.
Tamara Anderson 19:37
Exactly. That is that is powerful though and I love I love that that's applicable to any of us right that it is that we need. We need other people
Coree Sullivan 19:49
we do we really were God designed as for relationship. And you know, let's just think about that the God of the universe. Who could do and have anything and everything that he absolutely wanted, designed us for relationship, you know, with him and with others, and we are in that walk of relationship is where we grow.
Tamara Anderson 20:13
Why isn't that the truth, because we need to learn how to relate to others had been wrong with them. And yeah, we all get a little broken on our journey. And that's why we have to come back to God. And I also love another thing that you talked about, and that was kind of your quiet time with God. And that's kind of how you were able to nurture your relationship. And that's something I've found that I crave to, like, I need that my life is stressful and crazy enough that I need those quiet moments where I have that connection with God, you know. So I was just going to ask you, what do you find yourself doing in your quiet time with God?
Coree Sullivan 20:55
Well, you know, it sometimes varies. But typically, my starting point is, I just know that I need that quiet time. And I try to have some quiet time every single morning anyway, just to get my day started. Because I can't start it any other way anymore. I like to, sometimes I read a little bit of Scripture, sometimes to get started. Sometimes I just put on some praise and worship music, I have, like five or six different songs, you know, that speak to me in the words and the melody and everything I I really do enjoy music, it does move me I love to country dance, and I love to do all things, music, even some of the classical stuff. I enjoy it as just as just as much.
Coree Sullivan 21:46
So I but I find that that's where I start, you know, talking with him praying, praying is talking with Father God, it's nothing more, nothing less. It's actually a communication throughout the day. And it's Lord, thank You for this new day. What do you want to do today? I want to do what you want to do today. I don't want to I don't want to get hung up and stuck on my own agenda, which I do. And, you know, so help me stay out of my agenda, I want to be in your agenda. And you know, and if there's some things that are really, truly bothering me and say, Lord, I just give this to you, because I don't know what to do about this particular situation. Or this situation hurts my heart or this situation is causing me confusion, or the lack of clarity that I'm needing for my day. So show me what it is that you have for me in this situation. And sometimes he shows you or me right away. And sometimes it's later in the day, and sometimes it's a month later. So, you know, it just depends. So it just kind of depends on Lord, what do you want to do today?
Tamara Anderson 23:04
That is beautiful. I love that you involve him in that decision every day that you kind of give him the stuff that you're having a hard time with. I know that I've I've had so many prayers, and you're right, it is almost on a daily basis. I'm worried about this. I'm concerned about that. And sometimes the answers come, you know, just little thoughts. And like you said, sometimes they're quick. And sometimes you just kind of gotta wait for his timetable for everything to fall into place. But isn't it true, though, that when you give it to God, that it's almost like you're giving him permission to start moving the chess pieces around, you know, and say, Okay, we're gonna start working on this problem. And he probably has even way before we asked, but yeah,
Coree Sullivan 23:55
yeah, well, he doesn't force himself on us. You know, you have to ask. Yeah. And so yeah. And then you look back at the end of your day and go, Wow, I didn't expect that to happen. Or that to work out that way. And but I'm glad that it did. And it's pretty exciting that the God of the universe, that of me enough that he worked that out for me today.
Tamara Anderson 24:19
So at the end of the year day, do you kind of just ponder how you've seen God's hand in your life then?
Coree Sullivan 24:26
Yeah, and I don't do it all the time. But I tried to journal. I'd started this early on in my my healing walk. And that was to journal things that were things I wanted to celebrate for that day. There are days and they happen for all of us, where we have to really look for the one thing that we can celebrate that day, you know, right and, and that's okay. You know, because then we in in all of that chaos and all of that mess, there was this one thing that we Could something. And so I try to make a list of those. Because when I'm feeling like there is no hope, and there is no way to move forward, and there is no answer coming, and now on all the things, and maybe even, you know, feeling a little depressed about the whole situation, I can go back to my journal and say, Okay, well, and I put the dates. On January 12. He responded to this, you know, I prayed about this, and he responded with this. And or, on July 4, you know, this happened even though I didn't expect this, I knew it was a celebration of our country and everything. But even more, he showed me his more grand plan of whatever, you know, or I came to a crossroads, and I didn't know which way to go. And on April 3, so Lord led me down this path. And it's been a great path.
Tamara Anderson 25:58
I was just thinking, as you were saying that kind of back to the beginning of our conversation, where you talked about the law of attraction, and how here you are a different person at this point. And you're giving out goodness, and you're giving out hope. And and you're, you're looking for good. And so it's almost like you're attracting that also into your life, that you're starting to probably see it more, do you think you see it more easily now than you did when you started?
Coree Sullivan 26:28
I do. I do. I mean, I've always been a pretty optimistic person anyway, maybe to a fault in some areas. But but it has given me a different pair of eyes to see things. You know, because let's face it, there are ugly things going on in our world all the time each and every single day. And if that's what we focus on, then, you know, that's going to drag us down and will attract probably more darkness into our lives, you know, because we're focusing on what the enemy is doing at that point. But if we're focusing on what Father God's doing, and all the light that he brings, because darkness can't hide from the light, yes. And so if we focus on the light, and we focus on not only for us in our lives, but for other people, then we do bring them hope, and we do help them see the world with a different pair of eyes.
Tamara Anderson 27:26
Hmm. That is so beautiful. I really like that. You were so intentional about looking for it, and that it has transformed you personally. What do you wish you could tell people who are starting on a journey where they're going through a divorce right now? What do you wish you could tell them to give them hope?
Coree Sullivan 27:51
Well, my first thing is, I would tell them, they are not alone. That their journey, even though it was their journey, and there are characteristics and things that happened on their journey, that would be different from mine, or from anyone else's I've ever worked with. They're still rooted in, typically fear. They're rooted in rejection, and sometimes rooted in hatred. They're all hurtful things that happen in our hearts. And we really need to treat our heart as a garden. We need to pull out all of those weeds of hurt and anger and rejection and shame and guilt and all these things. Because then the flowers in our heart can't grow because they're being choked out, to let them know that they're at a crossroads because they are able to go now to a new life. And it may not been the life that they chose, you know, a lot of times people go through divorce and it wasn't their wish or their will that that happened. But that is what happens. So this is where you are.
Coree Sullivan 29:01
So first of all, you have to be realistic about where you are and start right there. That's what I had to do. I had to be realistic about I was the common denominator between these people. What were the things that each and every one of these men had characteristics. Obviously, I have those two, because I attracted them to or they were attracted to me and I was attracted to them. I needed to get rid of that. And you have to be intentional. You mentioned intentional in being intentional is the absolute key to success for anything that you do. You can't just go wandering back out into the world and say, Okay, well, that chapters closed. I'm opening a new chapter in my book of my life. And I'm just going to go on this walk about, you know, it doesn't work that way. You really truly have to be intentional, because otherwise you are Truly a prime target for the enemy, because as long as you are not focusing on what it is that would benefit you in your life, he's going to mess with you in areas that are not going to benefit you in your life.
Tamara Anderson 30:16
Hmm. So maybe like setting goals,
Coree Sullivan 30:20
setting goals, setting goals have a vision, I have a program that you go through, and it is a 90 day program. And once you go through it, you really should have most everybody does have a clarity of where they want to go. I am a certified divorce recovery coach, which involves I've had certified training and instruction in life coaching. And I've just adapted it to utilizing the inner healing tools that I have, and adapted it to divorce, recovery, healing, because, again, people don't talk about you need healing, after your divorce, they talk about going back out there and finding another person and getting involved and getting married again, and life will be awesome. And no, it's not. You know, so being intentional about your next step setting goals, set small goals, maybe, you know, I know, I had to set some very small goals, when I very first started, I needed to set a goal of not speaking bad about my former spouse. Because really, they God loved them just as much as he left me. But you know, so not to tear down other people because it did not make me be any bigger. You know, any better.
Tamara Anderson 31:44
That's a really good tip. I love that.
Coree Sullivan 31:47
Yeah. And then the next one was, you know, some days, it was just challenging to get up, I pretty much had been an entrepreneur most of my adult life. And so you have to get out of bed, and you have to do things each and every single day. But there were days that I did not want to get out of bed and did not want to put myself out there and did not want to be you know, act like life was all hunky dory and all of that, and I had things going on because I so did not. So I had to set the goal of accomplishing at least one thing in the morning, before I left. Whether it was even just you know, making myself look okay to go out the door, you know, making sure my clothes matched and all of that kind of thing, or, because yeah, I mean, when you're not when you're depressed. And when you're not feeling like you're that you have very little value. It doesn't, you know, that can be a big stumbling block.
Coree Sullivan 32:52
So, and I had to read my read to myself at least one affirmation or declaration over my life. And I had a book of those, I had a Patricia King book of declarations, and I had written down some things for myself that in some quiet time that I'd had, Lord, give me some affirmations that will help me in the morning. And I just had to read one of those. And sometimes I had to put it on a card, or put it in my planner, and on my visor for my car, because I drove a lot around from place to place and just places where I would see it throughout the day. Because the enemies can speak one thing to you that is negative, but it's going to take seven or eight things positive, to cancel out that negative thing. So I wanted to have that one positive thing so that I would not give the enemy foothold in my day. And there were and I got to a place to where, okay, I see what you're doing here enemy and your little assignments over your house. And so and then be able to move forward. Then as things progressed, then, you know, then I didn't maybe need those things each and every day. But maybe every couple of days, I needed a goal of of doing something maybe I need to go of cleaning out an old box that I had avoided cleaning out because it had memories in it. Maybe, you know going to a restaurant that I avoided not because the food was horrible, but because I had memories that made me sad. And I would grab a friend and say hey, let's go have lunch at blah blah blah, and you know, things like that. So you know and just progress.
Tamara Anderson 34:40
So instead of letting these old memories keep you bound, you chose to break them with new progression and new members. I love that you invited somebody to go with you because sometimes, well we kind of talked about this earlier. It's so much easier to not do it alone, right? Right. It's gonna make a fun new memory at that restaurant, so that I can keep moving forward. And I'm not avoiding it, right? It's kind of like what you had to do with your life, though you kind of had to go and unpack those inner boxes in your life and say, Okay, we're gonna get rid of everything that is holding me back and unpack it, lay it all out for God to come in and heal. And keep moving forward. Yeah,
Coree Sullivan 35:33
yeah. Because the reality is, if we are in motion, and when we're, by definition, moving forward, if we become stagnant and just stay in the same place, whether that's physical or emotionally, or even spiritually, we don't grow, and then you know, and then things remain the same. If you really want change in your life, you're gonna have to be intentional about making it happen. That's really what has to. That's really how we do it. There's a reason in our car, that the rearview mirror is only about this big, and we've got this windshield. Because we're looking forward, we want to see everything we possibly can see and have a good vision point. We don't want to be looking in the rearview mirror.
Tamara Anderson 36:23
That is a really good analogy. To help us remember which way we should be facing and which way we should be focusing. Right. Right. And I think I think you learned that God helps you open up to that bigger, grander Vista. Paint is, and quit focusing on therearview mirror.
Coree Sullivan 36:43
Exactly. The rearview mirror is not where you're going. That's where you've been. So the the windshield is where you're going. And he wants to show you new things. And you can't look at new things. If you're still looking in the rearview mirror, you're, you're focused here, rather than here.
Tamara Anderson 37:02
So take the time to heal from all the stuff in your past, so you can have the momentum to move forward to a glorious future. Yeah,
Coree Sullivan 37:13
yes. You know, and I have to say that even though it was painful and ugly, and it was, it was a few decades, it was about three decades of that. I am so much more pleased with my life now. And I'm more at peace, and I have awesome friends that I can just go to and say, you know, I am blessed beyond measure. But today I'm having this feeling of sadness, or, you know, or something like that. And they come right, and then they don't hesitate, they come right alongside and say, okay, then we're going to whatever it is, that's going to get me past that or even just pray, pray with me on the phone.
Coree Sullivan 37:58
I've got a girlfriend that I was at a conference. She and I, you know, sometimes we go for a month or so without seeing each other, but we're on the phone at least once a week or so with each other. Because she lives about 45 minutes away from where I live. So anyway, I was in Washington DC at a at an event. And I happened to be in an elevator, going from my room down to the event and she call and she says I just need prayer for something. And so I said, Great, let's do it. And she goes, where are you? And I said, I'm in Washington, DC Oh, I tried. I forgot. I'm so sorry. Are you in the event? No, I'm in the elevator going to the event. So let's let's do this, you know, and, and it turns her day around. And likewise, I've done the same thing to her. I just need you to pray for me today. Because I am at this place on this particular whatever. And she does and I feel you just feel the rush of the Holy Spirit coming in the peace that comes with
Tamara Anderson 39:07
so don't forget the power of prayer and of inviting people to pray with you. I think you've also brought up a really good point here is that it is important and also good to be raw and vulnerable with people you trust because then you have real relationships right? It's not sugar coated. It is this is the real me. This is how I'm doing today because we all have you know life ebbs and flows and we have some ups and downs. But it's important to be real. So find people you can be real with right? Yes, yes.
Coree Sullivan 39:47
And the first person you have to be real with is yourself. Because you know what we lie to ourselves. We put on this persona sometimes that Oh, yeah, thanks for great, I got all my ducks in a row. And I am walking on sunshine, you know, when in fact, you know, really in your heart, maybe you're sad, maybe you feel rejected, maybe you're feeling shame. Maybe you're feeling maybe you have some depression going on maybe, you know, some somebody said something to you that was really hurtful and you're just trying to get past that, you know, like, really is that how they see me, you know, or something like that. Or you know, and when you're coming out of the divorce situation, there's a lot of that that goes on. And you really have to be intentional about being real about what that is and identify what that is, and then put it in the place that it belongs to be put in
Tamara Anderson 40:52
and counter it with the truth,
Coree Sullivan 40:53
right and counter it with the truth. Anytime you renounce something or get rid of something that is a lie, or a very hurtful situation, you need to fill that place with God's truth with a positive affirmation. Whatever it is, because you want to fill that void. Otherwise, that comes back in and expands. Yeah,
Tamara Anderson 41:19
I think you're right, that I've seen that principle hold true in my own life, that I need to sometimes remove stuff, but you're right you then I, I've gotten to a point where if I am trying to remove something from my life, I just say I invite God to be with me on that journey. But then I say help me take this out. But then replace it with your light. Replace it with your truth, you know, and I love the positive affirmation and you talked about that was such a good, good tip.
Coree Sullivan 41:52
Our self talk needs to be uplifting needs to be honoring to ourselves, we talk to ourselves probably worse than anybody we've ever talked to. And you know, I mean, we I, at least for me, I'm just saying, because I know I have said things to myself that I would never say to somebody else, you know, and why would I do that to myself? Why would I do that to myself? Well, I did. And I still find myself every now and then going. Oh, Cory, that was probably one of the dumbest thing you've ever in your lifetime? And then wait, no, no, I've actually done dumber. But it really was, you know, not that bad. And so Lord, give me knowledge to do better next time, more willingness to do better next time. And I break off what I just said over myself. And I invite you to show me what you have to say about who I am. You know, what if you can't have a good vision about yourself, nobody else is going to so partner with Father God, there are a lot of times during the day when Okay, Lord, how do you see this situation? Or how do you see me in this situation? And sometimes that's how I start my day, if I've had like maybe a risk, a night of not good rest. And I was very restless in my sleep and and maybe had a dream or two that were kind of disconcerting. Lord, how do you see me? And he will tell you, you know, I will see you as well able I see you as capable, I see you as beautiful. I see you as she sharing and giving and loving. You know, whatever it is. And then. So
Tamara Anderson 43:46
we love that ask God how he sees you. That's powerful. And I have asked him before and it's amazing. His vision for us. Right, right. But sometimes we need to find those moments of stillness when we are communicating with them so that we can have those conversations. So I think it's important. I think one of the biggest takeaways I'm hearing from you is, is it's important to have that relationship.
Coree Sullivan 44:14
It's key to everything. Yeah, really just like oxygen. I have to have it in order to survive.
Tamara Anderson 44:21
Wow. Well, this has been amazing, Cory. Before we go, would you mind sharing with us where we can find more information on you and connect with you where we can buy your book, all of that?
Coree Sullivan 44:34
Okay, well on my website, you can buy my book. My website is wwe.or www dot Kori CR E. Sullivan as you ll IV a n.com. My book is on there. You can actually reach me through there. Or you can just email me at info at Cory sullivan.com And I would like to offer your listeners for a complimentary consultation, because I know, a lot of times, you know, they're either listening now or there'll be listening later. And we all have questions. I know I do. And it really truly is my heart to help them find answers and clarity to some of the questions that they have. So if you have, you know, usually I set aside about 30 minutes, and we just talk about one something. And we can, hopefully provide you clarity and be able to move forward in getting breakthrough or getting past something that's keeping you stuck. Hmm.
Tamara Anderson 45:39
Wow, what a generous offer. Thank you so much. I'll be sure to include all of this in today's show notes, so that you can more easily find Cory and tap into her and ask her those questions that you have. Maybe you are stuck. So be sure to reach out to Cory and get your questions answered. Get her book, destiny after divorce. It's available on your website. Is it also on Amazon? Cory?
Coree Sullivan 46:03
It is on Amazon. Awesome.
Tamara Anderson 46:05
We'll put links to that also on the website. And, and be sure to grab that free console. That's so generous. Thank you so much. All right, Cory. Well, this has been so incredible. Thank you so much for taking time to not only share your story, but to give us hope that when we are in the deepest and darkest of times, that we're never alone, and that we can have God with us, wherever we are that we can reach out and invite others to help us in our healing journey because we were never meant to walk alone.
Coree Sullivan 46:39
No, we were not so and thank you, Tamra for doing this because I think one of the things that is so important right now in our world, and in our times, is to have hope. Because without hope we are lost.
Tamara Anderson 46:55
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of cope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe there was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else, Remember God loves you!
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