Annie McDaniel: I Can Do Hard Things
When Annie’s husband suffered a massive cerebellar stroke, her world changed. Through a series of small miracles, she found two mantras to live by through his very long recovery: “Stronger Every Day” & “I Can Do Hard Things.”
Episode Discussion Points
Why reading the "Drama in Real Life" from the Reader’s Digest helped prepare her for her own challenges.
The story of how her husband suffered a massive cerebellar stroke, but since it is so uncommon and the symptoms don’t match a regular stroke, it often goes misdiagnosed.
Being misdiagnosed because the CT scan couldn’t see the cerebellar stroke, and he was diagnosed with vertigo
Being misdiagnosed again with Viral Ear Infection
Her prayer of pleading to God to help her know what to do
Ended up being diagnosed with the Cerebellar Stroke and Hydrocephalus (and he was hours away from death unless they did surgery to relieve the pressure).
Make time to ugly cry and grieve because of the change.
She felt a tremendous peace and she felt like Darryl’s mother was there, “I am very aware of everything going on and I will be with Daryl."
How she remembered a talk called “I Can Do Hard Things” and she took 3 pieces of paper and wrote, "I can do hard things,” which became her mantra.
Daryl’s grim and not very promising prognosis
Feeling guilty that her husband was alive when so many others in the stroke unit were dying. But getting a warm reassurance from God that just like He was there with her in her story, He was with the others and knew the details of their story too and He was in control.
She was not responsible for anyone else or their story. God has that figured out.
He stayed at the hospital for a long time, and then went to a rehab center.
As a caregiver, Annie learned how important it was for her to take care of herself—get herself a Coke and a Snicker’s Bar and hang out at the chapel and it brought her peace. It is okay to take some time off as a caregiver.
The nurse whispered in her ear, “Stronger every day,” which she also added to her mantras.
The rehab and how hard it was when he couldn’t even brush his teeth.
Be willing to look for miracles every day—and speaking them out loud.
The beautiful visual image of taking your burdens and pinning them to Jesus’ cross, because He has already bourne them.
Annie knew faith was important, and love/charity was important, but she always wondered about hope. Hope became so critical while Daryl recovered—and how even though he had hopes and dreams about his recovery, “only the Lord knows” and Christ became the focus of his hope.
Physically and emotionally turning the outcome over to God
Turning ashes into a something beautiful.
How her sharing her story online and always ending with “Stronger every day,” and “I can do hard things,” has helped so many people.
Remember to have grace for other people when you see them around you.
We have angels all around us (family members who have passed on), but we have to “see” His hand through them.
Ask God to help you see the little miracles.
Things that bring Annie Peace
Listening to talks or sermons first
Exercising
Keeping things clean and simple in her home, so she can feel peace there
Listening to peaceful or fun music
Prayer: Talk to God all day long, and thank Him out-loud (gratitude)
Cerebellar Stroke Symptoms
Eyeballs flicking back and forth in head
Dizziness
Vomiting
Headache
Hard to speak
Hard to walk, poor coordination (often leaning to the side they had the stroke on).
Can’t remember
Cerebellar stroke comprise only 10% of strokes. Victims are often misdiagnosed, and although the stroke doesn’t kill them, the hydrocephalus (swelling in their brain) does, unless it is diagnosed correctly quickly.
Bible Verse
Phillipians 4 :13 - I can do all (hard) things through Christ who strengthens me.
John 14: 26-27- Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Resources
"Hope Heals” and “Suffer Strong” by Katherine & Jay Wolf
“The Power of Positive Thinking” Norman Vincent Peale
Music by Lauren Daigle
Connect With Annie
Facebook- Miss Annie’s Home + Kitchen
Instagram- Miss Annie’s Home + Kitchen
#tamarakanderson #storiesofhopeinhardtimes #podcast #hope #God #hardtimes #cerebellarstroke #stroke #symptomsofcerebellarstroke #missannie #peace #prayer
Transcription
You can find the transcription of today's episode here:
Annie McDaniel 0:03
Right and I went to bed early to kiss your Oh, goodbye. And he had a big goose egg on his head from falling into the tub. And he reached up and he felt that goose egg. And he said, what happened? And I said, You don't remember falling in the tub last night? And he said, I don't remember that. Very nonchalantly. And all the bells and whistles went off for me. I was like, if he doesn't remember that something is terribly wrong.
Tamara Anderson 0:40
Welcome to Stories of Hope in Hard Times, the show that explores how people endure and even thrive in difficult times, all with God's help. I'm your host Tamara K. Anderson. Join me on a journey to find inspiring stories of hope and wisdom learned in life's hardest moments.
Tamara Anderson 1:01
My guest today was born and raised in Florida and currently lives in Birmingham, Alabama. She has been married 37 years to her husband Darryl and they have three beautiful daughters, three awesome son in laws and nine wonderful grandchildren. for over 20 years she has been known as Miss Annie in the Birmingham area. She dresses up in a costume every day and teaches school science to over 20,000 children and 35 schools each year. Think of her as a modern Miss Frizzle. She thinks it is the best job ever. However, during the pandemic, she was not permitted to go into most of the schools where she visited. And through the encouragement of her friend Mama Sue, she began Miss Annie's Home and Kitchen on Facebook and Instagram, where she shares recipes, home ideas and encourages her followers to do hard things. She published her first cookbook and January of this year and she is a certified life coach where she loves self-help, business, the beach spending time with her family, doing exercise and playing sports. I am so pleased to present Annie McDaniel. Annie, are you ready to share your story of hope?
Annie McDaniel 2:27
Yes, I am. I'm so excited. Thank you so much for having me.
Tamara Anderson 2:31
Oh, it is truly a joy. And I am so excited to bring Annie on the show today. She has so many amazing stories. But I think we're going to focus today on one of her biggest struggles. But before we get to that, one of the fun facts about Miss Annie is that she has loved the Reader's Digest since she was like 10 years old. So tell me about that.
Annie McDaniel 2:57
Yeah, so So funny. My my mom and my dad always got the Reader's Digest. And I guess for a little while, of course, I just thought it was a grownups magazine, right. And my mom one time, just pointed the little magazine out to me. And she said, Annie, I think you would really like to read the drama in real life, which is you know, so in that little section, and there's a story every month drama in real life is what it's called. It's just a true story of something that has happened to someone and how they have overcome it like an attack by a grizzly bear or some kind of accident they were in or they were lost at sea or whatever. I started reading. And I mean, I have been reading now I'm 55. So I've been reading that magazine for 45 years. And every time I always open up to the drama in real life, and I just think it just I have always always been intrigued by people's stories, how they overcome and do hard things. And it's so funny, I got to think that I thought that just kind of like I think it laid the groundwork for my little life of just seeing how like people have challenges in their lives. It was such a motivation for me, you know?
Tamara Anderson 4:12
Yeah, hello, and none of our lives are without those challenges, right? We are all going to face them sooner or later. And so it's nice to hear other stories. And I guess that's kind of really what this podcast is all about is hearing other stories, and what they've overcome to get where they are today. So that's pretty, pretty neat. And you know, what's funny is, when I found the Reader's Digest, I always turn to the humor section. So you probably turned to a better section in the magazine than I did. But you know,
Annie McDaniel 4:46
What's funny is like, you know, as I was raising my kids, I always felt like, you know, it was always really hard for me to like, sit down and read a book. But the Reader's Digest, you know, I could sit down and I could read it and learn things you know about medicine or what was going on in the world. So I got a nice little condensed, you know, part of that, but that I do love the humor in uniform. And
Tamara Anderson 5:11
Yeah, those are always my favorite parts to read. Anyway, well, let's let's get on to this this big road bump in your life, kind of paint the picture for me what life looked like raising your family. And then the day that everything kind of changed? Yeah,
Annie McDaniel 5:31
Sure. So we are the parents of three daughters, and they are just precious and wonderful. And we just love them. They race them here in Birmingham, Alabama. love being here in the south. I grew up in Orlando, my parents are from Michigan. But we moved to Birmingham 32 years ago for my husband's job. And I immediately just love the warmth of the South. And, you know, you're right here, the Bible Belt, and people, you know, they just speak about God and Jesus. And to me, it just strengthened my testimony. And it was just said, it's just a, it's a really cool place to raise kids. And so our daughters were grown while they are grown, and they're married.
Annie McDaniel 6:23
And eight years ago, my husband was 54. And he suffered a massive cerebellar stroke. And it just came out of nowhere, because Darryl was exercising, he was working out with his friends, he played basketball every Wednesday night, just active. And so the way that it happened, though, and I do want to share this, because I think this is really important. His type of stroke doesn't look like a regular stroke. It's one of the more rare strokes, only about 10% of the strokes that ever happen are a cerebellar stroke. So the stroke happens in the cerebellum. He didn't have the typical signs of a stroke, the weakness, the slurring of speech or anything like that. So I'll kind of tell the story of how that happened.
Annie McDaniel 7:20
And as your listeners listen, you know, I want them to kind of pay attention to kind of the symptoms. Because when you hear these symptoms, you'll kind of be like, you know, like they're not the typical stroke symptoms, but I'll tell you the story. So what happened was Darryl and I, we, it was stormy weather in April. Here in Alabama. We get a lot of tornadoes during the month of April. And so our neighbor around the corner, her husband was out of town. And so Darryl and I just went on a walk down there to just say the storm is coming. You let us know if you need anything.
Annie McDaniel 7:59
And so while we were there, our sweet friend had some kind of a interesting kind of an I can't think it was kind of a Mediterranean dinner or something different that Darryl had never had before. It had eggs in it little spice. So he ate that and then we came home. And he said you don't just gonna sit right here and I got in the shower, and I got out of the shower. And Daryl I heard Darrell calling my name, which is very unusual for him because it's funny, but he actually never calls me by my name by Annie. It's usually just Terms of Endearment that he uses. When I heard my name, I thought something up. That's unusual. So I came out.
Annie McDaniel 8:43
And he said to me, something terribly wrong has happened. His eyeballs were flicking back and forth in his head. He said, please get me a bowl. And so I grabbed a bowl for him and he just started vomiting immediately. He could not pick his head up. He was incredibly, incredibly dizzy. Well, that is the stroke. Really? Yes. So those are the symptoms, vomiting, this eye movement back and forth. The dizziness. And but we didn't. We didn't know that. That was the stroke. I think if I had seen the weakness because his mother actually had a stroke. I would have recognized that. Honestly, I thought that maybe he had gotten sick from the food that he'd eaten. That was something that was not something that he would eat.
Annie McDaniel 9:36
So he said, You need to take me to the emergency room. I didn't think to call 911 I just thought well, I'll just get him in the car. Well, he's six foot two and I'm five three. And he's I'm kind of carrying him on my little back as we're kind of making our way through the living room and and then We had two little steps to go down to get to, you know, to the car. And he said, Do you think you can get me down the steps and I thought, yeah, I can get you down the steps. But he and I both fall out into the yard.
Annie McDaniel 10:16
So then I somehow managed to get him again, he almost cannot even he's leaning so far to the right, because the stroke happened in the right side of his cerebellum, which affects balance and equilibrium. So he's just literally almost leaning all the way to the right. He's this big guy, somehow, I get him in the car, drive to the emergency room, take him into the, you know, they come out and they helped me get in there. And then they did a CAT scan. And they came back and they said, there isn't anything on the CAT scan. And we think he has vertigo.
Annie McDaniel 10:57
I learned is it's really, really hard to actually see a cerebellar stroke using a CAT scan, because that area is so bony, that an MRI actually sees the image better. So they couldn't see that a stroke had occurred. They sent us home with the diagnosis of vertigo. Interesting. Yeah. So one of our dear friends, Scott Reno came up to the hospital. And then he drove home with me. And he literally almost had to carry Darryl in and put him in bed.
Tamara Anderson 11:30
Wow.
Annie McDaniel 11:31
So Tuesday comes and he's just in bed, and he can't really move and again, so we're thinking, Okay, it's vertigo. And we've heard bad stories about vertigo he has. So I went to work that morning, and I got home about noon, but I called a vertigo specialist, because the hospital gave us these names of, you know, these doctors to call. And so I called them. And this is so interesting, because when I call to make an appointment, the lady said, we won't be able to see him until next week, and I said, he'll be dead by then. I don't even know why I said that. But that is the truth of what would have happened. So he started complaining about a headache. And again, I'm having to put him on my back. And when he needed to go to the bathroom like and he doesn't remember any of this. But when he needed to go to the bathroom, and I would carry him on my back through the bath and polis can't sample his pants up.
Annie McDaniel 12:38
On this particular day, actually, when I got home from work, he loves to take a shower. And he had attempted to take a shower, I could see all of the proof of that. Towels were strewn, his clothes were strained, and I come in and he's laying on the bed like naked as a jaybird on the bed, but like almost uncanny. He just had no concept of what he was doing. So I took him and I put him in bed.
Annie McDaniel 13:05
That night, I called the elders of our church over and ask them if they would give him a blessing. And personally, my belief is that God just held him right there. Because he was actually misdiagnosed for four days before going on. So on that Wednesday, I actually do take him to the vertigo specialist, we have that appointment. My neighbors come over helped me get him in the car, because again, he can't walk. I get to the doctor's office, and I go in and I say I'm going to need a wheelchair. And they said why do you need a wheelchair? And I said he can't walk. And I just need that. And so we put him in the wheelchair.
Annie McDaniel 13:49
He sees the vertigo doctor and he's like, you know, tell me what's going on with him. Because at this point, Darrell is not speaking. He's not talking. He's just incredibly dizzy. Again, his eyeballs are moving back and forth. He's complaining of this headache. His blood pressure was sky high. And this doctor, through no fault of his own, pulled up the CAT scan from the hospital because his office was attached to the hospital that we went to see those records. So the he pulled up that CAT scan and it showed no stroke or anything. So he actually said I believe that he has a viral inner ear infection. And there's no blood test for that. It's just I'm looking at symptoms and that's what I think he has and he's going to be like this for six weeks.
Tamara Anderson 14:41
Oh, right. Wow.
Annie McDaniel 14:44
So then I put him back in the car with all the help, bring him home. And and then I just put him in bed and then I just spent like an hour or so just looking at viral inner ear infection. And he had all of a sudden terms of that of the dizziness and all that, but not the headache. The headache is really key here because headaches are really common in a stroke. And so then By the third day, Darryl, and this is where God just walks in and just starts showing us.
Annie McDaniel 15:21
And I believe things were happening so that we could see more clearly what was going on. So he had not really been getting up and communicating very much at all. And he just walked around the corner. And I was so shocked. And he was just standing there. And then he started talking about Harry Potter of all things. Oh, yeah, just the weird he started just like talking very strange and weird. And I'm like, something is going on here. This is I don't understand this. So we went to bed that night, though.
Annie McDaniel 15:55
And in the middle of the night at three o'clock in the morning, and this is so key to the story is he had gotten out of bed. And I didn't know that. And I hear this loud crash. And I jumped out of bed and I go into our bathroom. And Darryl is laying in the garden tub. And he's just, he's just staring at me. And I was like, Darryl What in the world? And he was, and he really couldn't talk to me. And what had happened was he had tripped and fallen in our tub. And I said, it's three o'clock in the morning. And I'm like, Darryl, we have to get you out of here. But he could not comprehend what I was saying. He didn't know what was going on. And I didn't want to call anybody at three o'clock in the morning. So yeah, very loudly. I said to him, Darryl, you have to help me figure this out. And so somehow he came to some consciousness. And he's always been able to help me figure out everything. And he just very clearly said, Put your foot here. I'm gonna do this, do this. So I was able to, you know, through leverage, I was able to get him out.
Annie McDaniel 17:05
And I put him in bed. I ran upstairs. And I just kneel down at the couch up there. And I just prayed and prayed and prayed. I was like Heavenly Father, please help me figure out what is going on with Darryl. Well, him falling in the tub was key to me, realizing the next day that he needed to go to the hospital again. Because in the morning, now it's Thursday morning. And I needed to go to work. And I because the doctor had said he would be like this for six weeks. I was like, Okay, well, I need to go to work. And I'll be home at noon. So I called his good friend and I said, Rob, will you come over and just sit with Darryl. So Rob, you know, was on his way. And I went into the bedroom to kiss Darryl goodbye, and he had a big goose egg on his head. I'm falling into the tob.
Tamara Anderson 18:01
We're gonna take a quick break. But when we get back, we'll have more lessons, tips and things you can apply to your life. Stay tuned.
Tamara Anderson 18:10
How many of you out there feel like your life is chaotic, crazy, and completely awful compared to the norm? What if I were to tell you you are normal for you. I'm so excited to tell you about my book Normal for Me, learning to love and accept life's detours with God's help. This book took me 10 years to write. And I shared 20 years worth of lessons learned in my life detours, including being in a car accident and having two of my children diagnosed on the autism spectrum. In this book, I share the secrets of how I made it from despair to peace with God's help. I talked about being a zombie mom, living in survival mode, learning true faith, and how I debunked the myth that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. normal for me also includes a bonus diagnosis survival guide at the very end of the book in which I shared 12 tips to survive and thrive in tough times. So what are you waiting for? Grab your copy of Normal for Me today on Amazon or on my website? TamaraKAnderson.com.
Annie McDaniel 19:29
And I want you to bedroom to kiss Darryl goodbye. And he had a big goose egg on his head from falling into the tub. And he reached up and he felt that goose egg and he said what happened? You don't remember falling in the tub last night. And he said I don't remember that very nonchalantly. And all the bells and whistles went off for me. I was like if he doesn't remember that something is tear Are we wrong?
Annie McDaniel 20:01
So I called our neighbor again. And I said, Trey, will you please help me get him in the car, I'm taking him back to the emergency room. So we get back to the emergency room. And amazingly, amazingly, they take him right back and not just to the little, not just to the little room where you're just going away, like they took him all the way back. He's on this table. And thank goodness, this amazing doctor walked in, and he said, tell me what's going on. And I said, this has happened since Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I don't know why I'm here. They told me he was going to be like this for six weeks.
Annie McDaniel 20:40
And so he did another he actually did a CAT scan, and it did show up now. Oh, yes. And he's came back to me. And he said, your husband has had a massive cerebellar stroke. But he also has the complication of hydrocephalus. So he was like, Do you know what that is? And I'm thinking, I don't know, I couldn't even, I just couldn't even think right at the time. So what I didn't know is hydrocephalus. And this is good for your listeners to know if they don't know. Your spinal fluid runs like from your spine all the way around your brain and down and it just makes this circular motion. Well, because Darryl Stroke was in the right side of the cerebellum, it became swollen, and then it cuts off that fluid. Oh, so he developed this hydrocephalus, which is very common in this kind of stroke. And most people don't die from the stroke, they die because they're misdiagnosed, and then the hydrocephalus sets in which then the pressure of that fluid pushes on the brain and then pushes your brain down into your brainstem. And that's what you die from.
Tamara Anderson 21:57
Wow.
Annie McDaniel 21:57
So he said, we are just hours away from him dying. So he said, we have to lifeflight him. So a helicopter was called and he was flown to Princeton hospital. And a hole was drilled in his head to relieve all of that pressure. And then we just waited to see what would happen. And it was and then that is actually so that that's the stroke. That's what happened. But then after that, that's the beauty of I was talking to Darryl about this, even this week was that, and I feel like that most people if they're willing to see it, and those of us who have been through difficult hard things, is that I felt the presence of the Lord around me so strongly at this time. It was so profound that even though it was so crazy and so hectic, I felt some sort of this little bit of peace, kind of wash over me. So that night, you know, so he's had this surgery. And I could have stayed at the house, I could not stay in the room within an ICU.
Annie McDaniel 23:15
And I didn't really want to stay in the waiting room because it was crazy and hectic. You know the way they did. And all of my our friends were there. And they were so wonderful. And they were like, you can't go home by yourself. We'll come home with you and all the thing, but I know myself. And this is the part where I think that as a caregiver, like it's important to recognize your needs. And it was hard for me to tell my friends No, but I also knew that I needed to get home and I needed to be by myself. Because I needed to cry it out.
Annie McDaniel 23:50
I need to pray it out. And I didn't want anyone to I didn't want anyone to say you know, are you okay? or anything like that. I just needed to just do all that. But on my drive home, I was just driving home and I felt I was just thinking about everything and and then a talk that I had heard at a women's conference by Elaine Dalton in 2008. And she spoke about I can do hard things. And honestly, I don't remember much of the talk except for that part. And so I kind of made a note of that in my brain like I can do hard things.
Annie McDaniel 24:30
I came home, went in our bedroom I started crying and crying and praying and praying. And the sounds honestly that were coming out of me, I've never cried like that before. I've never prayed like that before. I think so many people probably can relate to that if they've had experiences. I was kneeling by our bed. I was on my back on the floor. I just was all over that room. And just praying and praying so hard.
Annie McDaniel 25:03
And I listened to your podcast by Vinney, recently, and I rarely share this part of my story, but I just want to share this. I found myself in the corner of our room, crying and crying just uncontrollably. And all of a sudden, this peace, just enter that room. And Darryl's mother had passed away 20 years before. I had not thought about her that day at all. And she, I know, she came into that room. And all of a sudden, I was so calm. And I didn't see her. I just felt her presence. And she said to me, not in a voice that I could hear. But like our spirits, were speaking to one another. And she said, "I am very aware of everything that's going on. And I will be with Darryl." And I felt so much peace.
Annie McDaniel 26:14
So I got up off my knees. And I ran upstairs. And I took three pieces of paper out of our coffee machine, and I grabbed a Sharpie markers. And I wrote, I can do hard things on each piece of paper. That one on the back door. Because I knew I was going to be coming in and out that door. I put one on the bathroom mirror, because I knew I'd be in the bathroom, one on my dresser to give me that inspiration. You know, I didn't know what. And I did not even I didn't know if you're gonna survive. I didn't know what my life was gonna look like I didn't know. But I thought I can do hard things. And it has become so powerful that I can do hard things. Well, Darrell, while he was an ICU, he doesn't remember most of that. And he was he was there for a week. But when the doctor spoke to me, he said, when his neurosurgeon spoke to me, he said, he won't be here at least at least six weeks, and he may not get out.
Tamara Anderson 27:28
Wow.
Annie McDaniel 27:29
And so a week later, you know, every day, I saw little tiny miracles, I learned so much during that time, I would get in my car every morning. And I would just pray and believe that God loved Darryl and I, and that I knew that I had to accept whatever his will was. And that meant whether he'd lived and had all kinds of handicaps, whether he lived and didn't have any deficits or whether he died, like, I just decided to believe that he that God was truly my Father, and He was looking out for both of us. Your all was the only person in ICU in that stroke unit that could even eat. There are people around us dying. I remember being in the elevator one time with a husband and his son and the mother had passed away. So and I remember, I remember getting home and thinking, feeling almost guilty for Darryl making progress and everyone else not. And so, but I remember the Lord saying to me, he was like,
Annie McDaniel 28:52
I know everybody's story. And I'm in control. And I've got them and I've got Darryl. And you are not responsible for any of that. It's just a beautiful awareness for me like that I could let go. I could just appreciate what God was doing for me, but understand that He also understood every one else.
Annie McDaniel 29:20
So then we went to the rehab center, and there wasn't a rehab center for another week. But the beauty of all of that is that again, as your listeners are listening in, there are so many of us that become caregivers. And I think what's important is that and I don't know why or how I've understood this, but in the middle of all of it. I knew that it was important to take care of me. And on some really particularly hard days. I just would find the chair I call at the hospital. And I would find the chair and I found the Chapel of the rehab center. And I also knew where the Coke machine was to go into the chapel, and I would just pray and pray. And I drink my diet coke and have my little Snicker bar. And it just for it just brought me so much comfort to be in the chapel and just feel that, and most of the time I was there all by myself. And I could just talk and, and so I think when you are in the middle of caregiving, that it's important that you take a little time out, like, go on a walk.
Annie McDaniel 30:47
I mean, when once we got home, oh my gosh, it was physical therapy. It was every day, it was all the things. So. But anyway, so we were in in rehab for just a week, which is a miracle. As we were leaving, his precious nurse just took me in her arms, and she just whispered in my ear, and she just said "stronger every day." And what I took from that is even the tiniest thing, because Darryl couldn't take a shower on his own. He struggled to brush his teeth. He, I mean, oh my gosh, just all of the tiny things that we take for granted, he could not do. But then he figured it out little by little by little. And we put up signs that said, "I can do hard things" and "stronger every day" in our house. And he just believed it. He wanted so badly to get back to his life. You know, at the rehab center, he's sitting there, he's 54. And he said, he looked around and he's in this wheelchair, and everybody else are in wheelchairs. And they're like, 80 and 90 years old. Like how did I get here?
Annie McDaniel 30:56
Anyway, but so stronger every day, and I can do how hard things have become just these powerful mantras in our life. One of the most powerful things I learned through that experience was to be willing to look for the miracle every day, the tiny little things that God is showing us that he's aware of us. And I continued that to this day, just I'm grateful for the beautiful flower that wins. And I speak that out loud. Yeah, I'm so thankful for that beautiful, thank you, God for showing me who you are.
Tamara Anderson 32:47
Wow, what a powerful story. It's, it's so incredible to hear it through your lens of faith. And I love how vulnerable and raw you were about talking about those prayers that took you all over your bedroom, the corner, the bed on the floor, because we all have those moments where it's like, it is the longest night ever! You know, you feel like it's never gonna get over and you're never going to get through it. And you're just pouring your heart out to God and begging for help begging for something.
Tamara Anderson 33:25
And what a blessing that your answer that night was an angel, you know that Darryl's mom came and reassured you that she was going to be there when you couldn't. And I think I think it helps me realize more than I probably realize on a normal day to day basis how much these people who love us and have left us, still care and still are a part of our lives, even though we may not see them. You know, and, and that they can help us not only endure those long, dark nights, but they can help us with our loved ones. When perhaps we can't because we can't be everywhere to everyone all at the same time. And and how great it is.
Tamara Anderson 34:20
Another thing that I really love that you talked about, was about how God sees us each in our own story and that we're not responsible for everybody's path, but he is that he is with them on that journey. And he'll help them wherever they are. Because I think so many times especially as moms and our parents. We take that role on it's like, well, that's my cross to bear. And it's almost like Jesus Jesus saying no, no, I've already born the cross. And and and so it's it's intro Assuming that so many times we try to take on ourselves like all of like these, this huge backpack full of burdens. And God's just there saying, You don't need to carry that. I mean, you can if you want, but I got this.
Annie McDaniel 35:16
And I'm so glad that you bring up the cross too, because one of my, you know, I was taught such a beautiful lesson. And I've really learned to just, I just love this so much one of my precious friends who had such a challenging upbringing, and she was raised in the Baptist faith. And she said that she would go to girls camp, and she said that, you know, there would be a cross. And she said, you know, they would have an opportunity to write down like on index cards, like all of the burdens that they were carrying. And this precious friend of mine was adopted at 12 years old. And had had, you know, just kind of a tumultuous childhood, and then at 12 years old, was adopted by this beautiful Christian family.
Annie McDaniel 36:06
And so here, she's at this girl's camp, and she said, you know, she would write down all of her worries and concerns and everything in that she would take off, all of the girls would take all of their worries and their concerns and their burdens and go pin them on the cross, like that he has already borne this end to take your burdens and put them there. And as a teacher, you know, such a visual, and I think, really all of us learn that way. But I know that for me, like that has become such a beautiful, symbolic way for me to remember, he has already born this. He knows all of it.
Annie McDaniel 36:49
And, you know, I love your the stories of hope. I know hope is kind of the key note to what all of that you are doing. And that was one thing that Darryl and I also learned the power of hope. Because I don't know what I was thinking like, forever. I just thought, you know, I know faith is important. Love is important. But hope was like this, I couldn't, you know, charity was important, but like, let's talk about hope.
Annie McDaniel 37:17
Well, so I remember when one day Daryl and I just weeks after his stroke. And we were just talking about what had happened. And then he shared, we were talking about the importance of hope. And he said to me, he said, You know, I, my testimony of hope is just growing and growing, because he said, I hope that I will get better. I hope that I'll be able to walk again. I hope that I'll be able to not be as dizzy. And then he said, and only the Lord knows exactly how I feel. And exactly what's going on in my head. Like, I have so much hope in Christ, because he completely understands. So ever since then, I don't know. It just has opened up my eyes to what and the power of hope in our lives. Like if we don't have hope, like we need hope in our lives, you know, to just move forward. Yeah, doing the good things and the hard things. Yeah.
Tamara Anderson 38:23
Yeah. Well, and I love that part of your self care routine, involved Christ in it, you know that you would go to the chapel, and that he You made Him part of your hope.
Annie McDaniel 38:38
Right.
Tamara Anderson 38:38
And that's, that's where true hope really comes from it's hope in Jesus Christ that all things will work out in the end, whether it be in this life or the next, everything's going to work out, you know, but sometimes it's just that hope that okay, well, if it doesn't work out how I'm, I'm wishing it would, that in the end, I'm going to trust You with this, the you got this, and you're gonna carry me. You're gonna make me strong enough to carry this burden. And it's really not by ourselves. I love I love your "I can do hard things." One of my mantras since just everything that I've gone through, especially with two kids on the autism spectrum is I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, from Philippians 4:13. And that really, I love your your mantra there if I can do hard things. Because through Him, He empowers us to just day by day get gradually stronger and stronger with his help, as we kind of. I love the mental image of you carrying Darryl, you know, because I think Jesus does that for each of us. You know, we're falling over and I'm just not strong enough to do it on my own. He's like, I got you.
Annie McDaniel 39:54
Right
Tamara Anderson 39:54
except for him. He's like big and strong and you know, he's He's big enough and strong enough to carry us through that. But we have to make that time to, to allow him to do that. You know that connection.
Annie McDaniel 40:09
Yes. Well, and you know, honestly, I had probably one of the most profound spiritual experiences. Well, I had so many through this experience. But so Monday, Darryl had the stroke. Thursday, he was finally we had the answers. And so Friday, Saturday, Sunday comes, we still don't know, what really is going to happen with him. And I remember just walking out of his room and finding a very quiet place and sitting in a chair, and deciding, you know, again, like to turn it completely over to God. And it was a physical experience. It was emotional. It was spiritual. And it wasn't easy. Because I I wasn't, I didn't want to let him go. Yeah, I, but I didn't want him to have deficits, either. I mean, I was like, I was just like, I wanted it to be what I wanted it to be. And then and then I just decided. I had, Anyway, I remember just sitting there. And spiritually, again, spiritually, emotionally, physically, releasing it, all of it to him. And then I finally understood what so many of my precious friends say around me, just give it to God. And I was like, This is what it looks like. And then from then, you know, moving forward in my life now we're eight years out.
Tamara Anderson 41:49
Yeah, tell me where you're at now.
Annie McDaniel 41:51
Oh, my gosh, you know, Darryl, just, you know, he still has some deficits that are very, you would never see them, you don't see them. He struggles sometimes with dizziness. Well, every day, he's dizzy, but he can manage it now. But from the "stronger every day," and "I can do hard things," I began posting on Facebook, I hadn't really posted ever until that happened. And I would just kind of update everybody every day on what was going on. And I would end it with "stronger every day, I can do hard things."
Annie McDaniel 42:26
And from those posts, little did I know that God was going to take this experience that Darryl and I went through- ashes and turn it into a thing of beauty because so many people began reaching out to us saying, I'm in Well, I am in education. So I would have teachers say, I'm working on my Master's and Miss Annie, I can do hard things. And you know, people who were wanting to run a marathon, saying I can do hard things.
Annie McDaniel 43:00
Hard Things doesn't always mean trials, you know, getting through the rough things, it can also mean doing things you'd really want to do. And so, you know, I've had many opportunities now to speak, and to share the story, but also, to be able to spread the message of, I can do hard things. So I sell T shirts and hats and all kinds of stuff people order you know, I mean, like literally, hundreds and hundreds of people walk around with these, I can do hard things shirts on, which is so beautiful, because I can remember being in the shower probably a couple months ago.
Annie McDaniel 43:39
And I we still have "I can do hard things" on the mirror in our bathroom. And I remember looking at that just recently, but I also remember being in the shower, like within the second day of Darryl's stroke just bawling my eyeballs out and thinking can I really do hard things I know hard things. And then to see where we are today and so many people just sharing with me how good our story and I can do her things has just really helped them in their lives. Sometimes I just can't believe it. Sometimes I'm amazed at it. So great. He's great. He's a he's an IT guy. He's, he he's, he's fishing he's doing the things that he loves to do. And and I own my Little Miss Annie's educational adventures where I just go out and teach science and then I'm doing Miss Annie's Home and Kitchen which has been super fun.
Annie McDaniel 44:37
And you know, and in the miscellaneous home kitchen, I have an opportunity three times a week I release these videos and I always share. You know the message of it is about helping people simplify their little lives. You know, as far as like I really love educators and working moms and these are these are Some simple mails, and this is some super easy ways that you can help your family. But also, then I always share a little message at the end about how they can do hard things. And, and that's really the message that I feel like God has called me to share is, through this experience that we can do hard things. We all do hard things. To have grace for other people, because we don't know what is happening in their lives.
Annie McDaniel 45:29
I think I shared with you that I had gone to Walmart late one night after being an ICU, and I had to pick up something and I remember thinking, you know, you see all these people there at midnight. And, and I was just thinking, they have no idea that my husband could possibly die. I have no idea what's going on within there. And it just taught me this beautiful lesson. I'm like, we don't know. Give others grace and ourselves grace.
Tamara Anderson 46:02
That is, that is beautiful. I really, really love that I love that. It just kind of gives you a different perspective, when you look at people when you when you try to look at them through the eyes of grace. Now, Annie, do you have a favorite Bible verse that has become meaningful to you through all of this, I might have shared it and if so I apologize.
Annie McDaniel 46:27
I love it. So so too, I think you know, the one. I can do all things through Christ, that I'd love to insert that word I can do all things, which also means hard things. He strengthens me. And then the "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you but your heart, but not your heart you troubled. What does it say?
Tamara Anderson 46:53
Let not your heart be troubled. Neither let it be afraid."
Annie McDaniel 46:56
Be afraid, right? Yeah, Peace is my favorite feeling to feel. And I love to do. Like, I love to do things in my life that helped me to feel that peace. So anyway.
Tamara Anderson 47:11
What are some of those things really quick before we go? What are some of those little things that help you feel peace?
Annie McDaniel 47:18
Well, I find a lot of so I exercise every day. And it used to be a long time ago like to make sure that my body was in shape. But now it's more to make my my brain in shape. I spend that time when I exercise, which either is through the walking, I have some certain routines that I do. But I don't look at my social media or anything during that time. Many times I listen to sermons or talks. I listen to the scriptures, I love to start my day that way. Because if I start my day that way And it sets the tone for the day. Oh, I love to have my home is to me a peaceful place. I create peace by the way that I keep my home. I like cleanliness and things to be simple. So that's something that I do. I try to just listen to music that's uplifting. I also love really super fun music too. But you know, I just that I just try to find peace in my life through all the ways, you know, just recognizing and I say to myself all the time, I just talk with God, all day long. I feel like you know, I love thank you for that beautiful sunset, thank you for this, thank you for that. And it just to me invites the spirit of peace into my heart.
Tamara Anderson 48:55
Those are all key things that I've found to be super helpful too. And I love how you said that, that, that that spirit of gratitude also invites peace. And sometimes that can be hard when you're going through something particularly difficult to look at things through the lens of gratitude, but how beautiful it is, you know, to be able to incorporate that into our lives because it really does. I think God that is God's answer to gratitude--peace. You know, you're thankful. Here's a little bit of peace for you, you know what I mean? At least we're gonna we're gonna say that, okay.
Annie McDaniel 49:38
Perfect data. And I'm not gonna say that I haven't questioned or have been upset or whatever. I mean, I think that that's just part of being human. But I think when, I think that even though when we cry out and when we're upset and we're angry, God can handle that. He's big enough for that. You know, so I just think that speaking to him and being honest in our conversation with him I mean, he's gonna he'll answer and he'll be there. And again, like what you said, I think that our I do believe that we have angels all around us. And I think that those are our family members who have passed on situations, that's going to be who they are. And they're cheering us on. I think God gives us everything that we need. We just have to see it with us.
Tamara Anderson 50:25
I love how you said, we have to see it. That might be a good prayer to have right? Help me to see. See the little miracles that perhaps I'm not seeing right now. Because you you said that at the beginning, how you had to look for the miracles the itty bitty tiny, baby step miracles that we often just, they just pass us by. And so that's a good prayer, right, you know, to help me to see those little miracles for what they are.
Annie McDaniel 50:58
Yes. And believe him when he says, Ask, and I'll give it to you, you know, like, I mean, help me. I mean, he is so ready. And he actually even answers prayers, even the ones we don't know. But we're just happy to see that into. And just to look for it. It's so important.
Tamara Anderson 51:22
Oh, my goodness, Annie. Well, this has been so much fun. And I know that there's going to be people out there who are like, I want to know more about Miss Annie or her home and cooking and, and all that stuff. So where can we connect with you? How can we do that?
Annie McDaniel 51:37
Okay, well, right now, the place that I'm most present is going to be just on Facebook and Instagram. And so if you look at missing any Home and Kitchen, you will find it there. I try to answer all the comments, I try to answer all the messages I'm I'm I'm doing all of that. You can, there's if you go to Miss Annie's Home and Kitchen.com you can find there's a shop that I have. And you can find hats and sweatshirts and T shirts and all the things that say I can do hard things. There's also hope, sweatshirts and T shirts. So anyway, and if you just need a little, like, seriously, I wear I can do our things on my body somewhere every day Oh, because it really does help me truly believe that I really can through God be able to do all the hard things that I want to do. Even if that means publishing a cookbook, or, you know, just helping your children with autism or whatever it is, you know, like he will help you do hard things, all the things that you want and desire in your life.
Tamara Anderson 52:48
Yeah. And do go check out her store because they're absolutely adorable. She sent me the link to and it's just so so cute. I mean, all her stuff is just adorable. And, and we do need to be reminded that we can do hard things. But just one step at a time, right? Oh my goodness, Annie. Well, this has been so much fun. And I'm just so thankful you've been able to come on today and share with us not only your story, but your your faith of how God got you through, you know, just one baby step at a time and that you're stronger every day and that you can do hard things. And I think those are things we can all get behind. We need to remind ourselves of that every day.
Annie McDaniel 53:31
Well, it has been a treat and such a pleasure. And I love, love, love what you're doing and the contribution that you are putting out into the world. It is I just think you're doing amazing things. And I appreciate you so much for having me on. Thank you.
Tamara Anderson 53:45
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of powerful stories of hope. I know there are many of you out there who are going through a hard time, and I hope you found useful things that you can apply to your own life in today's podcast. If you'd like to access the show notes of today's show, please visit my website stories of hope podcast.com. There you will find a summary of today's show, the transcript and one of my favorite takeaways. You know, if someone kept coming to mind during today's episode, perhaps that means that you should share this episode with them. Maybe it was a story shared or quote or a scripture verse that they really really need to hear. So go ahead and share this podcast. May God bless you, especially if you are struggling with hope to carry on and have the strength to keep going. When things get tough. Remember to walk with Christ and He will help you bear the burden. And above all else Remember God loves you!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai